by Prisca 97 Replies latest social relationships
DannyBear,
Yes, he was a man of strength, principles, and had real backbone. It wasn't until I reached adulthood did I realize what he had really accomplished. I would love to convey your compliment but he died in 1992. We really do miss him.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
I have written this a number of times to people in various forms and never kept one for later use.
So here I am again rewriting my brief story, my life:
I was born in 1960 in the inner city area of large English industrial city. I am the third child of six siblings. My parents became JW’s just a couple of years before I was born. In some ways the JW religion provided mom and dad an escape from the dull and depressed life style of post WW2 Britain of the 1950’s. When my parents married in the early 50’s mom was only 17 and 3 months pregnant and dad had only recently been discharged from the army having been lucky to do his national service between the Second World War and the Korean war. Although not well off by any means, dad was as a postman, we had a fairly decent upbringing despite being Witnesses.
Like many Witnesses who grew-up in the religion I have many memories of sports stadiums without sports. I attended assemblies in the British Isles, Australia (we lived there for a while too) and the United States. I lived through the exciting pre 1975 years and saw many I grew up with leave school to JW “pioneer” and later struggle to find a decent paying job (youngest brother included). I was a "good" JW growing up, didn't cause my parents too much anxiety. The worst trouble I got in was sky-diving a few times which resulted in a special talk on dangerous sports being given by an elder. I did go to college too but not a full University. It was a sort of half measure and it was still frowned upon especially as I missed one meeting night a week by having to take an evening class.
When I was in my late 20's I took a part time college course human biology. I started questioning a number of things about what the WTS taught on blood, human evolution and creationism. I kept this to myself. I was appointed as an MS shortly after I got married. I was appointed as an elder in 1991(somewhat reluctantly I felt since I had often challenged elders over various matters) and I tried my best to not be like the others. I worked hard at making talks and items interesting. I tried to show appreciation for everyone and for what each one did. In the end I quit (along with another elder) after disagreeing with the elder body over the covering up of wrong doing in the congregation.
Being made an elder was a huge eye-opener and showed me that all was not as it is made out to be in the Witness Kingdom. I applied for a job transfer to the mid-west of the United States early in 1995 not long after resigning as an elder. The opportunity came at just the right time and it enabled me to fulfill a lifelong ambition.
I never felt comfortable in the association of JW's after moving to the US. I started to question a great deal and started reading critical books. Plus in 1996 I had my first chance to use the Internet and after that things really changed. When I moved from an apartment to my own home I stopped attending meetings altogether and never told the congregation I had moved. I now have a fairly open and accepting belief system. I have read a lot more books on theology and the history of the Bible than I ever did as a Witness. I have some conflict with my parents but I am not disowned. Some of my siblings have quit the JW religion as well and we keep in touch regularly.
Of a more personal nature, I am divorced and re-married. My ex-wife left me two years after moving to the US. She was not a very active Witness for most of our married life. She still lives within a few miles of me and we share custody of our son (he's nearly 13). I met the new Mrs. Thirdson in the summer of 1998. We were married in September last year (2000) at an Episcopal Cathedral. My wife’s family came from all over the US to attend, none of my family came...to be fair some could not make it for good reasons. I am involved in a number of volunteer activities, including work assisting the homeless. My wife works for a community help non-profit organization associated with the Methodist Church. I recently changed jobs and am currently employed as a project leader for an International company providing high-tech equipment to the banking industry.
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Edited by - Thirdson on 24 February 2001 15:26:48
Edited by - Thirdson on 24 February 2001 15:33:58
Thank you Thirdson and Lurker,
Very different but very interesting stories. For both of you in appears that the internet had a major impact on you. My wife and I faded away when we got married way back in 1962. It was very difficult then because there was no one out there to give us support. It wasn't until about 1985, that we found out about Ray Farnz's book, which was a wonderful help to us. We attended the first meeting where BCRI was formed and met Ray there. He is as kind in person as the words are in his book. Since then we have attended three other of the BRCI conferences. We always felt very peaceful after leaving them. Met some wonderful people there. Zazu and I just got on the internet about three months ago and are loving the interchange we have here.
Again, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for posting your stories
Thirdson, I gotta love your story and love your wife for working for the community. Continuing our education was never advised as JWs and I am so glad when somebody breaks the chains and does it! I have not gone as far as you Lurker but one day, maybe. I think my children will need me more now. I can only say if I had done it before I had them I would be able to enjoy life better with them. Not constantly worrying if the check at the end of the week will pay the bills and leave anything left for groceries. I did this for too long and refuse to go there again.
So again thank you for posting and sharing a part of you. Every now and then we give you a piece of us right back
wendy
Third and Lurker,
Thanks so much for sharing. I think that ex JW's are shining examples of survivors. And many seem to make the most of their lives. Always makes me feel good to hear about it.
Keep up the good work!
TW
Hey lurker,
Did you ever read my stuff on 401k's? I would be interested in your reaction to this. I have some further thoughts on this subject that could be very useful to you. Please stay in touch.
Lurker,
Thank you very much for the compliment. I really appreciate it.
On the 401k information, I had to go look for it myself. What helps is the search feature at the top of each page here. I put in the word Pascal in the text search and it took me right there. Any unique word can usually get you to where you want to go.
The discussion is under the subject of "RE: confused" It is the last post on the bottom of page one.
Lurker,
How on earth did you find my original bio. It was posted on Dec. 15 on waiting's earlier Hello, Hello thread. I had trouble finding it myself. Hey, Lurker, I and Abe Lincoln had quite a life don't you think?:):):)
Lurker,
I think you will without a doubt find that "special someone" someday. Your obviously intelligent and good hearted, and those are the same qualities you want in a woman, and you will find her. My own wife, known here as Zazu, is one of the brightest women I have ever known. We have been married for 37 years and her conversations are always interesting. I know that you will find a "like minded women" like that.
On the 401k thing, you probably have several investment options. You should eventualy read the book, but on the short run the best bet without research is a Value Fund or a Growth Income Fund.
On the subject of debt. I will borrow money any day of the week at 8% on my house when I take the money and invest it at the market average of 12% and make money on their money. It is called OPM, other people's money. Right now, I am living on credit cards at 15% for a few months so I don't have to pay 30% in taxes, plus take out money in a flat stock market. I love applied math and statistics.
Lurker,
You are absolutely right when it comes to compound intereste curves. What looks like little increases at the beginning, takes off like a rocket later. It is truely wonderful mathimatics.
Now on the Prisoner's Delema, I don't know about the computer simulations. I do know that I used to play a game with my college students called "Win as much as you can". The ten rounds of "tit for tat" in the real live situation, did as I said earlier cause total ruin and some bad feelings among the players as well. I had to debrief them when the game was over, pointing out that I had put them in a "bad system", so they wouldn't go away with great distrust for their fellow students. I played this game in a one week management workshop in Dundee Scotland on a Tuesday. On thursday, one man was still mad at another. One tryed to apologize and the other said, "never mind, I have seen your true colors." This is a very dangerous game with real people.
