Have You Given Up on JW Friends or Family Ever Seeing The Light And Getting Out?

by minimus 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    I'm always hopeful but mostly doubtful that they will get out of her.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I shouldn't give up on them if they haven't given up on me, huh??

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    I am not optimistic about the people I care most about ever leaving the cult. One is a born-in who has known nothing else all his life. I send him e-mail from time to time and get only silence in reply. Another is someone who evidently has been traumatized by my decision to never return to the fold. The cult’s mind control is so very strong that it would take something very dramatic to change my friends’ and relatives’ thinking.

    “Hope springs eternal,” they say. So I haven’t given up, but realism demands that I consider the misfortune of never seeing or talking to them again. I also have to think that while I may suffer a great loss in this case, the freedom I have gained is priceless. I won’t surrender it for a relationship that would not be genuine if I returned to the cult.

    Quendi

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    I think the July 15, 2013 Watchtower may cause them to think hard when it is studied at the hall.

  • jam
    jam

    It,s a stand off. They have given up on me and I see no

    hope for them.

  • gma-tired2
    gma-tired2

    4 close family member all in 60s, 70, & 80s. Decided I will not put stress on their faith. Many more extended family

  • jambon1
    jambon1

    Pretty much, yes.

    On the one hand it gives them something. On the other, I believe it affects people really badly (depression, negative outlook, reducing ones chances in employment).

    I have found ways to cope with the situation.

  • steve2
    steve2

    Why should any of us have an expectation or hope that JW Friends or Family will see the light??

    In my opinion, it would be devastatingly tragic for anyone - not just JWs - to be well into old age and suddenly come to the realization their religious faith is little more than a delusion.

    What purpose would that serve?

    Cannot they see out their remaining time in peace like many other old religious people do? Why should I expect them to reach this realization?

    What purpose would it serve?

    Mind you, if they had come to that realization themselves, that's different - kind of like a late-life existential crisis. But again, it would be monumentally hard for an elderly person to do that. Among other things, they are vulnerable to support from their family and friends and for them to even think about trying to "sort" out their beliefs at that stage in life would be extremely difficult indeed - particularly if their life up until then was characterized by unquestioning compliance with the organization.

    Cognitive flexibility and adaptability reduces the older we become - unless in our earlier years we have become accustomed to questioning, scrutinizing and, ahem, sticking to our principles (which hardly makes you popular in more rigid-minded company ).

    On the other hand, I am hopeful that the organization's influence - especially in the west - is truly on the wane as reflected in decreasing numbers presenting for baptism, reports of increasing numbers of young people fading or overtly leaving etc. That, however, is clearly different from harboring an expectation that specific members of my family will see the light.

    The older people are, the more they have to lose by having their faith shaken and even destroyed.

  • Tameria2001
    Tameria2001

    As far as I'm concernied, I don't give a dam what they do. They are very disfunctional, and even if they did leave it, they are not welcomed around my husband, children, or my home. They put me through hell and nearly came close to splitting my husband and me up, and even made an attempt to kidnap my children once. Thanks, but no thanks. As far as I'm concerned they can live the lie and die in it, and stay the hell away from me.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Tameria:

    I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. If I had a group of JW busybodies try to break up my home and take my children, I would not want them around me either. I would never forgive them.

    Thankfully, I have no family there. So, I am uninterested if anybody wants to stay in the JW religion. I am just glad I got OUT.

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