This should be a fun thread.
One of the funniest things I can remember out in "Service" . Was 2 other guys and myself in a car. So we take turns going to the door alone. Well Brother Elder gets out, (his turn to go alone) The other guy and myself are watching him take his turn as the house is directly in front of us.
Bro' Elder w/ bookbag in hand, goes up on a large deck on the side of the house, and tied on a leash & cable runner, is this kinda large dog. He's not barking so the Bro Elder approaches. As soon as he gets to the door on the deck the dogs starts jumping up, going all around him, sniffing the brothers ass like there's no tomorrow. He was relentless. The guy's knocking on the door, the dogs sniffing and jumping all around, meanwhile the brother is now trying to push the dog away with his bookbag. No luck, the dog continues sniffing the daylights outta this guy. The guys face is beet- red by now because me and the other guy are laughing so hard at this (and he sees us) that we are urinating our pants sitting in the car. Finally the elder comes back flustered and red as a beet opens the door and says "That goddam dog! We almost died form cardiac arrest No one ever did come to the door.
Dismembered