I won't try to appear to be anything; I shall be myself from now on - whatever that may be. Now that I look back, I was far more real than most JWs (and many told me they appreciated that), but still, I played along at times and wasn't totally real.
Show them that we are happy, our lives are fulfilled and positive.
If we aren't happy, though, then we are being fake to try to appear that way. I actually could be a very happy person, but I will never be truly happy and satisfied as long as long as others are suffering. I think a lot of people are not aware of the extent of suffering in the world among humans and animals. I won't go into the details of that now because that would veer this topic off course. But the point is, I myself am a very good-natured, emotionally stable person, but I think everyday of the horrors of this world. Just knowing there's a set of starving kittens somewhere in the world disturbs me. I've seen it before; it's horrible... heartbreaking.
So I will never 'show them that I am happy'. I 'sigh and groan' (Eze 9:4) over the horrors of this world. I fault JWs for appearing so happy as in the 2014 Atlanta International Convention video. I feel that they should be more concerned about suffering and should be doing more about it rather than building fancy buildings and being concerned about 'having the times of their lives'.
Even though I won't try to appear happy before JWs, I will never give them the impression that I drifted because I'm weak and that I need them in anyway; I don't. If they say they miss me, I can honestly say I haven't missed the meetings, etc. one bit. If they offer help, I can honestly say "Don't offer me your help. You always let me do all the dirty work and wouldn't help when I asked for it over and over, so don't offer me help now." They will never get from me the impression that my life is empty because of leaving them, that I somehow need them, but they will also not get from me the impression that I'm totally happy because, as described above, I'm not.
They ruined the prime of my life. I want them to know that. My life is hard now because of my believing and acting upon their false prophecy. I want them to know that. If they want to call me bitter for that, then so be it. If they do, I sure hope they say it to my face because I'd relish the opportunity to argue the point with them. I'm a very logical arguer, and I would not let them change the subject or use any of their diversionary tactics. I would bury them.
So, stuckinarut2, I appreciate the spirit of what you're saying, but that method ain't for me. I left the phoniness behind with the JWs. They're getting the real deal with me.
...OUTLAW