Clearing Things Up

mindfield

No, this isn't another childish Photoshop prank.

In the past day(s), probably many of you have noticed the facility that I had to lash out unnecessarily at other people. I've insulted people who came to support me, I've embarassed myself, gone into arguments that I couldn't win, made a pretty flagrant face-about, and generally, made an ass of myself. And for that I'm sorry.

To tell the truth, the last day (s) has/ve been a nightmare of sorts. I feel bruised, battered and broken. I'm angry and pissed at the world, and yet I'm saddened and depressed. I feel like if someone tore me apart into tiny little pieces, looked back, and then spit on my remains. I'm a mess in what concerns my emotions right now, and I don't know when I'll recover. Sometimes, there comes a moment where you realize that one of your hopes, one of your dreams was nonsensical to begin with, and that you've been completely wrong about another person from the start. I feel like the most childish, biggest piece of crap this earth has ever begotten.

So, once again, I ask for forgiveness to all those that I may have offended or needlessly insulted (you probably know who you are), and I thank those that have already forgiven me. How much time it will take me to recover, I have no clue. It doesn't seem as if it's going to happen anytime soon. You deal with the blows life gives you, I guess.

All of you, take care....

Wendy

Mind,

Awww ((((hugs)))) to ya. I will tell you that it is a sign of maturity to admit to your mistakes. You are still young and learning, I for one forgive ya. Life is hard for all of us, and when we are deeply involved in this online life we tend to take it out on those here. I cannot tell you the benefits of turning off the PC and enjoying REAL LIFE!

I hope all works out for you, and remember that we all have problems, perhaps that will help you next time before a quick response is made?

wendy

joeshmoe

I don't know you Mind, but from what I've seen over the last few days...

You Rock!

hillary_step

Mindfield,

These discussion Boards can be very traumatic emotionally when exchanges become heated. Remember though, that they are not the 'real world'. In reality most conversations would not reach the levels of intensity and concentration we expect from a Board exchange ever, as people would back-off from each other before the verbal battering stage...lol

My only puzzlement is that I see so many highly intelligent, creative and imaginative young people on this Board, spending many hours involved in threads and exchanges that are imho rather facile, instead of funneling these creative energies into something that will be of some use to this on-line community.

You know the type of thing, 'Can You Help Me With My Shattered Life' - 6 posts, 'Should A Girl Swallow Sperm' - 453 posts.

Best regards - HS

mindfield

Hillary,

Oh, if only my problems only revolved around this public forum. Then it wouldn't be near as bad. I'm not feeling like this because of a couple arguments. This is something completely separate from this whole public forum. This involves real life. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to tell you the details. I just want you to know that this involves my real-life feelings, my real-life emotions, and my real-life life.

LittleToe

Chin up, Mind.

You just know it's going to get better and that life will go on...

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon...

Sentinel

Dear Fellow Human Being,

Congratulations for having made a giant leap in the department of self growth. We all have these turning points in life. We tend to blame everything on ourselves. Although we are responsible for some of the major decisions in our life, we were probably also being influenced from input from all directions. This can not only be upsetting, depressing and confusing, but it can lead to major stress and health problems.

This simple statement really does have merit. "Today is the first day for the rest of your life".

I am writing you telling you this, when not too long ago, I was very desperate emotionally. I carried such a heavy weight of regrets. At 55 years of age, my life had gone through so many periods of pain and heartache. I have especially suffered in the area of rejection and abandonment. Several years ago, I began looking at the little speck in the universe that was me. I began began weeping and speaking outloud, "alright, god, or whoever you are, sure I made some mistakes, but I never intentionally hurt anyone. I've tried to do good things, and still crap follows me all my life. Obviously, I'm doing something wrong. I need a little help here, I can't go on like this...." Maybe I had just reached my point of no return, but something happened to me. I didn't feel alone anymore. I began to feel hope. I got myself up out of that self-defeating rut I was in, and started putting one foot in front of the other. I pleaded to the beings who made us all, to help me, and I could feel that I wasn't alone.

You aren't alone either. You are a wonderful beautiful creation, just gropping alone like the rest of us. We all have our individual journies to fulfil. You are right where you are supposed to be.

Please take care of yourself. Do things that make you happy. Think good thoughts, and push the negative aside. Work toward all things good. It is there that you will find the true light of understanding.

You have many friends here!

Love and Light,

Karen/Sentinel

mindfield

LittleToe and Sentinel,

Thank you immensely for your kind remarks and encouragement. Even though it will take some time, I know that there's some light at the end of the tunnel, and that all is not lost. I need to get my mind off things, to have fun, to enjoy life. And although enjoying myself might be only a temporariy distration from my true feelings, it's probably better healing that simply sitting around and thinking about what could've been.

Thanks again.

Guest 77

Take a walk or engage in some wholesome activity and reflect on the good that you have done to others. You have asked forgiveness from others now forgive yourself.

Guest 77

tdogg

Forgivness is not a christian quality. You WILL burn in hell young man. Of course thats only after merciful God destroys your physical body in some horrible terrifying manner.

Clearing Things Up

Share this