by minimus 82 Replies latest jw friends
Yuck. Yes, that does remind me of Big Tex's sister's letter. Man, that would really frost me, being talked about in the third person. And, by the way, tell your lovely daughter congratulations on her upcoming marriage! I hope she will be blissfully, totally happy. That's the best revenge to get on the sour little person who wrote that e-mail.
Nina
Minim
I had "friends" like that too.
Oh to be the perfect judgemental jdub.
"Oh but isn't calling everyone who is different from you 'wordly' derrogatory and judgemental?"
My mom: "oh no of course not"
This certain "friend" is someone I call "a poster girl for the perfect Witness". She's married to an ex-Bethelite elder. Her father's an elder who was years ago disfellowshipped for immorality; everyone else in her family have gotten either reproved or disfellowshipped. She's a priss that got into trouble when she was younger and got reproved. Now, she is a tower of strength and a perfect example to follow. She's not a horrible person, either. She's just a typical Witness.
Minimus I think it is a case of jealousy. I'm sure that she is genuine in her concern that if there are outside influences then it is easier for someone to leave. (There is life out there.)
I really do believe that JW's are pathologicaly jealous. It would be an interesting study to do. To see if the physical and mental abuse that occurs is really a fear of loosing "contol."
Let's change this to see how this would have sounded if written directly towards your daughter, instead of this cowardly method of making it sound as if she is referring to somebody else.
... And that made me think of some news that I heard recently . See, it turns out that you, who I thought was of my closest friends, despite the fact that we don't see each other that much anymore , have been dating a worldly guy for quite some time now. And this isn't the kind of case where you'd say, maybe you just don't know better...because you do. You certainly do, because if you thought it was something OK then you would've told me about it. But the fact that you knew not to tell me, shows that you know just how wrong it is. You know that I wouldn't, or couldn't, just shut my mouth about it . S ee, you had dated this brother for a while, but things didn't turn out the way you hoped. And then it seemed that all of your friends were getting married, when you had hoped that you would be too. And I know that's a really hard thing to deal with. But that's absolutely no excuse to go and date a worldly guy. What also may have led to this was that you used to be a pioneer, hanging out with other pioneers and strong Witnesses. Then you stopped pioneering and started working, which, isn't necessarily wrong. Some people aren't cut out to be pioneer s . But they can still be a good Witness. But see, you started hanging out with some Witnesses who weren't very strong . And soon, your strong Witness friends stopped seeing you. And when they did see you, you just weren't the old friend they remembered. S o, what do you think I should do? Do I tell you that I can ' t really be your friend, knowing that you've been lying to me for so long? Or because you've been doing things with your life that aren't fitting for a Christian? Or do I stick around, trying to be there for you like I have been, hoping that you'll smarten up and do the right thing? ...This is absolutely NAUSEATING. Brain-dead, borg-drone, Tower-whipped, self-righteous dub. BARF!!!!!
Oh....... I see she said that your daughter is dating a worldly guy ...... an activity not fitting for a Christian? Yes, that's right, only true Christians date, get engaged and get married. Hello???? Where does this woman think all the people she is preaching to come from???
I have a friend in a similar situation. He is not really dating the JW girl, but they like each other a lot. Once he asked her why they couldn't go out, and she said because it was a sin. And he asked her why was that a sin, and she said there was no point in going out just for fun, since they couldn't marry. Ok, so why cant they marry? She said that because in the bible it says "You shall marry only in God" or something like that, which I know is in the bible, but isnt any other Christian also "in God"? I know that in a JWs point of view, they are not "in God", being from another religion, but how to make them understand this concept? She does not reject my friend, on the contrary, she shows him how much she likes him, but she lives in the constant fear she will be seen with him or of what she needs to do to be with him. She tried converting him, but he refused. She is really strong in her beliefs, although she does not know much. What do you all think of this situation?
ok I think your daughter needs to send her old friend an invitation to the engagement party, wedding shower and wedding and in each case put a hand written note on it saying that of course she does not expect her to comeand associate with 'worldly' people-and will NOT be setting a place for her-- , but send a gift anyway-and have your daughter register for gifts at an expensive store and give the info to her old friend on the card. Since all the girl is good for is nothing but what she can get out of her gift-wise.
Ravyn
The new and improved version of that email. Have your daughter send this one back to her old friend. Hey, So, I watched a rerun of Dateline NBC recently that was about pedophiles and child abuse in the Organization. The interviewer brought out that this was more prevalent among Witnesses rather than worldly people, because it seems that the organization does not report pedophiles and child abuse to the proper authorities and thinks it is above the law which means it has lost it's correct place. He went on to say that even abused people don't want to go to the police for fear of a good Christian brother or sister denying it or lying about it and the elders getting upset...so they're living with the abuse and continuing to be victims or else disfellowshipped and treated like worldly people... And that made me think of some news that I heard recently . See, it turns out that someone I thought was one of my closest friends, despite the fact that we don't see each other that much anymore , has been abused by her elder father for quite some time now. And this isn't the kind of case where you'd say, maybe he just didn't know better...because he does. He certainly does, because if he thought it was something OK then he would've told everyone about it. But the fact that he knew not to tell , shows that he knows just how wrong it is. I wouldn't, or couldn't, just shut my mouth about it . S ee, he had suffered in a bad marriage for a while, his wife was unsubmissive and got low service hours. And then it seemed that all of the friends were getting married to submissive wives who pioneered, and he had hoped that he would too. And I know that's a really hard thing to deal with, being the daughter and having to perform the wifely duties. But that's absolutely no excuse to go and report this to the police and besmirched jehovah's good name by negative publicity. What also may have led to this was that the daughter is very pretty. And she was hanging out with other pretty sister pioneers and submissive wives . Then his wife stopped having sex with him and started working, which, isn't necessarily wrong. Some people aren't cut out to be submissive sex-toys . But they can still be a good Witness. But see, then his daughter started hanging out with some Witnesses who weren't very strong . And soon, her strong Witness friends stopped seeing her. And when they did see her, she just wasn ' t the old friend they remembered. She was even prettier because now she was allowed to where nice stylish clothes and get her hair done buy a real salon, and she even got her nails done. S o, you see it really is the daughters fault for seducing her father! Do I tell her that I can ' t really be her friend, knowing that she's been seducing her father for so long? Or because she's been doing things with her life that aren't fitting for a Christian? Or do I stick around, trying to be there for her like I have been, hoping that she'll smarten up and do the right thing and keep her mouth shut and keep jehovah's name clean? I just don't know what to do because it seems that over the years I've lost a lot of friends to this type of thing. And I try my best to help them and it doesn't seem to work. And then I kick myself thinking "what else should I have done?" But you know what? All of my friends are grown ups, most raised in the truth, baptized because they chose to devote their lives to Jehovah. So although I can be there to try and help them with pedophilia, ultimately, they're the ones who have to make the decisions, whether right or wrong. I just have to sit here, hoping they'll make the right one and stick around so we can be friends forever. And if they've sometimes made the wrong one, then I can still hope that at some point they'll realize what a mistake that decision was and fix it. So, if you want to, let me know your thoughts on this... Ravyn
