by stuckinarut2 25 Replies latest jw experiences
Just a quick thought...
We know that the org loves to paint all those who fade or leave as "Negative, Bitter and Unhappy"...because of course "the truth is the happiest way to live"
So, never allow ourselves to be that way when talking with witnesses, or family members still in.
Show them that we are happy, our lives are fulfilled and positive.
Then they have no ammunition. Also, it helps other doubters to see that there is life in the world beyond the org.
So, now we should pretend that apostates are the "happiest people on earth"?
No, thanks.
I would advise folks to work on their issues, don't dwell on the past and stuff anger down (which causes bitterness, a useless and destructive emotion), and live life to the fullest.
Also, I agree that a negative attitude towards life is not healthy - but how to NEVER be negative when talking to a JW about their religion? Impossible.
Sometimes we are unhappy - that is reality.
I left the JWS so that I could tell the TRUTH and be a REAL PERSON.
t
stuckin- 100% agree.
I went to Starbucks last Saturday and there were about 15 witnesses outside having coffee. When I pulled up one sister, an elder’s wife, smiled and said “Hi Dazed.” I smiled and said “Hey, hows it going?” Then my kids and I went inside. Her husband was sitting with his back to me when I pulled up. He was the elder that invited me to the memorial the night before via voicemail. I sent him a text message back: “I respectfully decline this or any future invitations.” So I understand and appreciate him not acknowledging me. I always liked him. I just don’t want to give them a reason to bother me.
When I left, my closest friend from the hall who was sitting there, he didn’t see me until I came out, got up and came over while I was buckling my kids in. I didn’t know how he felt about me anymore. He shook my hand and we chatted for a few minutes. He told me he wanted to get together and catch up. I said sure. We still had each other’s phone numbers. I asked him if he was sure. He told me he didn’t care what others thought.
I smile and acknowledge them if they do the same. I understand being bitter. Everyone’s experience in the borg is different. I believe it is much better for them to see me and Mrs. Dazed and the kids happy rather than reinforcing their bullshit belief that apostates are angry, bitter and mentally diseased.
I often get a hug from one other sister that we knew. Most others ignore me. To those who ignore me, I don't go out of my way to be friendly or mean.
Talesin ... you are absoltely right.
If we try to put on a front that we are happy and joyful all the time, we are no better than them, AND people will see right through it.
The best example for us to show them is to JUST BE OURSELVES! Happy, sad, indifferent ... it's all part of life.
Life cannot be lived with just one brushstroke.
I do not see any JWs! If I do I will just walk by them. It is not negative or happy it just is! No one cares after years of not going.
As God said,"I am who I am."
Stuckin, you are right. Being bitter or angry gives them power. Holding a grudge gives the other party power. Being happy and letting go is truly the best way.
Great advice Stuckin. Agree fully. But it's not just about our own personal happiness, it's about taking a stand against an organisation that destroys lives and harms people and children.
Being too daft to be miserable, I exude a cheery happiness naturally, and I can see this somewhat confuses many of the JW's I have spoken too since leaving.
A couple of them have actually asked me outright if I am really "O.K", one M.S even said " But.... you can't be happy !"
I told him I definately was, the only small blight on my happiness was a resentment I feel at the years I wasted in the religion. He hasn't spoken to me since, such talk is a "spiritual danger" to him, he wants to be an Elder.
All of this shows how deep the mind control goes, they simply cannot conceive of anyone being truly happy in "this System", because all JW's feel an underlying unhappiness at present, which they put down to not yet being in paradise, whereas really it is being in the religion that gives them unease and unhappiness.
Mr and Mrs Phizzy and offspring being as happy as we are is actually a challenge to their whole belief system.
I agree with dear Tal above, make sure you actually are not as a person Negative, Unhappy or Bitter.
I do agree with the concept though of not revealing to JW's any little "negatives" there may be about our present life, we all must have some, but no need to mention them.
True...I'm not suggesting being fake or putting on a front.
Im just sayin that because witnesses are trained to think that all who leave must be messed up or unhappy, we can demonstrate that this is not the case.
In fact we are happier since learning TTATT
