I haven't had little ones in years, but how about a good child care center for just for a few hours or so. I have read it helps children to learn to be social and get along with others. I hate it that your young son was not accepted by the other kids but it was probably a blessing in disgise. The other posters seem to have good suggestions. You are a great mom for trying to do the best for you son.
What the hell was I thinking?! Stupid me!!
by freshstart 36 Replies latest jw experiences
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Diest
Parks are great, as are indoor play areas. There are moms groups, I know MOPS Mothers of Pre-schoolers is vaugely christian. Even criagslist might have some other moms to hang out with.
Even when I was a good kid there werent enough JWs to hang around...it is torture to be raised a dub, especially if there are no kids in your area.
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Fernando
I too gave the Pharisees and Sanhedrin far too much benefit of the doubt for far too long.
At least we all have the opportunity to learn powerful and valuable, if painful, lessons in this process.
No, I don't agree - not our fault. We were not stupid - just human, kind, hopeful and patient. We are not the dogs or "offspring of vipers" in this sorry story.
As you say, we don't really want to swap one religion for another. The exhorbitant price tag in religious communities is just not worth it.
We personally identify as Spiritual But Not Religious (SBNR) and as simple Jesus followers. We fellowship in simple, organic faith communities. However many there still unknowingly still carry religious baggage.
I pray for you to find a group, any group, of suitable friends with young children - persons with little or no religious baggage.
You might peruse various interest groups in your area on Meetup.com or even create one for "mothers and toddlers" or similar. You may want to meet in public places first, to avoid bringing unstable or unsuitable people into your home, before checking them out first.
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freshstart
I really appreciate the suggestions everyone. And yes, my husband and I really don't want our kids being raised in the same shit as we were. We were picked on mercilessly in school and I can't fathom having that happen to our children for the sake of some wacky religion. Oh god, I seriously thank you guys and Mouthy, you are especially correct in that we probably dodged a bullet. My husband and I are still in the process of deprogramming ourselves, and I never imagined it would be so difficult. Even though we know so much of the treachery and deceit that makes up with JW religion, it's all we ever knew so all that brainwashing runs deep through us. We're definitely working on it though. I'll keep coming here for encouragement.
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Broken Promises
Are there any mothers groups around?
They'll be a way for you to make new friends with other mothers and your little boy can make non-conditional friends there too.
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wasblind
I just love me some Granny / mouthy
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FlyingHighNow
Going to a church will offer lots of social opportunities but it also comes with a cost in terms of the need to conform and group think. Some have found churches like Universalists that are much more free and open.
He's right. The Unitarian Church is one. And the Episcopal Church another. I can speak to the latter, it is loving and truly interested in children. I grew up Episcopalian. It's a very healthy place for kids and parents. My grandson Julian, who is 16 and lives with me, has decided he's an atheist. He loves the youth group and spent last Sunday morning cooking for the homeless at the St. Mark's breakfast cafe. They love him no matter what he believes or doesn't. I can hardly ever attend on a Sunday, but I am treated warmly with wonderful hugs when I can. They come in at my work to do their shopping and they are always glad to see me.
They will recognize that you are on your own unique spiritual journey and respect your personal beliefs and feelings. If you ask to speak with the priest, you will find compassion. I have never heard one put down another religion to me, not even JW's. Any of them just let me be heard when I poured out my heart when I told them about my venture into Jehovahs Witnesses. One told me he had been raised in the Christian Science religion and understood some of what I was telling him. If you are baptized, you can take communion as well. Babies and toddlers who are baptized, take communion, too, if they are old enough to eat solid food . The sermons are very short, like 15 minutes. And they are never scary or designed to be guilt inducing. I had a very good experience growing up in the Episcopal Church as a child. After my JW husband divorced me, that is where I chose to go. I had been inactive for over 10 years.
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Nice_Dream
Please don't be hard on yourself, you are just being a good Mom! Sometimes I miss that sense of instant community for my kids. I'm also very introverted and find it difficult to go do social things. My almost 4 year old is super social and will be starting preschool this fall to be around other children.
Our local library has lots of drop in story times for babies-preschoolers that are free. And the YMCA also has some free parent programs where you will meet really nice people.
We also just head to the playground and my little guy plays with the other children there.
I wouldn't worry too much about socialization, my little guy is still super social and we didn't attend very many activities or have playdates. He talks to me a lot during the day, and I try and keep him busy.
The United Universalist church is for anyone, agnostic, athiest, Buddhist, etc. The children's group there might be fun.
When are you due? I hope your pregnancy has been going well.
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blindnomore
freshstart, your comment made me think of a disfellowshipped woman with her 3 children.
She was starting to attending the meetings again after had gone for about 7 years. Her children were 2, 5 and 9. Jehovah's Witnesses in the kingdom Hall treated her children as if they were disfellowshipped like mother and shunned those kids. No elders, publishers, pioneers, children ever even greeted them. I couldn't justfy myself any longer for such a unchristian behavior that finally indroduced myself and my children to those kids. They were so happy to be greeted. A mother was in tear and wisphered at me, "thank you." The sad thing was no one would still approach them for the rest of the time until She was reinstated. She faded away soon after(good for her).
The Kingdom Hall is the last place you want your child to be. Bad association spoils useful habit. Remember the scripture? I am glad you learned this rather early than late. My grown children told me recently how hard it was for them to growing up with the JW kids in the KH.
I signed up my children for piano, swimming lessons at 3 and golf, ski, tennis lessons around 5 and onward. I also took them to Children's Musium, the Tree House, parks, liberaries(they usually have a children section), and etc. Those were a lot of fun activities for my children(thank goodness I did something right for my children as a hard core JW). They are well adjusted responsible adults today. Sounds like your children are in good hands. I am sure you can sign up your 2 year old for some of the classes and activities avaible in your area. You are a good mother!