First post after a year or two of lurking on this site-Sorry for the length!

by Pattytheperfect1 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Welcome to the forum patty,

    Thank you for your story. Family life isn't always the way it's supposed to be. How is your older brother and your mother? Why don't you reconnect with them?

    I am so sorry for your terrible time.

    Love Kate xx

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Thank you for sharing your life within the very sick cult..

    I dont think Villiagegirl was trying to be rude.I think it made her angry to read of your suffering.
    Sometimes when we explode in anger it comes out wrong. You seem to be doing so well now
    Good for you. I think the suggestion of writing a book,is a great advice.
    I am the OLDEST on board,so cant remember the name of the other newbie that posted on this
    page but said it sounds like that one suffered from abuse also WELCOME to you both
    Glad you joined this "family" I am the Granny,a mouthy one but at 86 ( 87 in May) I am allowed.
    Oh I was a JW for over 25 years before I was kicked out because I didnt see Jesus come invisably

    Mouthy

  • tenyearsafter
    tenyearsafter

    Welcome!

    It's amazing how many variations of this story there are. It is terrible that you had to endure this during your formative years, though it sounds like you have found happiness away from the JW's. I am always amazed at how JW's elevate themselves as being "better" than the world, yet produce as many, if not more, dysfunctional families than the very "worldy" ones they condemn...what a bunch of hypocrites!!

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Welcome pattytheperfect1 ! I am so sorry for what you had to endure through your childhood . You are a strong person ,a survivor . I hope the forum will be a healing place for you to vent and recover . You are not alone ,your story or something very close to it is often repeated by other WT survivors . We now all gain strength from one another ,and our shared experiences .

    Welcome to Buck Rogers ,and the many more that are lurking still not ready to make that first leap into revealing their own story .

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    BUCK ROGERS!!!!That was the name I forgot Welcome Buck.Thanks Troubled mind (HUG)

  • Frazzled UBM
    Frazzled UBM

    Pattythe perfect1 - I am so glad you have a found yourself a good worldy husband and you seem like you have your life together notwithstanding the terrible way in which you were treated by your JW family. The damage this cult has done to people's lives and families is awful. The price your uncle paid for the crime he committed against you was pathetic. He should consider himself lucky not to be locked up. As for your father, well the only thing in his favour was that he was the victim of a cult and so wasn't in his right mind - you are right to be very angry with both men and not to ever have to deal with them again. As for the scum bag lawyer who prevented your mother from getting custody on both occasions - I hope there is a hell and he rots there for eternity. Fraz

  • Pattytheperfectone
    Pattytheperfectone

    I meant to respond much sooner but I had issues with my account and it wouldn't let me sign in. I created a new one when I got around to it and am just now getting a chance to sit and respond. I want to thank everyone for their kind comments. I was just venting, something my husband hears lots of! I was by no means trying upstage or lessen anyone elses life...i've been through a lot but there are tons that have had it just as bad if not worse. I don't feel like I need special attention or praise for being strong because my family is a bunch of jerks. So many comments about how I've been through so much and I'm so strong for coming out ok (from people on here and anyone that happens to hear about my past) and yet I feel so far from strong. I get by, and I enjoy my life but only by pretending that my past doesn't exist. Not the healthiest way of dealing but hey, it works for me...until I'm forced to acknowledge I have a family then I go through a week or two or maybe a month of being moody and kind of mean to my husband (he really is amazing for putting up with me at times!!). Also, so many angry heated comments about my uncle/dad...I guess I shouldn't expect any different but that wasn't what I was going for. I mean I hate him for what he did, I don't want anything to do with him now, but the anger and hate I read isn't how I feel. In fact things my aunt-mom SAID to me hurt and damaged me as much as things he DID to me. Sometimes I feel like something is wrong with me because of that but it's how I feel. I have two parents that abandoned me and two parents that abused me, I have yet to figure out which one hurt me most in the long run. I try not to dwell on it and I really don't hate any of them. As confusing and wierd as it is I can think of good things about each family member, even the ones that hurt me in so many different horrible ways. Not one person is pure evil to me, and no matter what they've done to me they have done other things in their life to help and make other peoples lives better. They will get what is coming to them when god judges them, I find comfort in that. As for my uncle-dad now, he is never alone around kids, and none of my cousin-siblings have little girls so I don't worry about him doing it again. Plus he's a coward. I'm sure some would feel i'm being naive and should 'punish him' by telling the police but that wouldn't make me feel better and I don't feel any of the children he is allowed around are in harms way. And as far as blaming elders, other than the one elder with the stupid insensitive comment, the elders had nothing to do with my problem. I blame no one but my parents, and even through my blame and anger, there is still some sort of wierd affection for them as they are my parents. Just because I care doesn't mean I agree with them or don't hate what they have done but it is what it is. Now if I felt a child was in danger, that's another story. Like my niece, my biological older brothers daughter, that looks just like me when I was little; my grandma has asked me to bring her to visit so she can see her great grandchild but I can't bring myself to put that precious little girl anywhere that my uncle-dad could even set eyes on her. A few asked if I ever reunited with my biological family...the answer is yes. It is akward at times. I have two biological brothers and two half brothers and a mom that I try to have relationships with. My two biological brothers are pretty easy to talk to but after a lifetime apart from my mom and half brothers its hard to be close with them. I love them all, and having the family that loves me UNCONDITIONALLY has made things easier for sure, but it still doesn't lessen the hurt of losing my family I grew up with.

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