There I was, enjoying a lovely warm morning in sunny Winscombe in deepest Somerset whilst working on a clients roof, when out of the corner of my eye I espied 3 ladies sauntering up the road at a leisurely 0.5mph.
Aha, I thought, that looks like The Pioneer Crawl, there's dubs on the horizon!
I had my car parked in the customers driveway, so I thought to myself "Why not take a break now, sit in the car and munch my BLT, and see if they approach?".
Sure enough, after a few minutes 2 of the 3 strolled up the driveway, where I was sat in the drivers seat with the door open and my legs outside, blocking off their access. They walked up and began a conversation. This is how it went, they are in red.:
Good morning!
Mornin' my deario.
Are you the householder?
No, I be a-workin' fer em, they bain't 'ere.
Well that's OK, we talk to workmen too.
Ooo!
I'd like to give you these 2 magazines to read.
Orl right my luvver..ah! (Switches from English yokel to academic mode) Oh dear oh dear, you have been getting some bad press lately, haven't you?
Er.. we have? Why.. what..who...?
About all these paedophiles that you have in your church! I just watched an American programme called dateline that showed there were lots of paedophiles in the Jehovahs witnesses.
Oh come on, if there were paedophiles they would be thrown out! We're not like the catholics you know!
Ah well, according to the programme that I saw, they could only be thrown out if there were 2 or 3 witnesses to the offence.
Well..I..(here you could see a light being switched on in her mind) er...umm..yes well, most of these cases are caused by children who just want to put someone down, they make these claims out of spite!
Oh, I see.
And off they went.
Englishman.
Edited by - Englishman on 27 June 2002 14:11:14