Girl scout cookies are demonized

by Gojira_101 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • tiki

    when i was in the second grade i came home and told my mother i was going to be a brownie (pre girl-scout).....she told me i couldn't because they make you salute the flag and they are patriotic. i was crushed, of course...the only kid in the class who couldn't be a brownie.....and back then, the little girls all wore their brownie dress on brownie meeting days, and there i was in civilian wonder i grew up to be such a loner.

    as for the cookies, in my adulthood as a jw i bought them....ate them....and never thought twice about it. in fact i probably enjoyed it as a secret revenge.

  • Gojira_101

    Good morning peeps (lol...I just got done reading the "new light" on how peeps are pagan to eat...I'm still laughing on that one).

    Wow I'm surprised I'm at 2 pages already. I love all your comments and they have made me laugh! I needed a good laugh this morning. When I get home later I will be going out to buy me some evil, demonized cookies.

    Actually I'm wondering if I should go buy Kebler Fudge Grasshopper cookies instead?.......Oh wait a minute....Elves make them and use magic to cook them.....We all know Elves are related to Smurfs......bloody hell...I can't eat the grasshopper cookies now!

    What is WTBT$ going to take from me next? Lottery stcrachers?.....Shoot....they already took that!

    Wait I can do "69" with my husband or various "positions"....Shoot, we can't do that either.

    At the next convention I can use two paper towels.....oh shoot, that's right I can only use one....well I can get some chips or candy from the vending machine...dang it! That's right there will be an Attendant guarding it....I wonder if I could get a wind up smurf toy and stand out of sight and set it to where it will walk in front of the attendant to "scare" him away so I can get to the vending machine.


  • Mum

    I think girl scout cookies should be passed around at the Memorial (particularly to the kids) and everyone should partake. Memorial attendance would soar!

  • Newly Enlightened
    Newly Enlightened

    You are all hilarious! My stomach hurts from laughing so hard.

    Thanks alot, now I have to go get some minty, fudge cookies!!!

  • MrFreeze

    We should stop eating Keebler products because they are made from magic elves.

    So hilarious that I knew people that wouldn't eat Count Chocula/Franken Berry/Boo Berry/Lucky Charms because they were demonized.

  • quincy_aka_quentin

    Gee, what a Pandora Box you opened. Now lets see, what else is demonised?

    eggs, they are the embryo of chickens, gotta have blood in them.

    CrackerJacks, will turn you homosexual. Want to play Sailor?

    Dog and Cat food, there's that blood issue again. You know those manufactures are not saddled with the restrictions of food producers.

    Angry Birds, worse than Smurfs, makes your child sullen, angry and mean to small animals.

    Books, or any literature not written by wtbts, sisters get rid of those Romance novels, turn you into a shameless hussy.

    Inter-net, doorway to darkness. Demons on every page, all sites overloaded with them.

    College, full of demons lurking behind doors ready to pounce on any jw who dares set foot on school grounds.

    Music, TV, after school activities, movies, Doctors, medicine. Scary world out there, nothing is sacred, being awash with Demons. All you can do is hunker down in your home amongst stacks of currently approved wt literature, yes, currently approved. Seems those pesky Demons have found a way to infiltrate old publications.

    Make a mad dash to the car while swinging your NWT about like a battle ax. Peel out, drive as fast as you can ( perhaps you can out run the Demons ) to the kh. The Ark of Salvation. The only place that has no Demons, even though you can hear them skid-ling about like small packs of rats, some even calling out YOUR name. You are safe though, in the arms of Jehovah the elders and gb. Oh, and do be careful what you dream, never ever speak of it to anyone, you see a Demon might hear and torment you with nightmares.

  • Balaamsass

    The Mrs bought 2 boxes yesterday! She told me it was the first time in her life......! She realized how ridiculous the Rutherford era prohibition was....and found the cookies yummy.

    No doubt some JW saw her and she will be hunted down

  • Gojira_101

    MrFreeze: When I read your comment to my husband, he died laughing and said "I would do whatever I could to get one of those cerals and eat it like a demon" See clearly then no true Christian would want to eat this ceral. Quincy: When I read your post I was laughing hysterically, but then I realized how true it is. Dude that last part nearly killed me. "Swinging your NWT about like a battle ax." I'm still laughing because I'm actually picturing some of my JW family doing that. Balaamsass: A JW saw your wife and she will be hunted down as a witch and burned at the stake because she bought those evil cookies. I don't know why but the scene from Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail just poped into my mind were the villagers are wanting to burn the witch and their logic is well stupid and I could picture some of the JW's, using that same logic. "Burn her, burn the witch." "How do you know she is a witch" "She looks like one" The woman: "These aren't my clothes, they dressed me in these" "Did you dress her in these clothes?" "No, no, no...well maybe, yes we did dress her in these." Or something like that. And as you read those lines, you have to say them in the British accent, because I was saying these lines in a British accent while typing.

  • bsmart

    Read the first page last night, and today I went to Walmart and those evil girlscouts and those stacks of cookies were out front. I went right up and got myself some thin mints and the $7.00 for two boxes was a bargain! Num!

  • Heaven

    I love the chocolate ones. But haven't seen any Girl Scouts yet.

