Were you always guilt-ridden?

MoeJoJoJo

Did you ever stop feeling constantly guilty while you were in the org? I never did, no matter how much I was doing as far as field service & meeting attendance it never felt like enough.

I never felt like I was doing enough, ever; even though we were at all of the meetings faithfully, with three young children, which was no easy task.

You go on vacation and you feel like you should find the nearest KH to attend.

I would feel guilty that I wasn’t going out in service during the week, so I would plan my days to go out during the week, then I felt guilty if I didn’t auxiliary pioneer the month all the other sisters were making ‘special arrangements’, and it went on and on. You remember the assembly parts where the sister gives her ‘experience’ how she has six children, and she’s regular pioneering and can I arrange my circumstances to do more?

Always the guilt, never doing enough, till I could not handle it anymore. I kept thinking about the scripture where Jesus said his yoke was light and I knew it didn’t feel that way. I was feeling strangled by the WT yoke. I felt that I could not go on anymore-Why was I not happy when I was trying to do all I could?

Maybe it was just me or did all of ya’ll deal with this also?

Now I am guilt free!!! Yippppeeeeeeeee

Undecided

Amen, MoeJoJoJo.

Ken P.

Gopher

I was out to dinner Sunday night --- okay I'll name names, with Harmony and with Lauralisa and her fiance. We were talking about this very thing, and noticing that as JW's we would have felt guilty if we didn't go up and talk to people in the restaurant about the "kingdom hope" (or at least offer them some literature). After all, if we didn't, we'd certainly die at Armageddon and they probably would too!

The guilt is Society-induced, and not from God or the Bible. They set out their "societal norms" of how you are to act and behave in each situation. It is simply impossible to fully live up to, and so we were trained and controlled by such guilt feelings!

I still have a hard time singing "Happy Birthday" to my own daughter! Damn. The old "training" and "guilt" has taken away the joy from even an ordinary, simple pleasure. (Just an example, there are hundreds more examples.)

-J.R.

This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.

moman

The Borg is true piece-a-shit, of course they do this on perpose!

moman

oops, make that "purpose"

NameWithheld

I never was too much. I did my JW 'duties' more out of a sense of obligation, as that was 'what I was supposed to do' and to stay in the 'good' graces of the congo and friends. It never failed that if your FS time suffered, you began to suffer socially as well. But as far as feeling guilty itself, I was blessed enough not to suffer from this too much I think that makes me a 'bad' person

WildHorses

Yes, I always felt guilty. Guilty for not going out in field service as much as they thought I should. Guilty for working long hours to support my children and myself instead of making ALL the meetings. Guilty for loving and spending time with my mother because she wasn't a JW. The list goes on and on.

Lilacs

I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.

MoeJoJoJo

Gopher, you're right singing Happy Birthday is still a little tough, it does feel awkward.

Lady Lee

Guilt? thought that was my middle name.

not only was the borg pushing us to guilt with every edict but my husband - fanatic/elder did everything in his power to increase the guilt to get me to be the perfect little JW with the perfect family and perfect kids - almost killed me all that perfection

Now I would much rather be human and make mistakes - (aka learning opportunities)

Aspire to inspire before you expire

out4good3

I think that the guilt induced trauma that comes from being a dub will always stay with youu. Someone at work today handed me a Birthday card they wanted me to sign. I did take it and sign it with a little note but even then, in the back of my mind was a twinge of guilt.

Too many times I've heard from dubs that that twinge of guilt is what you get when you know you're doing something you're not supposed to as defined by the Organization. But, I found that when I was a dub, I was always feeling guilty about something even when I was trying to do what was right and just in JW circles. Even that good feeling you were supposed to have by sucessfully making all the meetings and assemblies was replaced by guilt having to always listen too "can you do more". I used to sit in meetings thinking "I'm already flat broke wasting time trying to peddle your magazines from door to door...what more do you want?"

It's tough, but I'm working to eradicate all the JW induced guilt trips about doing anything from my life.

Were you always guilt-ridden?

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