ARE YOU a FUNDIE? (quiz)

by Sirona 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

Sirona

OK. Fundies.
I'm sick and tired of them. I'm talking particularly about Christian fundies.
What really grates on my nerves is that these people don't even realise they are fundies. Lets do the FUNDIE thing and "separate the wheat from the chaff" my brothers and sisters.
Please answer the following questions (the fundiometer) :
(note, no ONE answer will make you a fundie, its the combination of answers that may reveal what you are possibly denying...see results chart below)
1. Do you think that your church's interpretation of the bible is the undisputed "right" interpretation? (i.e. you "get" what God is saying in the bible, whereas other types of Christians don't?)
2. Do you find yourself shouting praises at inappropriate times? (e.g. AMEN! and JESUS IS LORD!)
3. If you answered "yes" to the above, has this happened during sex? (with your marriage mate, of course! You are not an evil fornicator!)
3. Do you think that those who do not accept your version of Christ are "going to hell"? (bonus: have you told them they're going to hell? extra bonus: whilst foaming at the mouth?)
4. Do you have a fish symbol on your vehicle? (bonus: do you wave emphatically at others who have fish symbols on their vehicles?)
5. Do you attend church more than once a week?
6. Do you say the word "devil" (or alternatively "Satan") more than once a day?
7. Do you find yourself clapping hysterically when music plays?
8. Do you use circular reasoning? (explanation: "The bible is true because God inspired it to be written....God is real because the bible tells us so....the bible is true because God inspired it to be written...."etc.)
9. Are you anti- harry potter?
10. Do you have at least two friends who wear sandals with white socks?
RESULTS:
IF you answered YES
10+ times. You are a fundamentalist. This means you are one annoying A*shole. It is recommended you try THINKING. Oh, and you do not have all the answers you Pr*ck.
5+ times. BEWARE. You are seriously becoming as closed minded as the true Fundie. Practise the following mantra 3 times a day "I can respect those of other faiths, I can possibly be wrong". If that doesn't work, shut the F**k up because we don't wanna hear your crap.
1+ times. Wake up and smell the coffee, then leave that church before its too late. If you don't belong to a church, well....good. Keep it up!
Sirona
LucidSky

Sirona, why are you taking the 'fun' out of fundamentalism.
LucidSky

3. If you answered "yes" to the above, has this happened during sex? (with your marriage mate, of course! You are not an evil fornicator!)
Oh god. Oh God, Yes!! YESSS!!!!!
3. Do you think that those who do not accept your version of Christ are "going to hell"? (bonus: have you told them they're going to hell? extra bonus: whilst foaming at the mouth?)
Bonus! I tell them they will be sauteed to a crispy black in hell's flames and then tortured by Satan for all eternity. It's only fair since they didn't believe.
4. Do you have a fish symbol on your vehicle?
Do Phish symbols count???
hooberus

OK. Liberals.
I'm sick and tired of them. I'm talking particularly about Anti-Christian liberals.
What really grates on my nerves is that these people don't even realise they are liberals. Lets do the FUNDIE thing and "separate the wheat from the chaff" my brothers and sisters.
Please answer the following questions (the liberometermeter) :
(note, no ONE answer will make you a liberal, its the combination of answers that may reveal what you are possibly denying...see results chart below)
1. Do you think that truth is relative and that there is no undisputed "right" or "wrong"
2. Do you find yourself shouting curses at inappropriate times? (e.g. GOD DAMN IT! and JESUS CHRIST!)
3. If you answered "yes" to the above, has this happened during sex? (with someone elses marriage mate, of course! You are a proud fornicator!)
3. Do you think that those who do not accept your version of "Science" and "philosophy" can "go to hell"? (bonus: have you told them they're going to hell? extra bonus: whilst foaming at the mouth?)
4. Do you believe that you came from a fish and have a Darwin symbol on your vehicle? (bonus: do you wave emphatically at others who have Darwin symbols on their vehicles?)
5. Do you attend philosophy class more than once a week?
6. Do you say the word "Fundi" (or alternatively "Satan") more than once a day?
7. Do you find yourself clasping your hands over your ears and screaming hysterically when Christian music plays?
8. Do you use circular reasoning? (explanation: "Evolution is true because real Scientists say it to be true....Only scientists who believe in evolution are real scientists because the evolution is true ...."etc.)
9. Are you anti- Jesus Christ?
10. Do you have at least two friends who wear crosses and yet don't believe in the message of the cross?
RESULTS:
IF you answered YES
10+ times. You are a Liberal. This means you are one annoying A*shole. It is recommended you try THINKING. Oh, and you do not have all the answers you Pr*ck.
5+ times. BEWARE. You are seriously becoming as closed minded as the true Liberal. Practise the following mantra 3 times a day "I can respect those of other faiths, I can possibly be wrong". If that doesn't work, shut the F**k up because we don't wanna hear your crap.
1+ times. Wake up and smell the coffee, then leave that philosophy before its too late. If you do belong to a church, well....good. Keep it up!
Edited by - hooberus on 17 December 2002 13:4:6
hooberus

