How did our parents do it?

by pbrow 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pbrow
    pbrow

    Parents.... How did you put your kids through this religion? How did you bury your head in the sand when something didnt seem right but you forced this religion on your kids anyway? I was a born in, my mother was a convert. Ill admit, before I had kids I suppressed doubts and thought "this is as close as it gets to the truth" As soon as I had kids and realized that I now had to teach this garbage to my kids w/out really believing it was enough to get me to realize the cognitive dissonance stops here. What I want to know from any of you out there is how the f*ck did you allow yourself to continue to see what you saw and still teach this crap to your kids? I liken it to the @$$holes in india or africa who allow their six year old daughters to get married because they dont want the daughters to shame them by getting raped. I get the "born in, the way its always been done" line of reasoning. But when you actually have a child, you actually have a living, breathing, beautiful daughter what in god's name doesnt make you wake the eff up and say "I will not allow my daughter to get married at six"

    No birthdays because it is putting children before god? No extra curriculars because it takes time away from god? No voting for city council because your choosing your alderman over god? No blood during an emergency c section because its putting your childs life above god? Wake the eff up parents and get your gets the hell out!

    pbrow

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Because we were evil, nasty little shits, who hated our children and didn't want them to have a decent life.

    Happy now???

  • pbrow
    pbrow

    lol, yeah, thats what I was looking for!

    pbrow

  • hotspur
    hotspur

    I can proudly say I never conducted The Family bible study. Did take them to the boasting sessions though... unless anyone of us had an ailment of some/any description.

    [edited to include my shame - still, I guess it was a success... 2/3 not JWs]

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    *hangs head in shame*

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Bribery was the tool I used, constantly.

  • Morbidzbaby
    Morbidzbaby

    There are lots of people here who are "awake", yet still stuck in. They stand to lose too much. That was me for awhile when I was still married. I went through the motions as best I could, getting more and more depressed as time went on. THAT wasn't good for my children, either. Some of us don't want to confuse our very young children by slamming on the brakes and saying "Oh, well now we're going to do things this way", while the JW parent still tugs the reigns in the direction of the WTBTS. This is what I'm going through right now. I will not confuse my children further at this point in time. They are still too young to understand why "Daddy and step-mom worship Jehovah" and "Mommy doesn't love Jehovah". They can't understand why birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc are OKAY. They're being told daily that these things are wrong. I don't see them daily. I don't speak to them daily. My influence is of little value to them right now. It would only serve to confuse them.

    So...before you judge and get pissy with parents on this board (very misleading title of this thread, by the way...you asked How did OUR parents do it?, yet this thread did nothing but berate parents in this forum), try understanding where they are coming from. "Just get out of the cult" is not always an option. We have to weigh the consequences of coming out of the apostate closet. Some of us have more to lose than others.

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    So...before you judge and get pissy with parents on this board ... try understanding where they are coming from. "Just get out of the cult" is not always an option. We have to weigh the consequences of coming out of the apostate closet. Some of us have more to lose than others.

    Exactly. It also depends on the dynamics of the family and their relationship to the JW community, as well as with the extended JW side of the family. One has to balance the harm of their children being associated with this kind of religion, with the harm of them suddenly being alienated from their extended family. After all, if the parents become DF'ed, it will inevitably have a knock-on effect with the kids' associations/familial relationships too.

    Besides, it can be possible to 'water down' the JW experience for them so that by the time they come of age, they (hopefully) will have seen enough 'normality' not to become another generation bamboozled into or locked into the JW mindset. It is a judgment call, however, and not an easy one to make. JW or not - everyone screws up their kids in some way ;-)

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    It was having children that forced the issue for me to leave. If I just coasted along and eventually they left the organization, what excuse would I have for them explaining why I denied them all the holidays, robbed them of their childhood while feeling it was a sham.

    To me, it would have been worse than a JW that does it because they feel it's the truth. I just couldn't do it.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Parents.... How did you put your kids through this religion?

    I am not a parent ...If I were a parent in my dub years I would have done all the things that you describe.. Why? Because I really believed it (fool that I was) One or two things I had reservations about but I had no doubt that this was really the right organization. I see it in the family too. Sisters and In Laws have brought up their kids to do it, and now they do it to the next generation.

    Parents teach their religion to their kids, that is a fact - and they do believe that Armageddon is approaching so you'd better be on the good side of The Almighty !

    The scales have fallen from our eyes but sadly not the 7 million remaining inside

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