phone call from witness

by livingagain 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • livingagain
    livingagain

    I got a phone call from a jw I met when i moved here 10 months ago. She always sat by herself in the hall and looked so out of it. Well one meeting I mentioned clients and she asked me what kind of clients and I went on th tell her I worked with mental health. She wanted to know how she could get an appointment with the clinic, which led me to invite her to lunch and found through conversation that she had recently come to the congregation because she had left an abusive marriage the same as me. A month or so later I missed seeing her and no one at the hall even noticed she wasn't attending, so i went to the hall where she told me she was from in the next town and there she was with the husband. She had told me some awful abuse stories, him pulling a gun on her more than once, and she left because he had put a knife to her throat,her adult sons intervened and she felt for their safety so she left. Well, when I saw her at the hall in her town I could see she was miserable. She told me the elders said he was coming to the hall, studying and was doing good so she should come back so she did.

    Well, I hadn't heard from her in months and out of the blue she called me this morning wondering if she should have stayed gone because it makes it harder when you go back and things are really no better, you just fool your self. Anyway,she talked about David giving help to Nabal and then he refused to help David so David was going to kill him but Nabalwife Abigail intervened and stopped David. Now she said that no matter how bad Nabal treated Abigail she gave no thought to leaving him so she should be like her and do the same and Armageddon will be here soon so she just needs to endure. Can't believe i talked the same kind of nonsense too.

    I got started and tried to tell her everthing from A-Z on what I've learned about Jw's, told her I quit attending meetings months ago and was now free to make my own decisions and was not going to allow JW"s to rule my life any more. She started rambling on about listening to the faithful and discreet slave and this is Jehovah's orginization and a whole bunch of mindless JW stuff. I finally told her that in the end no orginization is going to save anyone. She made up an excuse to get off the phone when I started talking about JW's sounded scared of me said she had to go. I know I piled it on too thick too soon, I wish I could have slowly eased into it over time, now I don't think she will talk to me again because she is scared.

    I see now just how mind controlled we really were I wonder will she tell our conversation to the JW's and I get a visit because I have not heard from them since I quit going to the hall in August. I wanted to just fade away but if not so be it.

  • whyhideit
    whyhideit

    I compare what happened to you, to the zeal we showed to non-Witness relatives when we first became Jehovah's Witnesses. In the beginning all we wanted to do is talk religion and show them all that they did was wrong. We would hit them with a shot gun of information and all it did was blow them back a few feet, and they ran away. In time we learned, and this lesson works in several parts of life, that only saying a little in the beginning works better. That way the lines of communication remain open, and you can still plant the information you want to share. Funny some times, how those tactics learned in the Kingdom Hall, can be used against them.

    Edited by - whyhideit on 22 December 2002 17:12:22

  • Mary
    Mary

    Living, this woman sounds like she's in serious need of psychological help and I don't mean just with the religion. Any woman that would even contemplate going back to a guy that held a knife to her throat is nuts........don't bother telling her anything bad about the Tasteless & Indiscreet Goat Class, because there's no way she'll believe it. Sad to say but women like this NEED someone, anyone to tell them what to do.....it doesn't matter if it's an abusive husband or a religion claiming to have "the truth", they simply can't handle "being alone".

    If she's willing to stay with knife-man because the elders told her to, then there's no way she's ready to leave the religion as it's probably the only thing she thinks she can trust right now.........until she's ready to get professional help regarding her abusive husband, you'll be talkin' to the wind.........

  • ugg
    ugg

    oh god,,,that is so awful....yeah right,,,he is studying....go back to him....elders are not god,,they are not trained,,,they play games with peoples lives,,,,i feel deeply deeply sorry for her,,,she is in a no win situation....how she must be hurting...

    you did what you could...you were there for her...please don't feel bad about her reaction...you tried...

  • Lefty
    Lefty

    livingagain,

    I see now just how mind controlled we really were

    The lady is only "mind controlled" in YOUR biased mind. Just because apostates prefer to think that way doesn't mean that it's really that way at all. Bias is a terrible disease of the mind. The lady has her legitimate reasons for believing in the Bible and believing that the "faithful slave" is found inside the WTS. Don't feel sorry for her, focus the pity on yourself.

    Yadirf

    .

  • Happy
    Happy

    Lefty,

    I agree with you that people should not be biased for foolish reasons, but when it comes to the WT, if you know how the witnesses operate you couldn't possibly deny that she is being controlled and manipualted. That is how JW's function, plain and simple. Also, out of curiosity, and I'm fairly certain your answer to this will be no because this is by no means an acceptable site ofr those who are "in the truth", are you a witness? Or were you a witness at one point?

    Edited by - Happy_Guy_Of_Goodness on 22 December 2002 23:55:21

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Lefty, aka Yardif, will you at least send flowers to this woman's funeral? Because that is where she is heading. Or perhaps you can ask your wife Lefty what the appropriate response would be. She at least seems to be a sensible and compassionate woman. "In times of distress, we can also offer encouragement or perhaps consolation." WT Nov 15, Page 10, para 4.

  • Lefty
    Lefty

    Happy_Guy,

    are you a witness? Or were you a witness at one point?

    My wife and I both were baptised July 12, 1968.

    Insofar as meeting attendance (with the exception of making a few conventions over the years) I've been inactive for over 2 decades (just like Outlaw and Larc likes to remind everybody here).

    I have my scriptural reasons for being inactive, while still yet claiming to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses (it's related to Daniel 11:35, if you care to know).

    ________________________________________________

    Ignat:

    Or perhaps you can ask your wife Lefty what the appropriate response would be. She at least seems to be a sensible and compassionate woman.

    Thank you, Ignat, I'm sure that she appreciates you having that opinion of her. That's one reason that I married her, is because of those very qualities (plus, I always liked kissing her ... heh heh heh).

    .

    Edited by - Lefty on 23 December 2002 1:1:33

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed

    Lefty/Yadirf, any religion that encourages any woman to remain with a guy that puts a knife to her throat surely has none of God's spirit in them. Any man that encourages a woman to remain in that situation should be tried for accessory to murder, if something happened to her. How can you defend anyone who places a woman in that situation?

    The guy needs his ass kicked, not coddled by religion. Maybe you do too, for defending that decision.

    Lew W

  • Lefty
    Lefty

    DickotaRed,

    If you'll notice, my comments said nothing about what I defended and what I didn't defend.

    The guy needs his ass kicked ... Maybe you do too, for defending that decision.

    Are you saying that you volunteer for the job? If so, then let's get it on, where do we meet?

    Edited because I forgot to sign my name, and don't want you whipping up on my wife.

    Yadirf

    .

    Edited by - Lefty on 23 December 2002 1:37:21

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