Just Sharing a couple of experiences I heard in the last day or two about ones leaving the Borg.

by Crazyguy 14 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Crazyguy

  I was having breakfast with a friend and former JW just yesterday and he informed me that the place we were eating in is owned by a former witness. The story goes as he tells me that the wife and husband or on the outs and getting a divorce. Now just so you know the state I live in, a divorce is not quick, mandatory waiting period etc. . Anyway the elders new the couple was having problems. When they elders finally came around to offer counsel, the brother informed them that it was to late they had already divorced. This is one of the main reasons this brother told my friend why he is no longer a practicing jw, so much love and all.

  Then today I run in to a old friend and after a while he tells me he no longer goes and here is his story. His wife is pressuring him to become more of a spiritual head and he's not complying the way she wants so she leaves him. He then creates a friendship with another woman but not physical never lays a had on her. Anyway the wife gets her privileges taken away for two months because she left her husband with out scriptural grounds, he gets disfellowshipped for I guess one would have to call it brazen conduct now. So with that he also no longer goes. He also told me his sister was disfellowshipped over 30 years ago for having premarital sex and a child and his father still will not talk to her. So much love in the Borg, anyway its fun running in to people or hearing stories how people are dropping out of this cult like crazy.
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  Bigdummy

  In regards to your statement about the elders showing up too late after the couple had

  already divorced. We had a young sister who was a pioneer and she had some difficulty

  with a couple of other young pioneer sisters personality wise. She became unhappy

  about working with them so she approached an elder. He told her that he and another

  elder would come to her house and encourage her. She waited a couple of weeks and

  asked if they were coming. He said yes so she waited a month and they never came

  and never said why they did not come. She got off the pioneer roll. Evidently ( I always

  liked that word) it wasn't a big deal for them.
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  joe134cd

  It's seems ironic how these same elders are prepared to spend hours knocking on empty doors and yet couldn't spend an hour just to come around out of concern.
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  FreeGirl2006

  Even when they do show up it is rarely encouraging. My marriage was in the trash can right from the get-go so I asked for a "shepharding" call. What we got was a visit where I was told all the marital trouble was my fault because I went to work full-time (I had moved to another state when I married so I took a month off before finding a job to get settled in with first time marriage and being a full-time step mom). Now when this call came, I was the sole breadwinner for the family as the hubby had been laid off. I asked if they were going to pay the bills and support us. Guess I didn't win any friends with the eldubs that day.

  Fast forward a year or two. We moved back to my state and home congregation. I asked repeatedly for a "shepherding" call. We got one about 5 years later when I told the hubby I was leaving if something didn't change in the marriage. One of the many issues was the lack of sex. Hubs brought the eldubs to the house to discuss my lack of scriptural grounds for leaving. I brought up the issue of no sex (hubs thought I would be too embarrassed to do so) and we were told that we just needed to go on a long weekend without the kids. No scriptures read, no empathy, no asking the obvious question of why he was not wanting sex (answer: he was too exhausted from his girlfriend(s) ), and I was told that it was my fault for not being a better JW. I got up from the table and said I was through with the encouragement and left the room. With love, kindness, compassion & advice like that who needs marriage counseling?

  I am sure many people can thank eldubs like that for our exodus from the cult.
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  3rdgen

  Freegirl, "I am sure many people can thank eldubs like that for our exodus from the cult"

  Very true. I would like to say that the screwy doctrine set me free but noooo I wasn't willing to scrutinize until loved ones and myself were brutally mistreated by HQ and their ruling class. Had they been the least bit loving I would still be captive to the cult. ((((shudder)))))
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  umbertoecho

  This was my shepherding call.................A text message from the elder asking how I was.

  I sent back a text asking him if that was the best he could do. No reply.

  I couldn't believe it.
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  rebel8

  she had some difficulty with a couple of other young pioneer sisters personality wise

  Why would a grown adult need pastoral counseling for this?

  I'm sorry--maybe I've been away too long to understand it as others do.

  umbertoecho, I'm not understanding yours either, sorry. You gave him a snotty reply. It's unusual in the borg but it sounds like that guy actually had common social skills and realized you were telling him to buzz off.
  
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  WingCommander

  The best "loving" Elder message I ever got? About 3 days before my terminally ill mother was about to die from a failed liver transplant, I called up the COBE to ask him if he could come "Shepherd" my dying mother, to offer some sort of words to comfort her, scriptural support to my family, etc. This was at 7pm on a Wednesday evening. I was alone in my car, in the parking garage of the University Hospital. He bluntly told me that I was interrupting his supper, asked what he thought he should do about it, and then told me that I should contact the local Elders at the local Congregation in that area (she went to a JW-approved hospital in the next state for "bloodless" organ transplant), and have THEM (complete strangers) come Shepherd us. He then hung up. I was left with tears in my eyes, and my jaw on the floor, looking at my cell phone. After 25 years, THIS was how my JW mother in good standing was being treated? How I was being treated? F*ck them. I never heard from that man again. He didn't come to my mother's funeral either. That's ok; I went to his funeral a year later to "pay-back" the lack of respect we were shown. Jehovah apparently didn't protect and look over him as he died in a construction accident.

  Karma as far as I'm concerned.
  
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  3rdgen

  WingCommander, What a horrible experience. Your grief was compounded instead of lessened by the "Spirit directed" "loving" organization. ((hugs))

  Similar things happened to my family. A big thank you goes out to the cavalier, callous, unjust, egotistical, sanctimonious, selfish, heartless cowards who pushed daughter,hubby and me out the door.
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  steve2

  Umbertoecho, if anyone sent me a text asking how I was and in my reply asked is that the best he could do, I really wouldn't be surprised if he did not reply after that. You may well have wondered about his intentions in texting you with his question in the first place, but your sarcastic response made it worse. And, as you say, he did not reply.