i'm reading the book to my close friend.we're doing really deep research...i do plan to speak to one of the elder's about my question though....i want to hear what they have to say also...i'm giving myself 4 months to do research and decide what i'm going to do...thanks for asking Mr.Flipper. However,i cant explain how free i feel.i dont look at every 'worldly' person as evil anymore.i can breathe easier now...however realising that everything i thought was true is now proved untrue is a tough pill to swallow but i appreciate ALL of YOUR help.....
i am a regular pioneer in my cong reading crisis of conscience.here goes...
by MsGrowingGirl20 206 Replies latest jw friends
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Witness My Fury
Make sure your friend understands the need to be discreet about what you are doing and the reasons, otherwise this could blow up in your faces.
Just a thought...
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Room 215
Tread carefully with the elders, hon... you're already years ahead of any of them in terms of comprehension of the Society's true nature..
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flipper
MS GROWING GIRL- I'm glad you are feeling freer in your mind and expressions. It is a nice feeling , yet as you say somewhat scary as well. We will be here for you, O.k. ? I was born in the Witnesses too, I know how frightening it can be finding these things out. I'm happy that you are seeing all of us as kind, helpful people . Notice we aren't the " big bad wolves " you've been told we are ? LOL ! Hang in there kiddo. I also agree with the previous posters to be VERY careful about what you say to the elders.
The elders are instructed to ask you a trick question by the WT society to see if you believe the " faithful & discreet slave " is under Jehovah's spiit direction. If you say " no " to that question it may get the elders even MORE on your case. For the time being just say " yes " but that you have doubts. That way they won't try to flog you with a JC committee or something weird like that. Good luck ! We are on your side. Remember that. Take care have a great day
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tornapart
Ms GG20.. I really feel for you. It's less than 3 months since I was where you're at. As you can see from my username, that's how I felt and at times still feel. I feel sick because I feel totally trapped and unable to get out (have an elderly mum who would be devastated if I left). Everyday I have to pretend. Keep my mouth shut and it burns inside. Sometimes I wish I never found out, other times I'm glad I did. I can free my mind and develop my own personal relationship with God and his Son. If you can get out without harming your relationships with family and friends then do it, in your own time. Don't confront anyone with your questions, no one will even 'hear' what you're saying. If you want to let it all out talk to others that completely understand you.
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SweetBabyCheezits
Hi, MGG, welcome to the real world and JWN! I know this is an extremely confusing time in your life but know that you are not alone and you are taking a massive step towards a free mind. Anyone who wants to control your thinking is not your friend. Please remember that. Reasoning and persuasion are necessary in life but it should be a HUGE red flag if anyone discourages doubt, questioning their authority, or independent/critical thinking.
i've noticed that alot of the comments have nothing to do with God.....Have u become bitter?
My wife and I have been out for a year and a half. I have had many moments of bitterness toward circumstances and "the system", but those moments become fewer and shorter in duration as time goes by. At the beginning, I was very upset with the unfairness of it all though.
do u all still believe in God?
I don't like to use the term God, because so many people/books would describe god in different terms and most - if not all - are self-refuting or just ridiculous. So I tend to think of the question as, "Do you accept any particular description of god as accurate?"
No, I've chosen to reserve belief for empirical evidence. And I have some little pet theories but I choose not to put faith in anything, even my own ideas regarding the mysteries of life/existence. I live by the aphorism "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."
How do u worship Him if at all?
To me, the idea of an omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent being that needs our worship (and demands it!)... is self-refuting and contradictory. By definition, something that is perfect needs nothing to be complete. Really, what kind of loving father demands his children worship him? Weird.
"The most preposterous notion that Homosapiens have ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history." -Robert Heinlein
That makes sense to me. I believe man created [descriptions of] God in his image, with all the immature flaws and selfish tendencies that men tend to have.
Do u feel at peace with God?
If there's an intelligence out there responsible for sparking life or consciousness, it isn't described properly in the Bible. I'm at peace with nature, I suppose, so long as nature doesn't try to maul me.
Are u happy?
I would say we are content and happy with our lot and direction in life. But the loss of JW family and friend relationships still hurts. That said, I agree with Seneca: "The secret to happiness is freedom. The secret to freedom is courage." Living based on something you know is a lie is not freedom.
Do u have any doubt that u made the right decision?
I'm sure I could've handled specific situations better but my wife and I have no doubt that getting out was the right thing to do for our own benefit as well as that of our children. It may take you a while to deprogram, though.
What we think & believe are in large part due to our upbringing, our conditioning. Most of us are taught at a young, naive age... not how to think but what to think. One of the best things you can do for yourself at this point is to study critical thinking skills, something that was mostly foreign to me before I got out. Here's a great site on the subject.
Best wishes on your journey! Just know that it gets better.
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Alfred
Growing Girl.... realizing that non-JWs are not "evil" or "bad association" will be one of the best things you'll get from your awakening (IMHO)... I remember the feeling I got from knowing that I was finally free to make friends with people from all walks of life... and it was fantastic!!!
