This was all awesome advice to wake up to, thank you. I knew this was the place to get the confirmation that I'm doing the wrong thing! hahaha. Don't worry, I suspected that already, since it has made me sick to my stomach ever since I researched the Watchtower OUTSIDE the Watchtower that I'm STUCK in this joke of an organization because it's too risky to get out - and I look upon studies with pity. I have visions of all of us in a cement mixer, and above us, some well dressed kind devout JW is leading another soul to the slaughter. It's that intense.
Unfortunately I am harboring some sort of fantasy to get married to this girl and live happily ever after. When I strayed, I did date worldly girls and while it could have just been the fact I was brought up with the judgmental JW attitude that everyone outside the KH is a goat, when they didn't work out for whatever reason that thinking grew stronger. Of course JW's would REVEL in this because it meant they were right and the protection rubbish is justified. My experiences in the world led me BACK to the KH. So learning the truth about "the truth" was SOUL CRUSHING. Basically it was: Hell, it's no more safer in here than it is out there. Jehovah's Witnesses is a religion no more false than the religions they condemn. I think anyone who believed we were THE TRUTH and devoted their lives to this, would understand where I'm coming from here. I'm talking 2 weeks of sleepless nights, and not attending meetings, only to put on the suit again and I'm back in there like a sucker.
Fortunately since learning the truth I can now have a good laugh every time I'm in the KH. It's amazing what you notice is wrong with the org once you've loosened the shackles. That's where I am at... I know it's crap, but I go a long and use whatever I can to my advantage. While its not perfect, I don't believe it's the worst thing in the world. I don't believe any religion is right, and they're all based on doctrines littered with truth and lie, but whatever works for people. No disrespect to anyone here who has had terrible experiences, but I just haven't had that bad luck. I've read the horror stories about congregations around the world and I'm stunned. I'm not going to defend mine 100%, but it's far from terrible. Basically, if I was subjected to that misery, I'd leave willingly.
" I think the elders just need to tell the person to grow up."
I'm not surprised they didn't do this, simply because it's insanity what passes as "acceptable reason to counsel someone." I feel like the doctrine has only gotten more and more restrictive over the years. Hate to think what the future holds. OH! Never mind. False religion will fall on it's ass. I can only laugh now when an ignorant JW claims "We'll be the last one's standing!" What a glorious time that'll be. But not for the reason they're thinking.
"Sucks to be a mid-20s+ single brother in the org. Decent eligible females in that age group are few and far between."
True words, brother. What I've found is the sisters who once made an effort to quickly snag a mate, end up letting themselves go once they're married, and start looking like the sisters who never tried. Dunno if anyone else has noticed but these sisters always talk about singleness being a privilege because it leaves them more time to serve in the ministry... *GAG*
""one of the biggest mistakes of my life was letting these idiot men come between me and her. do what you feel is right. screw this stupid religion and their plethora of rules. the worst thing they can do to you is kick you out (DF) but then that is a blessing in disguise. the only power they have over you is what you give them."
I really should (and could, and may consider it seriously) take this brilliant advice and run like hell. Sigh.
"And things must have gotten good for her again, because she went back to shunning me."
Sorry, that sucks. But I guarantee you'll be the first person she calls if she ever fades. The DF arrangement is one of the biggest gripes I have with the religion, even moreso than the lies of the WTS. Because no one sinned against the entire congregation, and the Lord encouraged forgiveness. Not "We'll forgive you and treat you like a human being with feelings once you repent and pledge to serve the WTS again." But let's not get into that. I could almost forget this is a sickening cult if it wasn't for that extremely cult-like attitude.
"My advice would be to try to sort of date her alone in public places. If she's not so deep in the study she should accept it. "
Pretty sure she IS deep in the study. According to her study conductor, she plans on becoming an unbaptized publisher. The fact she doesn't talk to me, or even look in my direction anymore tells me she's been told she's doing something wrong and she's eager to stay in the good books. It's sad enough that she's so early encountered the pathetic rules of the religion, and probably feels bad for "stumbling" someone. But her study conductor also says she questions a lot and "really makes me do my homework." YES! THIS is very promising. I think we have an independent thinker here.
Sometimes I wonder if it was the study conductor who squealed. Mostly because she said to me "She doesn't need any distractions at this point." Hmmm.
"stumbling" is a catch-all term invoked by JWs who don't like something you're doing, but can't come up with any reason it's actually wrong."
YES. That's what makes it infuriating bulls***. It's a perfectly reasonable, convenient excuse. That's what makes it so scary.
"If either of you do not fully understand that the Watchtower was not selected by Jesus, in 1919, to be God's sole channel of communication in our day...."
Yep, we're screwed.
"That's good enough for me, now just get me to the KH on time!"
HAHAHAHAHAHA AWESOME. And so true. No wonder the rest of the world laughs at us. I'm surprised the org didn't re-write "Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married." since they're so against churches and never miss an opportunity to say so.
"I almost let The Org. come between me and my 'worldly' partner. I'm glad I didn't! We've been happily married two years now."
Congratulations, definitely nice to hear a success story :) You're lucky you could do that, not having anything to leave but the borg. Unfortunately everyone I've ever known and loved is in it.
"Think about it....your a 25 yr old, single man, talking to the same good-looking woman often"
25 yr old single, good looking man . I dunno... but i kinda think if i was the fat nerd in the congregation talking to the pretty lass, no one would care.
"I'm not sure how the rest of your JW life is."
Ball & chain. I do what I'm asked. Field service, answering up, etc. I'm actually that guy in the congregation who is everything to everyone, helps the elderly, plays with babies, shines his shoes, makes the apostates undercover gag, etc. So, there's a lot of possibilities when it comes to who went to the elders thinking they were protecting me, are jealous, or they're terrified this bad worldly girl is preying on such a good brother. Actually, typing this out, it now makes sense why it happened.
""JW's are VERY nice people? WTF???? Drink any Kool-aid lately..."
As a whole, no. GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE my ass. Everytime they use the scripture to 'prove' it's them, I'm thinking "And every other damn religious cult is applying that same scripture to them, idiots." Just because we chose to be the fools pushing literature in 10000 degree heat in suits and ties doesn't make us special.
BUT there are a lot of good JW's. I hate them because they're the bait for the lost, worldly people looking for loving people.
"If the JW "stumbling" teaching had any real merit, then you would be stumbling this girl by aiding her to baptism."
I KNOW! Trust me, I've battled the guilt over this haha. I keep thinking of the scripture regarding Babylon (which JWs will be in for a rude awakening when they learn they're not excluded from it) "GET OUT OF HER!" I also think of the scripture that taking in the true knowledge of you leads to everlasting life... doesn't leave someone like me who KNOWS the truth but chooses to listen to the lies, in a good position. This girl uses the internet enough , i'm hoping she finds out everything i have on her own.
"Tell the elders that you have been stumbled by the stumbling "
This isn't a lie, actually. I've been depressed over it. I can say "I'm stumbled by the fact one of my loving brothers and sisters would assume such false things about me. I feel like I can't trust anyone and I;m disappointed that they don't trust me."
I'm not sure what the next move is. What do I do if I smile at her and she quickly looks away as if she just saw Satan himself? Because that's pretty much what she's doing!
And thanks for the welcomes... I'd like to post regularly but i'm already paranoid that someone will know I come here. Sorry, i AM still a JW, hence scared shitless and stupid. ;)
