Your best one sentence JW comeback contest (page 3)

ProdigalSon

tal's sunglasses smiley just made me think of villabolo... i miss villabolo....

Are the watchtower mags the inspired word of god? Then they can go 2 ways each way screws them. If they say yes I say why have they made mistakes (really if you ask them that directly the light crap scrambles their brains)? Also sometimes I instead say , Oh I thought the inspired words ended with the apostles? If they say no I say well I don't have to read them then.

talesin

'actual conversation'

maternal unit: You know, your grtgrandfather was an uneducated, superstitious old man. He actually believed that the Masons could trace themselves back to Jesus.

tal: Yah, that's what the early JWs believed, too, but there was 'new light'.

t

steve2

"I am far too humane to wake people up from their self-induced slumber so will you please sleep-walk yourself off my doorstep right now?"

beenthere26yr

"Does the bible say that a husband is the spiritual head of his wife?"

Their answer "Yes"

Then why does one of your sisters keep urging my daughter to begin a "bible study" with you folks without her husband and say he doesn't need to know?

Farkel

Ok. I'll take a shot at it.

Dub says: The GB speaks for God.

Farkel says: What's their percentage of wins on their predictions, then?

Dub says: they are just imperfect men.

Farkel says: the answer is zero, you fool. They are not just imperfect. They are idiodts, charletans and scoundrels.

Dub: you are an apostate.

Farkel: you are an idiot.

Dub: you will die Armageddon.

Farkel: your braincells will all melt into mush before I die at Armageddon. Oh, wait! They are already all melted into mush!

Dub: my God will KILL you!

Farkel: my logic will get you long before your God kills me, dummy.

Dub: I HATE you.

Farkel: God is a God of Love. Glad to see you are emulating God. HAHAHAHAHA!

Dub: I'm just an imperfect man.

Farkel: So is the GB, like you said. You are ALL imperfect men. So am I. The only difference between you and me is that you claim you have a special relationship with a God you cannot even prove exists, and I don't make any such claim.

Dub: That's because you are demonized.

Farkel: Yep. That makes perfect sense for you.

Dub: I win! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Jehovah is going to fuck you up! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Farkel: (I have nothing to say to that. How can I reply to insanity?)

godrulz

Today, two younger JW girls came to my door. I just quoted Scripture about who Jesus is and asked why the WT systematically changes these verses in the NWT, contrary to KIT. She wants to bring her step-father back because they had no answers to simple verses in the Word that contradicted their Arian view. They tried to change the subject to blood, but I am a paramedic who knows the difference between the digestive and circulatory system, between Jews not eating blood and modern men saving lives with it (the sanctity of life trumps even Sabbath laws). They kept saying that they never heard of that or that they did not know the answers. I reminded them not to trust the WT, their parents, etc., but that they would be responsible before God for what the Word actually says. Truth silences the lie when presented respectfully in love. Smart aleck comments are fun, but they shut down dialogue. Lifting up Jesus draws all men to Himself and gives the hope/possibility of abundant and eternal life and freedom from a slave organization. I commended them for their zeal, but rebuked them for their lack of biblical knowledge. I affirmed love for them and a common desire to know and serve God, to see His kingdom come, etc. A mission field at my doorstep...doesn't get better than that.

sizemik

A young smartass JW asked me once . . . "Are you open-minded enough to consider you might be closed-minded?"

I simply answered . . . "Yeah, sure . . . . are you?"

wobble

"I am not so open minded that my brain fell out" comes to mind Sizemik.

Well done Godrulz with your conversation, just the fact that you exposed their paucity of Bible knowledge may make them think, they have supposedly studied the Bible all their lives, but never actually read what it really says, evidently.

I think we are unlikely to use these one liners only, and in some circumstances they may not be the loving thing to use, but with my brain-washed family I may use one or two of them from time to time, I only get the chance to slip in a one liner now, they are so wary of listening for long to me.

So thanks everyone.

Amelia Ashton

1. "If Jehovah wanted to show you that the WTS isn't the truth, what would He have to do to convince you?"

Brilliant question.

Unfortunately, as I am not one of life's quick thinkers and always think of witty replies half an hour after the event, how would you answer if they then turned it back on you by saying "like what"?

Your best one sentence JW comeback contest