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outsmartthesystem
"i'm so scared.... "
This is normal! When I first read this book...I did so secretly. I was scared I might be caught. Even after I'd finished a chapter and put the book away....I'd be jittery....trying to focus on keeping my cool so that no one asks me why I am acting weird. My heart would pound. All of this....because the society had spent nearly 30 years convincing me that reading such material would ruin my life, destroy my relationship with God and guarantee my eternal destruction. Keep reading. And when you finish....read "Combating Cult Mind Control" or "Releasing the Bonds". You'll better understand that such a teaching is a basic for cults (including the society) to keep their "flock" in line.
It is a long process (breaking the chains of the society). you'll have moments in the future where you'll suddenly panic and wonder "Oh my God....I know I have all this evidence proving that they are nothing but a mind controlling cult......but....what if they are right? Have I ruined my eternal life?" And then you'll do more research and be even more convinced that the society is a cult. The point being.....there will be times when you second guess. It is part of the process of breaking away
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outsmartthesystem
i've noticed that alot of the comments have nothing to do with God.....Have u became bitter? - Some people have. Some haven't. It is all in how you deal with knowing that you've wasted many years of your life. I know the society paints all former witnesses as bitter and full of hatred. That alone probably makes you wonder "oh my god....the society was right! Former witnesses seem to be bitter! Perhaps the society is correct after all!" That is a common fallacy. Think about it. How would MOST people react after learning that something they dedicated decades of their life to turned out to be a fraud? There is bound to be some sort of agitation there. Do some research on Enron Corp. There were people that worked at that company for a LONG time. All of their life savings were invested in corporate stock. Then it was found out that Enron was a fraud and it crumbled. Its stock was worth nothing. How do you think those people whose life savings were worth nothing reacted? They were undoubtedly hurt and angry at that corporation. Like I said....it is a natural feeling that happens whenever somebody realizes a painful truth about something they once held dear. Don't let governing body trick you into thinking they have some sort of divine backing simply because they can quasi predict the actions/reactions of "apostates". The leaders of the Mormon church can accurately predict that their former members will be relatively bitter too. That doesn't make them directed by God does it?
do u all still believe in God? - Kind of sort of. At this point I have trouble believing that everything got here by chance.....but I have determined to never again let anyone tell me what I can and cannot research. I am currently researching evolution. But that doesn't mean that I DON'T believe in God. Like everyone said....it is a LONG process (leaving the WT)
How do u worship Him if at all? - Read the Christian Greek scriptures in a bible other than the NWT. You CAN believe in and worship God without a supporting organization.
Have u found Jehovah's true followers if not witnesses? - Why do you believe that there can only be one GROUP of people that are God's true followers?
Do u feel at peace with God? - That's part of the process
Are u happy? - Not as happy as I could be. But that is because I have a wife that is still very much a witness. And whenever I bring up yet another JW belief that doesn't make sense of that she can't reason on.....she simply says she doesn't want to talk about it. She would rather maintain her cherished belief system than know the truth. And my children are caught in the middle. So no...I am not as happy as I'd like to be. But everyone has different personality types. For me......I could do one of two things. I could pretend that I DON'T know the truth about the organization....go back to meetings....and live a lie. Or I can embrace the fact that witnesses DON'T have the truth and face whatever consequences come from my search for FINDING THE REAL TRUTH. Living a lie isn't an option for me. I want to know the truth regardless of whatever consequences from from distancing myself from the cult of JWs.
Do u have any doubt that u made the right decision? - In spite of what I wrote above.....no. If you haven't done so already....watch the Matrix. Finding out the truth is more important that living a relatively peaceful lie within the confines of the organization.
If this is not the truth then why are some of u still 'fading'? why condone untruth? Would God be happy if this isn't the truth and yet u still atempt to condone and fade? - Good question....and the answer lies in the disfellowshipping policy that exists within the organization. Think about it this way. What happens if I officially disassociate myself? My daughters can no longer have "witness" friends over to play. If we happen to see another witness family at the local pool....the kids can play....but we can't sit with them because of me. So my family now has to choose whether to sit with their friends or sit with me. If my kids have a ballet recital.....her "friends" and family may not come because I will be there. So now I have to choose. Do I go or do I stay so her friends can go? What happens when my daughter gets older? What if she gets baptized into the cult....and takes its disfellowshipping doctrine VERY SERIOUSLY? What happens when she tells me she can no longer speak to me because of that? And then she has children which makes me a grandfather....but I am never allowed to see my precious grandbabies because I am disfellowshipped. Etc. The disfellowshipping doctrine is one of strict control and it devastates families. THAT is why we fade. None of us are condoning anything. Fading is the only way to salvage a relationship with your family. Believe me. If I could get my wife and kids out of the organization I WOULD disassociate and I would strongly advocate against cults and cult practices.
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MsGrowingGirl20
thank u outsmartthesystem.....i know that was honest and hard to write