by stan livedeath 38 Replies latest jw experiences
A simple " me" if you dont want to say more--or a short explanation about who is shunning you and how long has this been going on.
I'll set the ball rolling: my daughter--her husband and children; my younger son --no contact from them for 40 years...because i left their religion.
(Edit--i just noticed the typo in the header--if should be of )
My closest elder friend is now ghosting me. (We've been gone about 8 (+/-) years.) Maybe he will still call to remind me of the Memorial.
Our kids are POMO. Most siblings have not cut us off. One is PIMO, others are PIMI (but still stay in contact since we are just "stumbled" and inactive).The ones who have cut us off have done so for other reasons, but take the self righteous position that we are "bad" people.
The shunning for me started before I even left. I noticed that friends I had for a decade or two decades stopped communicating with me. At that point I was inactive in the ministry and occasionally attended meetings.
It was at a Circuit Assembly that I first realized the shunning began. It was custom to go out to dinner after the afternoon session with friends. No invites were received.
I have been completely out for about 12 years. 1 parent and 1 sibling have not spoken to me in years. None of my friends speak to me.
Me. The soft shunning began perhaps 14 or 15 years ago while I was still PIMI and was "reaching" out to be used more.
The harder I tried, and the faster I spun the hamster wheel the more I was soft shunned by even long time friends.
My being vocal about the nepotism openly displayed in the congregation, the way guidelines for financial record keeping in the congregation were being ignored, the way a favored brother was openly practicing drunkenness-adultery-embezzlement-and tax fraud because he gave large $$$ contributions to the KH, and the way my parents were being treated even though they had spent their entire adult lives financially loyal to WT and members of the different congregations they were in was when the harder shunning began.
COVID gave them the "safety" excuse they needed to openly hard shun me, although no announcement has ever been made.
I had been very close to my one aunt (I have 2), and when I stopped attending, this aunt gave me 2 magazines, and asked me to read them, kindly. I handed them back to her, and kindly told her I would take these magazines, if she did 3 things for me. Read the 1972 WT, article entitled, “ They Shall Know a Prophet was among Them.” (1). Identify the prophet (2). And then read Deuteronomy 18:20-22 (3). She wrote this down. I then told her that this was not “apostate” literature, only their own publications and the Bible. About a week later, she wrote me a letter, telling me she would not bring me any more literature. And the shunning began. However, when I’m at a family function, wedding, funeral, etc. she does give me a hug and say hi. If she would totally ghost me, it would be a bad witness, since the ‘worldly’ relatives would notice.
I’m soft shunned. We were well liked in the congregation until about 12 years ago when there was an incident with one of our children. We attended on zoom with no camera during the plandemic and it seemed to get worse.
We’ve been going to the meetings since they re started and the congregation acts very cold to us. I find the concept of ostracism interesting as it is also practised in other social groups other than Jws.
Knowing what I know about the subject and the fact we have good social connections outside of the Borg I have the ability to make jws feel very uncomfortable
I was at an car show event and a sister set up as a vendor there. I looked over her wares, but didn't see anyone to question... it was only by walking by again, that I noticed her ...she quickly turned away.( so I think she may have seen me the first time -people usually watch their sales spaces closely) She is in the next congregation over where I used to go. My family aren't close to where I live. They aren't JW...So all my "friends" here are shunning. I knew that would happen,but I have a clear conscience and that is better than conditional friends IMO
Me and my daughter are shunned by my late wife's brothers and their families. It's been going on about 10 years or so even though my daughter and I left over 20 years ago. It seems that the 'family' got pangs of conscience for associating with us. Everything was well and good when the males of the family were working for the company that I and my daughter's ex started. They loved the money and association when their wallets were full. As a family, we all were very close for almost 50 years. Once the business went under and the money stopped coming in, they associated for a few years but then went bye-bye.
My daughter and I aren't even notified about deaths in the family. We hear from other sources.
Oh....the loving organization that destroys families.
I am pretty much a 22 year ‘Fader’.
I never had family in the JW religion and very few friends or even people I liked. I was soft-shunned while I was active in the religion because I had a full-time job. Maybe some elderly were friendly towards me. Over the years when I was in stores I may have encountered JWs here and there.
The responses I got varied from people saying hello to uncomfortable smiles or pretending not to see me. I was used to this sort of thing. In fact, I accept that these people didn’t like me because I didn’t ‘fit in’ because I worked and didn’t ‘pioneer’ or do favors for Users. What I would NOT accept, however, is any of them coming near me Now asking for money! ..There’s a price to be paid for having policies like they have.
I stopped going to meetings about 17 years ago, but after I exposed child molestors in my hall to sisters calling on my door the elders were around pretty quick.
Since then I am am satan to them and only had JW's who have not read the do not call list come to my door or newer elders call me.
All the JW's in my old state and home have shut me out.
Just the other day my ex wife called me to let me know one of her young nephews who had a wife and two children suicided ,when we lived in that state years ago we had alot to do with his JW family both he and his older sister were still JW's. His sister has been married 3 times and she is only about 32. The boys grand father is a JW pedophile and his father had sex (and a child} with his wifes little sister when she was 12 and this crime was hidden by the elders and the parents of the girl (also JW's) from the police years ago.
Because of the closeness to the dead nephew and his sister, I said to my ex that I would go to the funeral normally ,but since I am shunned by all who I once associated with as a JW it would be pointless of me to go and show my support of the dead young man's family. It would make a bad situation worse so I am not going but my ex (left when I did) is going with her brother{a JW) and she is at a loss to know what reception she will get . This religion is really ugly.
