Visit from a car group

by Lunatic Faith 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  Lunatic Faith

  So, yesterday (Saturday) I was working on homework while PYRAMIDSCHEME and his son were outside in the garage. I hear the doorbell ring, at noon, and go to answer it. It's a car group! I have been avoiding these people for months and they snuck up on me. Of course I couldn't avoid them.

  Fortunately, it's only a car group of sisters and their kids. One of them needs the bathroom. The sisters were actually friends of mine. So we stand around and visit while the kids sit in the car. First of all I get the "We've missed you." I offer no explanation. Then I admit I unfriended them both on FB because I didn't want to offend them since another sister in their congregation turned me in to her husband. One of them acted like she had heard talk but didn't expound on any of it.

  Then I get the question, "So, are you coming to memorial?" I looked her in the eye and said, "Probably not." Then the other one tries to turn the whole awkward situation into a joke and makes some comment about, "You shouldn't ask Luna that question you know you're going to get the most shocking thing she can come up with." Hahaha--everyone laughs.

  They quickly make excuses as to why they need to leave and I follow them out to their minivan. One of the sisters has this little 4 year old girl, who I have never liked. She is a princess and diva, already. She asks her mom, with me standing there, "is she a worshipper of Jehovah?" Her mom says, Yes. So the little girl goes on, "Why doesn't she ever come to the meetings. I never see her there!" Her mother puts her hand over the little girls mouth, looks back at me apologetically and says, "Out of the mouths of babes." I just smile tolerantly. But the little girl won't stop. She keeps loudly proclaiming, "Why doesn't she come to meetings? How can she serve Jehovah if she's not at meetings." The van door closes, everyone waves, and I pray I never see that little girl again.

  Anyway, my day was shot. I was irritated and upset. The sis with the opinionated kid is married to an elder. The other is related to the whole congregation. It's going to get around. I feel ready for this, like I couldn't care less. But, I still feel panicked everytime I openly admit something to an active JW who used to mean so much to me. I am afraid now the elders will make more of a concerted effort to reach us. I guess we will cross that bridge if we come to it...
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  OnTheWayOut

  The princess really deserves an answer- round about when she's between 12 and 16 years old when she's able to think about a decent answer. I know they are "friends" but it's really some nerve to come by to use the bathroom. Sorry about your day. Hope it gets better.
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  NomadSoul

  Yeah you handled that very well. I don't think I can be that polite.
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  Highlander

  I wouldn't have been that polite either. I would have pointed out to them that despite saying that they missed me(and not making any real effort to socialize with or call me), the real and most likely only reason they stopped by: was to take a crap in my toilet.
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  jamiebowers

  I read your husband's account of this visit. Generally when people of any age ask questions that are non of their business, I try to answer as honestly and simply as possible. Because she is a child, maybe you could've said, "My relationship with Jehovah is personal, and it is none of your business." That poor little kid needs to be put in her place, and the earlier the better. Can you imagine the annoyance her classmates will have with her if she doesn't learn a little discretion by the time she starts school? I'm sorry your day was upset, but this "princess" is going to have lots of upsetting days if she's not taught any better than she apparently has been. What a shame!

  The panic you feel is normal and will subside with time. I was out for almost 20 years before stumbling on JWD/N, and I felt a surge of guilt and panic just lurking on this site. As a matter of fact, if the majority of posts had not been so funny and smart, I would've avoided this site and all other things jw. It will get better with enough time and knowledge about mind control.
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  NVR2L8

  Good job Luna...telling them as little as possible. This morning I got a call from a "friend" from the congregation who said he missed me...we talked about his new born son for a little then he asked if he could come by so we could take a walk and talk as we use to in the past. I told him that I miss him too, but at this time I wanted to be left alone. He replied that he understood, that sometimes we need to take a break. I thanked him for his call. By the way, I haven't been to a meeting for the last 10 months...and this is the first "friend" to call and inquire...
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  ldrnomo

  Next time, tell them there are plenty of clean toilets at Starbucks, MacDonald's, Denny's, etc.

  The little girls attitude shows how early on the cult propaganda can work on people.
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  nugget

  It is really hard to keep your cool when you are mobbed like this. Unfortunately JWs do encourage their young ones to be judgemental and opinionated. I would have been inclined to respond to her with "how can you possibly imagine that you can serve Jehovah by following the commands of men at meetings." This is probably why I am DF'd for apostasy and you are not lol.

  You did well thinking on your feet and you seem able to cope with the worst they can throw at you , good luck with your future encounters.
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  Lunatic Faith

  Thanks everyone. I have been contemplating what I could have done, but she wouldn't have understood. The main thing I keep thinking, is what would I have done if she was my kid. I would never have allowed a child to speak like that. But she is a foster kid this bro and sis just adopted. They are afraid to raise their hand to her. What really rankles me is that I know they went home and daddy elder heard the whole story and probably laughed and patted her little head for being a good christian.

  jamiebowers-Didn't know my hubby already posted. I must go see what he said.
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  Morbidzbaby

  Sorry Luna... I agree with the above members, though...if it happens again, tell them how you feel about their claim that they miss you and how you realize if one of them didn't have to pinch a loaf, they would never have come to your house.

  I haven't been to a meeting in MONTHS. July will be a year officially. Not once has a JW come by who was not an elder and wasn't obligated to inquire after me. Sure, they send messages through my parents, but other than that, they stay away. They don't care. Once you're out of sight, you're out of mind until someone mentions you and then it's "Oh, I remember her/him...*tsk tsk tsk and shaking head* I really don't know what happened to her/him...he/she doesn't come to meetings anymore and I heard that [insert disparaging rumor here]".

  Incredibly, as much as I am glad they don't come around so I don't feel pushed into a corner and made to explain, I do send my hello's through my mother and even treats I've made. They've enjoyed my brownies and rice krispies treats on a few occasions and always send along a thank you. Just because I'm an "apostate" in the eyes of those who are aware of my leanings does not mean I am evil and heartless. I'm still the kind person I've always been.