    Actually I'm wondering if I should go buy Kebler Fudge Grasshopper cookies instead?.......Oh wait a minute....Elves make them and use magic to cook them.....We all know Elves are related to Smurfs......bloody hell...I can't eat the grasshopper cookies now!

    I think the Keebler Elves have secretly hired on Sparlock, the Warrior Wizard. Yep, that's why he's gone 'missing'. The Keebler Elves also make Jehovah 'sad'. They have a magic oven.

    Keebler Elf

  • jws

    Read the first page last night, and today I went to Walmart and those evil girlscouts and those stacks of cookies were out front. I went right up and got myself some thin mints and the $7.00 for two boxes was a bargain! Num!

    I'm tellin' ya. Go INSIDE the Walmart next time and look for their version. Probably $3 for two bags instead of $7.

    One of my favorite movie lines is from the Addams Family:

    Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
    Wednesday: Yes.
    Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
    Pugsley: Yes.
    Girl Scout: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
    Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

    Gojira_101, you can't use vending machines at a DC now? Now I want to go to a DC next year just to use the vending machines and see whether they can stop me after I ignore their polite request not to use them. WTF? They don't serve food anymore and force you to find it by other means and then don't let you use vending machines (not that it's the healthiest stuff, but if you're starvin'...)

  • Gojira_101

    tiki: I don't know how but I missed your post the other day. I hate hearing stories like yours because of the mind control this crazy cult does. I mean really what is so bad that you couldn't be a brownie? I was on their website last night (seeing what kind of cookies they have) and I actually think I figured out WHY girl scouts are evil. The real point of them selling cookies is to....

    1) Build self-confidence and self-esteem.

    2) teach them how to run a business.

    3) How to have business dealings with people.

    4) And learn problem solving skills...etc. The real danger is the WT doesn't want a young girl to think for herself and learn how to be indepented or think. I bet you anything that is the real reason. Elders don't like women who can think for themselves and have any kind of indepentence. They want a girl who will allow their husband to beat the S&$T out of them, be barefoot and pregant in the kitchen....or regular pioneer. Of course they don't want someone who can think for themselves...they want a Borg!!!! Sorry this is a sore subject for me and I tend to rant a lot about this.

    A fading friend was tellng my mom the other day that he remembered being selected to join the student councel and he was so excited....then when he went home he told his mom and she freaked out and....the typical JW response. I hate how the WT has this control over's Calab's mom all over again and poor Sparlock is in the trash! Makes me sick and how many opportunities kids are missing out on?

    JWS: I'm all for cheap cookies, but at this point it's more of a rebellous thing for me. I actually don't like cookies all that much, but it's the princible of the thing. WT has said not to buy Girl Scout cookies so this is my way of "stickin' it to the man." I love that part of Addams Family...Wendesday is my hero!!!! G

  • Finkelstein

    Good for you to point out the insidious stupidity of this religious cult. Gojira_101

    There's nothing wrong with joining one of these organizations as they do help youngsters to gain knowledge and confidence in themselves

    as they mature, as well to learn within a group environment.

    Of course the WTS. doesn't like its members associating with NON-members for they may learn and come to realize the bullshit ignorance of what

    controls these people in the first place, loosening the power and control of the WTS. leaders.

    Think of an analogy of a Shepard putting a fence around its flock as a means so that no sheep escape making the Shepard poor.

  • Gojira_101

    I ordered my cookies last night from a friend...I feel like such a rebel!

  • earthfire

    Gojira you crack me up! Thank you for making me laugh so hard. I especially love the wind up smurf idea. LOL omg that's funny. And yes, I did read the Holy Grail part with the British accent

  • skeeter1

    Jehovah is going to finish you all off like a box of girl scout cookies!


  • mP

    Buying and eating girl scout cookies is showing disrespect to the cookies at easter symbolising Jesus body. Girl scouts are the whores of Babylon men tion in John. The women taken in adultery was a girl scout selling cookies or nibbles of her other bits.

  • rowan

    Girl Scouts: they give you cookies for your money. WT: they suck your soul for your money.

  • Newly Enlightened
    Newly Enlightened

    This is way too funny! You are all hilarious. I love you guys!

    Ok, so thanks to my daughter and all her cookie talk. I was at Walmart this morning...

    No Girl Scouts around so I had to go inside and buy Keebler's & Walmart brand instead. Saw these and had to buy them!

    OMG! It's bad enough that the Keebler Elves use MAGIC to make them and tempt you with yummy Dark chocolate fudge stripes, but now the little DEMONS are asking us to donate blood. LMAO

    butJWS: You're right, the GV brand is just as good as the Keebler Grasshoppers.

    DSCN3461 DSCN3462

  • Gojira_101


    I love it!

    So now JW definitely should not eat these evil cookies now....How dare the magical elves tell people to donate blood! Little spawns of Satan.


Share this topic

Topic Summary

okay so i think it might be the concussion making me go on this rant...not too sure.. the girl scouts started selling their cookies yesterday and for the first time in my life i will be ordering cookies.....i mean wtf is so wrong with ordering cookies from them?

i love the thin mint's and guess what?

you can only buy them from girl scouts!!!!!!.

Related Topics