How about this one-Two sisters went on a singles cruise. One of the sisters fell for a man on the ship and proceeded to have sex with him. When the cruise was ending, this man brought the sister a present, a momento of their time together. Upon opening the small jewerly box, their was a little golden coffin, and a note which read 'You are dead, I just gave you AIDS'.
Favorite JW Urban Legends
by Christ Alone 59 Replies latest jw experiences
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NewYork44M
I always heard that demon possessed objects have super powers. I remember the stories of a demon possessed object that could not be destroyed. Well, let me tell you - this is not true.
I retained all the china in my divorce. The primary reason why I had the china was because I was demon possessed, thus the china must also be demon possessed.
Now keep in mind that I have no problem with this premise. Unfortunately, those demons are not doing their job. The china is chipped and every day, it seems, I send another plate to the garbage.
So, are demons falling off on the job, or perhaps I do not have demons flying through my head (and my plates). You be the judge.
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Princess Ashe
CO gave a talk and it was about a woman who fell in love with a man from work and the man became a witness for her but on there honeymoon while they were in the airplane he closed the window beside her and said that she will never be able to see the witnesses again.
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exwhyzee
On his show after one of the California Quakes, Johnny Carson said "They say the safest place to be in an earthquake is in a doorway. If that's the case, Amway salesman and Jehovahs Witnesses have it made" The audience roared and Johnny looked over to Ed McMahon with a puzzled look on his face as if he couldn't understand why everyone thought what he said was so funny. (That one is true cause I heard it personally)
I got baptized at the Vancouver B.C Convention and the singer Glen Campbell was supposed to be getting baptized too. People were running around with their Song Books looking for him so they could get his autograph. They announced in the assembly how inapropriate this was. ( also true )
Remember the one about the sister who had a man come up to her at the District Convention and handed her her missing Bible and told her he had broken into her house and been hiding under her bed and he heard her praying. After she fell asleep he stole her Bible and snuck out of the house. He started studying and had gotten baptized at that assembly. ( Pure B.S ! )
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Princess Ashe
there was a picture hanging up in our kingdom hall for awhile of a kingdom hall in california that had survived a cali mud slide and you could see the mud flowing on each side of the hall and it was the only building left standing.
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WinstonSmith
The nickname of NZ's boat in the America's Cup yacht race a few years ago was 'Black Magic' (because the boat was black and awesome). The Kiwis defended their title in Auckland and a father bought a merchandising cap for his son with the boat's nickname on it. The next morning the kid was at the breakfast table in tears because during the night the boy had seen the cap moving of its own volition.
"I mean really, brothers and sisters. What did this father expect? The cap had Black Magic written on it!"
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DarioKehl
I've got some doozies!
The old worldy woman who named her black lab "Jehovah" and it attacked and killed her.
The walking smurf.
The story of the new bethelite who, on his first day, ran into Nathan Knorr in the elevator. He said, "How ya doin', Nate?" and was sent home for being disrespectful (there are many awful stories about this man and elevators...ever noticed?).
Elderly women JWs knocking on a door. A doberman runs around the corner of the house in attack mode and mysteriously drops to the ground until they leave the property.
Any JW prayers being answered by bags of groceries on the front porch at "just the right time."
Ouija boards flying across the room or cutting forearm flesh of worldy people who recently began studying.
Demonic trinkets from garage sales refusing to burn.
Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, KISS and the TV show Mr. Ed talking about Satan when played backwards.
Smurf merchandise being thrown out from every JW home in 1983-1984 (but every JW family I knew secretly kept their Thriller albums even after MJ was DFed and within a few years, he was acceptable music at JW wedding receptions).
JW fad/crazes: 1970's anti-sugar craze. 1980's aluminum/alzheimers craze. 1990's MLM crazes (mulit-vitamins, NONI juice, long distance phone cards and herbal lotions). 2000's post-9/11 "re-zealification," 2010's emerging closted apostamovements ;)
The cheating, unfaithful JW brother who was having an affair. He and his mistress went to a large sporting event (World Series was the version I heard) and the ball was batted into the grandstands. Elders in his hometown saw him on the TV broadcast making out in the row in front of the guy who caught the ball... hmmmm... has anyone ever seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off????
There were also many doozies published in some of the yearbooks. I forget the year, but there were countless experiences of prayer causing Jedi-like mind tricks on the SS and many JWs avoided many disaters miraculously (SS guard looked inside an oven full of WT mags and "didn't see" them?). Does anyone remember that yearbook? Which year was it?
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WinstonSmith
I forgot to add that anything ending with the phrase "Years later at a convention I felt a tap on my shoulder....." set my BS radar screaming
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exwhyzee
What about the one where the Circuit Overseer was out in Service with a local Brother when they encountered an oddly bahaving Woman at the door . During their conversation with her she revealed to them tha she was a Fortune Teller. They proceeded with their presentation anyway but suddenly she started shieking with uncontrolable laughter. The Circuit Overseer was shocked when the Publisher, in an effort to calm the Woman down, hauled off and slapped her across the face. Later in the car the Circuit Overseer expressed his disapproval and asked the Publisher why he had done such a drastic thing. The Publisher replied "Becaise the Society always tells us we should strive to strike a "happy medium".
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designs
The Ouija boards couldn't see past 1975