Just told my JW parents Im pregnant!

by kat7302 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • kat7302
    kat7302

    Hi all

    To those of you that followed my last thread about my shock pregnancy, I asked my Jw parents to come round after the meeting tonight so I could tell them. I was so nervous because Im not married and the first time I told them (this is my 4th!) they were not too impressed.........

    THEY WERE FINE! in fact, they were lovely. My partner is a close friend of my dads (he used to be a mini servant/almost an elder!)...but no lecture, no nothing..they were just supportive and loving! What a relief!

    In all honestly tho, it kinda makes me feel really guilty about the stuff Ive posted on here. Dont get me wrong, its all true but I dont want to paint a picture of these people who are terrible parents etc etc.....I do love them to bits and would never want to be without them but everytime they do something right by me, it makes me feel guilty for ever slagging them off in the first place. Am I alone in this???????

  • Valis
    Valis

    kat, the onus is not on you to feel bad about standing up for yourself and making them see thier own lack of love. My parents are lifetime JWs and didn't even speak to me much until I had thier first grand children. Its unfortunate that the catalyst for getting them to display loving kindness has to be a child, instead of it being evident in EVERY aspect of life. Don't feel bad, feel vindicated.

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    I agree with Valis and you shouldn't feel guilty for things THEY have done to YOU!!! Just remember that.

  • kat7302
    kat7302

    Yeah I guess you're right. Its just that when things arent going great, its easy to come on here where most of the people are faceless but have an understanding and just rant about everything. I just think that Ive gone along with the negativity to the degree that I havent really said anything nice about my family! I just dont want to give the impression that my parents are these heartless, ruthless people becuase they're not. They are JW's and their actions have reflected that all my life, no I dont agree with it and my life has been more than complicated sometimes because of this but they do love me.

    I guess sometimes they can suprise me. I was expecting the JW lecture and when I didnt get that but instead love and support, I couldnt help but think about some of the things Id written on here in the last few days. Again...they are all true but have I really achieved anything by airing these negative things about them? You're right about one thing though....i do always harbour the guilt for everything. Cant seem to shake it.

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed

    Kat, I am very pleased that it went so well. I hope things stay going well for you. It is a lot less worry on you right now. With a new baby coming, you don't need more worry.

    Lew W

    Watchtower Decruit

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    You are lucky. When I got pregnant I spent the entire time being called a whore by my father. As I was fixing up my current home to make it liveable as it had holes in the floors and was generally worth burning down, I lived in a small 6'x10' gutted out travel trailer and was locked out after dinner time (6pm) from the house and if I had to go pee I had to pee into a bucket. You try peeing in a bucket and being very pregnant and to top it off having toxemia with blood pressure that was 117/110 and being called a whore and a slut each and every time your father saw you. And of course after she was born everything magically got peachy.

    Count your blessings.

    Ignore me, life sucks and i feel like venting...

  • kat7302
    kat7302

    DakotaRed......

    Yeah, thanks for that! It was a relief and you're right, it is one less thing for me to worry about. phew!

  • kat7302
    kat7302

    Mrmoe....

    Feel free to vent if you need to, this is the place for it. As regards the .......

    "you're Lucky"

    I think if you read some of my threads and posts you'll see that Ive been anything but lucky in life. I just felt that it was nice to be posting something positive for once about the JW's as everything on here is negative (and for good reason!) I do class myself lucky at having 3 beautiful children and now a VERY UNPLANNED 4th but as regards my upbringing in general...not so lucky Im afraid.

    Without the long drawn out story.........Ill give you some highlights

    Second thoughts...no I wont! Its too depressing but if you wanna find out, just read some of the threads. In response to your situation....that sounds like an awful time you went through and I agree that when the baby comes along it does seem to be a magic healing process! Never quite got that one but I suppose you can look on it that your child will never have to go through anything like that.

    Life doesnt suck though unless you let it. Venting can definatley help and if you do check out the threads youll see Ive done my fair share of that! Im not suprised you get down considering what you went through, I hope that you came out the other end and have a beautiful new life in your daughter now that somehow makes everything worthwhile.

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    Kat7302. two thunbs up for you.

    Guest 77

  • JT
    JT

    JW or Not-- women need to be careful how they give up the "Coochie"

    cause in most cases it will be the woman who will have to struggle while the man is off to the next stop-

    I could care less about the "Sinning" for that is a joke anyway, but just from a practical , emotional, and $$$ standpoint- women need to choose thier LOVERS carefully-

    In the Black community I see so many good women who got taken in by Smooth Harry promising them the world - just to get the "Coochie" and afterwards - they couldn't get a phone call-

    so ladies do as you please, but be careful cause every man who tells you how beatiful and how fine you are don't neccessaryly mean it-

    we had a group of former jw over at our house recently and many were single women who while in the org couldn;'t get no Loving- but now that they are out they can love who every they want to and for many of them that is what they did

    as one lady said i was a virgin in the org and I was giving away as much "Coochie" at the club and on the job as I could - only to realize that it might not be the smartest route to take- so she reexamined her self and here reason - found her a good man and is doing well

    so many of our dear sister are never told how to find a man beyond wt qualifications which are:

    1. attends all meeting

    2. out in service reg

    3. reaching out for mike handler, etc

    yes a good society man-

    so when they leave wt these are the only qualifications they have as a ref and now they reject these of course and many times they are left with a PLAY IT BY EAR type qualifications

    and for far to many of these good , decent, solid women they end up going for the first man they meet

    as one sister said here at my house

    James, I am 46yrs old and single never had a man at the Hall tell me i was beatiful, then I leave wt and every man i walk by tells me I'm fine. As she said ---it is like what Whitney Houston said in the movie "Soul Food"

    " MY BODY NEEDS THIS"-- smile

    but be careful ladies glad to see you get out of the Male control wt, but be careful for as James Brown said "It's a Man's World" and for too many men they feel that women are disposal product

    Used them and when finish throw them out- and when that happens the emotional hurt from what i have seen in talking and dealing with former jw women who find themselves caught up in such a situation

    IT IS PAINFUL -

    but hey ladies we love you all -

    my wife is so happy that now she no longer feels that somehow god will dog her for speaking her mind to a Man,

    Freeedom is a wonderful thing

    james

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