Microphone "Handling"

by SYN 55 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    I carried the microphones at my old congregation ( Canterbury congregation in Markham, Illinois USA for any of you WT lurker fuckheads out there ) and was assigned that lovely priviledge every week.

    I carried the mics for over 3 years every week.

    I have a few favorite stories, but I will share 2 of them and make them brief.

    We had the thick black cords connecting the mics to the sockets in the back of the Hall. Moving that wiring around got irritating from time to time, and one Sunday I got caught in a snag, and proceeded to yank on the cord... I ended up tripping a snotty elderly sister who fell down and busted her head on the corner aisle chair.

    OOPS

    The other story is probably very familiar to any of you who used to carry the mics out there. You had the grouchy or combative people who when you tried to get the mic close to their mouth for them to speak, they would grab the mic EVERY time and yank it even though you were trying to position it for them.

    This one particularly rude sister always got me pissed. She was a pioneer and commented at least once EVERY meeting, and whenever I took the mic to her to adjust it, she would yank on it. She yanked on it so hard that if I didnt give it a little pressure myself, she was going to hit herself with it.

    Well, one Sunday (towards the end of my mic carrying days) I didnt care anymore. She raised her hand to comment, got called on, and I scurried my way to the front for her to comment.

    Sure enough, she went to YANK on the mic stick to adjust it for herself. Only difference is this time I just laxed my grip on it and allowed her to yank it with all her strength.

    She popped herself right in the mouth HARD.

    She never yanked the mic again.

    Side Note: I got taken off mic duty because my sideburns were too long.

    And Ted Jaracz says they "do not go beyond the things written"

    HA! Fuck you Teddy. You look like your nearing death you geriatric old fart.

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    Ha ha ha ha Reborn...

    Ted Jarascz also probably hits himself in the mouth with the microphone when the lackey-servants try to adjust it for him.

    cellmould

  • SYN
    SYN

    Nice revenge there Reborn!

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    great thread SYN. thx fer the laffs.my favorite line was:

    It's so important to Jehovah that these microphones are carried around only by baptized Brothers in good standing.

    oh, and i laffed my ass off that someone other than me has trouble spelling the word
    privledge privilege.speaking of "privileges" that reminds me of how funny it strikes me anytime i try to 'splain to a non-dub about the dub world and 'losing yer privileges'...they go "privileges?...like what kind of privileges? what do you mean?" and i go "uhhhh, like, uhhh. carrying around the microphone, no wait, i wasn't allowed to do that anyway....uhhh, commenting...and uhhhh....DOH....GOOD QUESTION!!"

    privileges schmivileges.

    SPAZ
  • LDH
    LDH

    bttt for some good laughs.

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    I wonder whatever happened to Monkey_Iron_Foot?

    Pope

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze

    I always thought Microphone handeling was a euphamism for masturbation ... but then I have a dirty mind

    Anton

    Edited by - coolbreeze on 22 October 2002 1:12:27

  • Pleasuredome
    Pleasuredome

    well its just part of the control system they employ, to give you jobs and make everyone think that its a privilege to have that job so when you dont tow the party line then they remove those jobs from you to put you in place and make everyone see that you've been a naughty boy.

    i saw this for what it was when i first learned about these so called privileges. so i never asked to have any jobs and neither was i asked thankfully. mind you i would never wear a suit jacket so that may be the reason why i was never asked, which is such a no-no and gives the impression of being independent-minded.

    i always liked to stand out and be different anyway.

  • shera
    shera

    Reborn, good one.LOL

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    Have you ever been sitting there minding your own business or day-dreaming when the mic was passed to you. It made me jump out of my skin!!! Seemed me scratching my head was enough to get me volunteered, and I guess it's a good job I don't go to auctions.

    ... good job the answer was "Jehovah"

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit