I was 17 year old girl whenI was grilled about the details of losing my virginity. One Elder rubbed my feet and said certain parts of our feet are connected to other organs of our body. He told me to rub my feet to relieve myself of my problems. The other two elders just sat there. Strange
Okay now the questions that comes to my mind is this why didn't the other Elders say something in regards to this behavior of the elder ? If it was me, would of pulled him out of the meeting to privately ask him. WHAT are you doing ?! and then read him the riot act. So by the inaction of the other elders, they were approving this person's actions and they themselves aligned themselves as abusers.
None of these people apparently have any counseling background. An by this contact this elder was sexually abusing this young woman. It is quite obivious that he got off on his foot fetish. While a young woman was quetioned in a sexual nature; about what happen in her sexual relationship. Which should of been a private matter, and handled by a counselor, parent etc, and help this child who yes made a mistake, who gave in to desires of the flesh, and help her or him go on.To tell him or her to sin no more would be like telling someone to hold their breath, we are imperfect.
Details are not necessary to determine that sex has occured. The point of the matter is to counsel the young... not sexually abuse them. An the counsel should be a helping situation not a destroying one. It should be up lifting not demeaning.
It is ill what they ask behind closed doors. Besides that I am sure there is gossip. It is not anyones business what happens between someone sexually unless this person specifically asks for help and even then they don't have to go into gross detail or blow by blow discription.
Especially if it is a rape situation. All that accomplishes is to re victimize the person. There should be a law in regards to having a certified counselor available in that has to be present in "counseling" of Church Members, KH., etc. ANY religious affilation. That way it is an accountablity of the leadership to treat these people with dignity they deserve in the first place.Or force the organization to change.. by hitting them in where it hurts. In thier pocket book, thier accountablity within the eldership, and make sure they are not allowed to victimize anyone EVER again. So they cannot place people in more mental agony and emotional agony than they were already in; in the first place whent they approached the eldership for help. An that the people who turned to them to get the help they sought in the first place w/ compassion now be able to get help and perhaps not turn to sucide or drug, drink to drown out thier pain.
But I am getting ahead of myself ... there has to be compassion to tap, before it could be given.
This whole thing is sad. Period. I know that there was gross gossip when my mom was D/f. Speculation, rumor etc. ran rapant. An no one stopped that slander against a "brother or sister". Has that ever happened to someone else ?
Xandria