Rawr....gotta leave the innocent people outta this

by AwSnap 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • AwSnap
    AwSnap

    So aggravated right now. My "worldly" uncle is visiting our area and staying with my jw parents. my siblings live in various parts of my parent's house as well (they are adults, just want cheap rent). one sibling and her husband are shunning me. If they know I'm coming, they will retreat to another area of the house so they don't have to associate with me. My sister doesn't return phone calls, not that I call her often anymore.

    I was left out of the family festivities last night because my sister & husband were at home. That hurt my feelings, but whateva.

    I called my uncle this morning and he said he was at a resturant 20 miles away with my sister's husband, and that the rest of the family was on their way. They've also 'claimed' him for the whole afternoon. He's a really good guy, and I'm not sure he knows what's going on between me & my sister.

    I have venomous feelings for my sister & her husband...this is so ridiculous. I'm kinda planning on just showing up tomorrow without calling first. My other family would probably be okay with that, but I feel like making my sis look like a dumbass when she retreats while I'm there. But I don't want to put my uncle in the middle of it.

    Decisions, decisions......thanks for letting me vent.

  • ssn587
    ssn587

    Your Uncle if he is perceptive at all, is already in it, embarass your sister don't let her give any of the vile nonsense from the witnesses to him, and it will show him just how ridiculous these people really are.

  • blondie
    blondie

    It's up to your uncle to carve out some time for you....and not let your jw family dictate who he associates with. Unless he takes the lead in this and just let's things "happen" then invite him to spend time with you.

    jws love to play games.

  • AwSnap
    AwSnap

    I feel like I don't want to call first because that is warning them that I'm coming over, therefore playing their silly game. But I don't want to make innocent people feel uncomfortable either.

  • wannabefree
    wannabefree

    If you are no longer playing their game (Watchtower Monopoly), you aren't subject to their rules.

    My opinion ... be sociable, be friendly, act in a loving way toward all, be calm toward your sister but I would say don't back down, your kindness will heap firey coals on her (Rom 12:20), avoid an outward proclamation of attitude that boasts "I have every right to be here" ... even though you should be confident of that cuz you do belong there ... your reasonableness will shine, if your sister up and leaves, the harsh JW way of unreasonableness will be evident.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Awsnap, do you want to see your uncle or the jws? If it is your uncle, then talk to him (or go over and talk to him) and set up a time for him to come over or to take him out for dinner. Now if he is playing their game, you might find out that no matter what arrangements you try to make with just him, will result in a reason why he cannot come. I find it hard to believe that his every waking moment is already scheduled unless he making some excuse.

    Blondie

  • blondie
    blondie

    When I was inactive, my youngest brother got engaged (I was not told about it). An engagement shower was planned for her but I was not invited. After I was reactivated, my mother asked me why I had refused to come to the shower................it seems the organizers had told her they had invited me but I refused. She was so mad when she found out they lied to her (she is a jw and so are they). So jws can be so manipulative and lying. I have found that non-jw relatives are not totally ignorant. I can't believe your uncle didn't wonder why you weren't there and may have asked and was told a fib or outright lie.

  • AwSnap
    AwSnap

    No, he's a very 'go with the flow' kinda guy. I'll call him in a little bit. Wannabefree, I think that's very good advice. Thank you. Gonna be tough to follow, lol. But you're right

  • LV101
    LV101

    I like your advice wannabefree and easier said than done and it's killing me just thinkin' about it.

    Ok, i'll start my own post and wannbefree, blondie, ssn587, Awsnap and all others who have the time, please reply.

    Thanks

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Call him, but leave the it open as to when you'll "drop by". That will give them days of discomfort ;)

    Discomfort is good for JW's, because w/o it, they can go literally years without engaging their own brains.

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