You too, invent your "new light"

by coalize 21 Replies latest social humour

  • coalize
    coalize
    I had this idea of topic when John Aquila made me laugh in one of his post when he said :
    NEW LIGHT!
    The Governing Body has the right to have sex with all the new virgins that get baptized before they get married.

    And then I've decided to open this topic to ask this (stupid but funny) question : If you was in the GB, what's the "new light you will want to fight for?
  • coalize
    coalize

    my new light : "You are anointed if you pretend to be anointed"

    Ah fuck, it's already the case!

  • purrpurr
    purrpurr

    I would have instead of theocratic min school. I would have a school training people in objective thinking and have people using outside sources for study.

    But if you want a joke, I'd have a rule that all the bro's and sis's were now to wear the same clothes as worn in Jesus day. I mean dresses for men with sandles, beards etc... I'd like to see how many converts they would get after that!!!

    Also how about imitation of Jesus at the temple? Once a month publishers could be commanded to go into their local banks and churches with whips and trash the place as much as possible while shouting "encouring" scriptures!

  • coalize
    coalize
    LOL purrpur... you killed me with your jesus-style fashion! :D
  • oppostate
    oppostate

    New light.

    Every time the words Governing Body are mentioned in a meeting all the publishers are to bow their heads and say Holy Governing Body.

    As to what i might say... probably "Holy crap!" instead.

  • coalize
    coalize
    it's not already the case?
  • Village Idiot
  • millie210
    millie210
    oppostatean hour agoNew light.
    Every time the words Governing Body are mentioned in a meeting all the publishers are to bow their heads and say Holy Governing Body.

    Can we make this a drinking game?

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    34 Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 35 If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church. - 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 New International Version

    ...................................................................................+

    4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5 But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved. 6 For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. - 1 Corinthians 11:4-6 New International Version

  • Lieu
    Lieu

    If anyone let's out a "silent killer" during a meeting, they shall immediately stand and confess their flatulence before all.

    In an effort to show our brotherly love more earnestly, all time slips shall henceforth be taken out to the lot and burned with fire.

    If a member makes a mess, he shall clean it up. There is to be no more covering by others (females) the transgressions of dirtballs (males).

    Any CO or DO who is too lazy or prissy to cut their grass, wash their car, or other household chore will be deemed a bad example and bad association. He will be dealt with swiftly.

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