My above post was meant to get people to humorously and seriously consider the other side of things. No malace is intended nor do I condone the use of blasphemy and name calling.
Edited by - hooberus on 17 December 2002 13:11:44
Marcos

Hi Sirona,
In response to this and a previous post you made.
I am a fundamentalist Christian. I personally believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God. However, I personally dont attend a church and dont even believe it is necessary. For me, it is one of the things that is a fine thing to do but not a requirement.
I have never found a church that adheres to the true teachings of the Bible.
I am wrong about a lot of things and very willing to study and investigate to see if my beliefs are true. I have investigated, personally, other ways of looking at life. I approached a few, although not by any means all, alternative world views from shamanistic teachings in America and Japan as well as other more organized disciplines like Buddhism.
My experience has led me to conclude that the Christian perspective is the one that best suits me. However, my faith does not lead me to tell others that they are WRONG. We each are responsible for our own chosen course in life. My friends and associates range from Christian to Pagan. Normally, the only time I am interested in discussing my faith is if someone asks me a question. Converting the world is not the Great Commission as I see it.
My only problem is when anyone denies others the right to freely believe what they will. My take on it is that I have as much right to my beliefs as you or anyone else. Being told to shut up because I dont agree with you smacks of watchtowerism as well as a host of other -isms.
I presume you are saying that being a pagan is wrong? What, for that matter, is wrong with choosing to be atheist?
Yes, I think paganism is wrong. But, that is MY take on it. If you wish to pursue that course, it is certainly your right and I would not deny you that option. I think being an atheist is wrong. But, if one never investigates the arguments of atheism, how is it possible to condemn the atheist? Many people, pagans and atheists included, never seem to try to empathize with the reasoning and motivation behind another individuals choice.
I'm sick of fundamentalists condemning something they know very little about.
The same might be said of people who condemn those of us who believe that Bible. Having been in or exposed to the Watchtower hardly qualifies one to comment on what is or is not Christianity.
By the way, lumping pagans with people who "worship stones" or "new agers" betrays your complete ignorance of the whole group of religions that are non-christian.

True, my own direct experience tells me this.
Also, please realise that non-christians are not all immoral.
Also true (based on my on-going experiences).
You paint the picture that those who don't fall into your imaginary acceptable category are debased.

Perhaps that was not the intent of the author of this thread. I dont know because I dont know him.
Despite the hypocrisy of individuals, despite the immorality that is visible today, you might want to consider that sweeping generalisations are of no use (and certainly do not give an accurate picture of those outside of christianity).

Seems to me you also paint with a pretty broad brush. That being said, I find generalizations to be quite useful in understanding general characteristics of people and groups. We all generalize because generalizations do have value. Problem is, when the generalization is applied to the INDIVIDUAL there is a breakdown. Personal example, I am Mexican. There is no doubt that in the minds of most people that fact creates a certain image in the minds of most people (short, dark, lazy, illiterate, Catholic, incurable womanizer, taco-eating loser to name a few ideas I have encountered).
I am none of the above with the possible exception of being short and illiterate (smile).
I think most of us here have been abused and victimized by the organization of the Watchtower any by individuals within (and probably without) that organization. I would, respectfully, ask that we all patiently allow others the same right to free speech that you demand.
On a personal note, I do enjoy your posts. I hope that you will allow me to believe as I wish to believe and that we engage (as a group) in dialog, not bitterness and shunning. I sincerely hope I have not misrepresented any of your thoughts here.
Peace. But, if that is not possible, I am an old man now. I have learned to accept the fact that not everyone will like me or agree with me although I always hope for the best.
Respectfully,
Marcos
DanTheMan

You forgot to ask, do you believe that White Anglo-Saxon Protestants are the Israel of our time, and that America is the Christian promised land?
If "yes" is your answer, are you sickeningly nationalistic as a result of this belief?
Edited by - dantheman on 17 December 2002 18:53:9
DanTheMan

Also, could you rant for hours about the sinfulness of homosexuality? This, in spite of the fact that the man you claim was God incarnate was totally silent on the subject?
(I'm not gay, just an observation)
clash_city_rockers

hooberus,
that was an epic post....
Vivamus

2. Do you find yourself shouting praises at inappropriate times? (e.g. AMEN! and JESUS IS LORD!)
3. If you answered "yes" to the above, has this happened during sex? (with your marriage mate, of course! You are not an evil fornicator!)

Lol, I'm not sure how to rate my answer. "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, YESSSSss" I do, but only during uhm.... sex . But not with my marriage mate, cause I don't have one, so I'm a evil fornicator? ... So, is that a 1, or a 1+ ?
LMAO

ARE YOU a FUNDIE? (quiz)

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