NEWS: Governing Body Welcomes New Members

slipnslidemaster

Governing Body Welcomes New Members
Friday, May 17, 2:34pm ET

BROOKLYN HEIGHTS, NY (AP) - The Governing Body of the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses (formerly the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York) named four new members to their ranks yesterday according to a press release.
Samuel Herd, the body’s first African-American member; Guy Pierce; Steve Lett; and David Splane joined the secretive group after the death of Governing Body liaison to the United Nations Lloyd "Wild Beast" Barry died.

Long time members report that the four "kids" as they are referred to, being some 30 years younger then the remaining members, were welcomed to the reclusive group by the traditional initiation of changing 144,000 light bulbs in the massive Patterson, NY complex and eating strained peas without a spoon.

The "kids" also spent the weekend practicing their water to wine skills and trying to avoid getting pantsed by Teddy "Tex" Jarecz.

Showing his signature sense of humor when asked during a phone interview Monday how he liked joining the reclusive group, Samuel "Bling Bling" Herd just wanted to know "where da bitches at?"

Watchtower spokesman J.R. Brown could not be reached for comment.

Slipnslidemaster:"There are no facts, only interpretations."
- Nietzsche

Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America

riz

slip these are a riot!

Showing his signature sense of humor when asked during a phone interview Monday how he liked joining the reclusive group, Samuel "Bling Bling" Herd just wanted to know "where da bitches at?"

i laughed so hard i peed a little bit

Pathofthorns

Showing his signature sense of humor when asked during a phone interview Monday how he liked joining the reclusive group, Samuel "Bling Bling" Herd just wanted to know "where da bitches at?"

I had a good laugh at the "where da bitches at?" line. You redeemed yourself pretty good at the end there... LOL

Path

Gopher

Can J.R. Brown ever be reached for comment? LOL

-J.R.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.--Will Rogers, 1879-1935

teenyuck

LOL!!

zev

SAM HERD???

sheeeesh.

that guy gets around. last i knew he was just a d.o.

now he's a ringleader in a 3 ring circus. nice going sam. maybe you can teach me the ways of the "world" heh?

btw, i know this is a joke. but it is funny, when i saw that name....he WAS my d.o. up until i left massachusetts, right around the same time he was being reassigned. his "term in office" had expired.

and he was boring as hell with his talks.

i got lots of sleep at my cicuit assemblys

Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America
U.A.D.N.A.--Rhode Island

DB

Maybe JR has the same problem that Baal had in 1 Kings 18: 27...perhaps he "is concerned with a matter, and he has excrement and has to go to the privy".

accuracy

Showing his signature sense of humor when asked during a phone interview Monday how he liked joining the reclusive group, Samuel "Bling Bling" Herd just wanted to know "where da bitches at?"

That is racist stereotyping at its worst. All hail to your enlightened egalitarianism. Not!

Satanus

Accuracy

I invite you to have a glass of wine.

SS

one

"and he was boring as hell with his talks."

Now i got an idea how he qualified for GB.

NEWS: Governing Body Welcomes New Members

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