Funeral etiquette - Is crying allowed or seen as a lack of faith?

by usualusername 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    I've seen dubs crying at funerals. Some people handle it differently. Most just cry in private.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Sometimes they cry......that is O K . But as someone said above, the whole thing is more upbeat than you might expect. The talk often uses that scripture that "The day of death is better than the day you were born" Why? because you have a record of good things behind you.......

    It is all about seeing them again soon, so "Death, where is thy sting? "

    When someone of mine died I remonstrated with the speaker for putting jokes into the talk. Yes, he was going for laughs...at a funeral! I told him in no uncertain terms that it was not appropriate if you are grieving inside.

    Some of them seem to be determined to keep a stiff upper lip and not show sadness.....but there is no need to.

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    Oh you mustn't emote, if you do it will likely lead to a host of other suppressed emotion to come out; you know, the stuff that has been bottled up and held under wash-towel lock and key.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    usualusername:

    I am sure a few discreet sniffles with a tissue are acceptable and not a dead give-away that the person is lacking "faith" in the resurrection.

    However, if the person carried on like the man at my cousin's Catholic funeral years ago (he had to be pulled off her coffin), I suppose the people in the JW religion might talk about them. Personally, I never blamed this man because she was young and was to be a bridesmaid in his daughter's upcoming wedding. It was so sad.

  • TOTH
    TOTH

    I believe that the kh is the most emotionless and most pitiful place on earth. Clapping is the only real outlet allowed and it has to be about some stupid shit the wt is rolling out on the jw's behalf. Like the co visit or a new quick build.

    I never seen anyone cry at a jw funeral except at the grave site but not in the kh.

    When my dad died I cried at home. Nothing or no one at the kh ever gave me the sense of any consideration for true human feelings. In fact, the po of teh congregation approached my brother and extended his hand, not to offer condolences but rather to offer him a book study. Ya, count time you stupidass. Then a few days later he showed up unannounced at my house with a jr elder in training. He told me that since my dad claimed to be annointed, I needed to be sure that I was not supposed to pray to him or to expect any special favors. WTF! I threw them both out of my house and slammed their bookbags into his car. LOL

  • Resistance is Futile
    Resistance is Futile

    I've been to a few JW funerals that my non-JW relatives attended as well. The non-JW's all commented later about the lack of emotion displayed from the deceased's family. I later brought this up and heard almost the same answer from all the dubs "Well we believe in the resurrection". But the catch is that almost all the non-JW's are Christians and also believe in an afterlife in which we get to see our relatives as well.

    The behavior of JW's at funerals is a conditioned response. The fact that the majority of the funeral talk is a Watchtower infomercial for the potential recruits in the audience may also have something to do with the lack of emotion.

  • Soldier77
    Soldier77

    When my grandfather passed away some years ago, my whole immediate family cried, some of the girls bawled they're eyes out and I was definitely letting my emotions run with losing my fathe figure through life.

    Lots of other JWs did cry as well. Most of my immediate family are active, only a couple of us are inactive.

  • usualusername
    usualusername

    TOTH

    Love ya response. Cannot believe they came to your home for that... sick

  • lumper
    lumper

    It has been a while since I atttended JW fumerals on a regular basis, but I always sensed a party atmosphere; lots of smiles and laughter. My non-jw cousin died a few months ago and the only JW to attend was his daughter and granddaughter who showed very little emotion during a Christian service which concentrated on the life of the deceased and comforting the ones left behind. It is as almost the feeling is, "They're gone lets get on with our life." How sad.

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