Funeral etiquette - Is crying allowed or seen as a lack of faith?

usualusername

I have been to a few funerals and recalled that at many the cloest family members did NOT cry.

Ok cultures and a number of factors may explain that, but could crying mean you don't believe in the resurrection?

Is it social compliance?

I was just wondering.......

Listener

Another reason may be because the talks are very unemotional, hardly discussing the wonderful atributes of the deceased person and how they will be sorely missed.

Scully

FWIW, I have never cried at a JW funeral. There was nothing of substance regarding the dearly departed, no eulogies were permitted, no memories of their real personalities were shared. Just a basic wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am notation of their years of service and responsibilities to the Organization™, then fast forward to the Infomercial.

At normal funerals, it was all about celebrating and remembering the life of the person. Tears flowed freely and it was an emotionally fitting rite of passage.

finally awake

I don't cry at funerals. I can't allow myself that loss of control in public.

JWOP

I don't see it as a lack of faith. Just because you believe someone will be resurrected doesn't mean you aren't going to be sad that the person is currently out of your life.

00DAD

The thought that a person should or shouldn't show a particular emotion publicly because of how others might interpret it as indicative of your faith or lack thereof is frightening. It is also typical of JW Behavior control.

Be considerate of others. Don't let their rules control your life, that's just weird.

The shortest verse in the KJV Bible, "Jesus wept." - John 11:35. (Of course the NWT translation had to tweak it, but the point is the same.)

Jim_TX

It's not a 'lack of faith'... it programming. All they do at funerals is talk about how they are 'just sleeping', and will wake up soon in the resurrection.

So, when you're programmed to think this way, you don't shed any tears. After all, they'll be right back in a few.

I apologize if this sounds uncaring, but it's how they feel. I went to three family members' funerals in the last 10 or so years. It's all so... JW-ish. No emotions.

Although, I did have one old friend break out in tears when she saw me there. But, I think that that was for another reason, not necessarily related to the funeral. I gave her a hug when I said hello.

I've been mulling over some other thoughts about JW's and their lives, but probably should start a new thread to discuss those thoughts.

Regards,

Jim TX

twinkle toes

It's just another meeting to most and just as boring. The only difference is you get snacks after.

Personally I do think people try to 'hold back the tears'. Emotion has always been discouraged in public venues.

When was the last time you say anyone 'moved' by the grace of god at a memorial?

tt

Iconoclast

Does anyone know why they don't eulogize? I've always wondered that. Where is the harm in remembering a person's life, their character, speaking out about the love you had/have for them? How does the society defend the lack of a eulogy?

Jim_TX

Does anyone know why they don't eulogize?

Because (if I remember correctly), they always 'preach' that the person is not important. Only Jeehober is.

No birthday celebrations.

No graduation ceremonies.

Nothing that may put emphasis on the person as doing something special. (I.E. honors or awards)

No eulogies at funerals.

This has a tendency to de-humanize the individual. It is on purpose. The individual JW is not important.

Praise jah.

And yet... they tend to idolize those 7 who are in charge, or anyone who has rubbed elbows with them, or anyone 'high up' in the organization. While they will deny that they 'idolize' individuals, they do.

It's a very strange approach to living, if you ask me. Of course, I grew up in a large household with many siblings that my mom considered all as one entity. The Xyz family. No individualism. No kudos for accomplishments. Nothing.

Like a school of fish that moves one direction or the other. All going the same way. All alike. None different or individual going their own way, or having their own thoughts.

Sorry... I got to ranting and got off topic.

Funeral etiquette - Is crying allowed or seen as a lack of faith?

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