"cleanest Witness community the web has ev...

by the dog 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • SYN
    SYN

    Since many of the posts in this thread have been a bit depressing (with GOOD reason!), let's lighten it up a bit:

    What is the member name you would like to be known as? GOLDMember. Duh.

    What is your real name (first and last)? Johannes Sylvester Stroh.

    What is your gender

    and age? Wouldn't you like to know, Mr. Administrator!

    "Do you believe that the anointed Slave Class has been appointed by the Lord Jesus Christ to guide, direct, and feed the modern day congregation?" Pardon me?

    When were you baptised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Immediately after my Theocratically-approved prefrontal lobotomy!

    Are you now attending our meetings? Hehehehehe.

    What congregation? (country, city, state) See above.

    Are you active and in good standing with your local congregation? Technically, NO.

    Do you participate at the meetings? Yes, that's why they kicked me out! You're not supposed to ask questions! DOH!

    What motivates you to go out in field service? I'm not motivated, so I don't go out.

    Does service play a meaningful part in your life? Oh, yes, there's nothing quite like wandering around harassing peace-loving urbanites for a couple of hours every week so I won't become budgie food any day now!

    What part of this week's Watchtower Study did you appreciate the most? The part where I asked a question and was hurriedly ushered out of the Hall by three Brothers who were a lot bigger than me.

    And what was the title of the article studied? Do YOU remember, trollop?

    What is the first song in the Kingdom Ministry for last weeks meeting? "We're Jehovah's Witnesses" I've still got a headache from it!

    What spiritual goals have you set for yourself? To become a Grand Poombah Apostate. Oh, and to start a stuffed Smurf collection and paint Smurf graffiti on the walls of my nearest Hall.

    What do you appreciate most about being one of Jehovah's Witnesses? The dishcloth on the head requirement for women. That one just cracks me up every time!

    What do you love most about your Heavenly Father? The fact that he hasn't been seen for either 2000 or 4000 years, depending on which Testament you're reading! I always had great parties when my Father went away for a weekend, let alone 4000 years!

    Is there anything else you would like to share with us about your self? Oh yes! Sometimes I post on JWD, which has been referred to by some Witnesses as the "Soddom and Gomorrah" of websites! You can get in touch with me too if you want! Applications from hot Brotherettes are given priority of course

    Do you hold any position in the congregation? Yes, Missionary, with the Circuit Overseer's Wife.

  • bittersweet
    bittersweet

    [email protected] crack me up!especially with the lobotomy answer......hee hee hee (oh yeah,and the missionary too)

  • CoonDawg
    CoonDawg

    Hey, Beans...

    What name did you post under? Just wondering because I'm sure I probably saw some of your posts.

    CoonDawg

    and yes, CATZ is a doorknob. He thinks that place is his little fifedom. I had a go around with him and they deleted me, but one of the other managers reinstated me because she likes my sense of humor.

  • Beans
    Beans

    Coon, I wanna get reinstated and get all those e-mail addresses so I can send out a PHAMPHLET!

  • CoonDawg
    CoonDawg

    I'm pretty sure I know what your name was there. I won't make you say it here..lurkers and all. but feel free to email me, i believe my addy is in my profile.

    CoonDawg

  • LDH
    LDH

    LOLOLOL.

    You might have a hard time convincing me, if I had never been a JW, that those remarks were made about Los Ketchup....except that I have a crystal clear memory of comments made in the early 1990s.

    Syracuse and Rochester NY assemblies. If anyone remembers the song by Kris Kross "JUMP"....it was announced from the platform that the words "Mack Daddy" meant "prostitute" in French!!!!

    LOLOLOL!!!!

    Oh the horrors!!!!

    (Of course, the fact that it is entirely untrue is beside the point.) I tried to tell my parents that it wasn't true, but of course, the FDS knows waaaayyyy more than me. LOLOL!!!

    That song was considered DEMONIZED from that point forward.

    How #*%&ing stupid can you be?

    Lisa

    Some of them try to rhyme but they can't rhyme like this, Class

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