I ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's Congregation Bible Study which focuses on the responsibilities of Christian parents, and husbands. I also ask this in harmony with ItsCrap&TheyKnowIt's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way. I linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/Why-I-Eventually-Left
The past two weeks we went over pages 178-181 in the Come Be My Follower book. The parts on family life I found to be rather curious. Paragraph 16 mentions the responsibilities of "parents." It mentions that they may have to work long hours at exhausting jobs to provide food, clothing, and shelter for their children. It even touches on the emotional attachment and affections parents have for their children by stating that parents would rather do with less for themselves, than see their children deprived of life's necessities. Then it gets interesting.......it lists the responsibilities of "Christian parents." This includes studying with their children, taking them to Christian meetings, and working with them in the field ministry. Last week's lesson focused on the wives of elders, who support their husbands by sacraficing the time they could spend together so that the husband can take care of congregational matters. It states they are to be commended for their generous expressions of self sacrificing love.
As I was getting ready for the meeting the other night, I was thinking to myself about the thoughts on marriage I've heard through out the years. From the time I was a teenager working my first job, until now, older men have called themselves giving me advice by saying to me, "don't get married." That's only one side of the coin, so I can take a reasonable view on their so called advice. At the same time I've heard my dad say in times past, that "some of the worst marriages, are in The Truth." It got me to thinking about the JW lifestyle and how it has to aggravate relationships. When getting ready for the meeting, I was a little irritated because for one thing I was running a little late as I got off work later than usual. When I grabbed the slacks to a suit I was going to wear, I found that I didn't hang them up properly from the last time, and as a result there was a a serious wrinkle in the pants where I'd hung them crooked on the hanger. All of my other suits are in the cleaners, so I had to make do with what was available. That means I had to iron. Not to mention, I needed to shave, and wash up a little, and I need to be out the door in the next 10 minutes if I wanted to make it on time.
Reflecting on all of that, I couldn't imagine being married and having kids while trying to get ready for the meeting. The thought of rushing home to get ready, and find that the kids are slow getting ready, or are giving my wife a hard time, is unsettling. Other scenarios had me thinking like, what if its my wife's time of the month, or she's disappointed in me for not doing something I said I would. Or, maybe I have teenagers who are showing signs of "not wanting to serve Jehovah", that's got to be rough on a marriage. My dad told me years ago that some JW parents raise their children to hate Jehovah. What he meant by that is some JWs go overboard with field service and other spiritual activities. Eventually the child gets older and developes resentment due to such a rigid lifestyle. Then the parents start looking at themselves critically thinking that they didn't do all they could to help their children develope a love for Jehovah. The WT has even printed articles encouraging parents not be overly critical of themselves when this happens.
What I'm wondering is, has the WT played a major role in stressing marriages and families with all of the things they encourage JWs to do? Meetings, assemblies, conventions, field service, personal study, family worship night, auxilliary pioneering, regular pioneering, etc., all of these things have to add some stress to marriage. I'm single, and at times it all gets to be a bit much leaving me overwhelmed. I couldn't imagine having to do it all and raise a family at the same time. Marriage can be difficult enough for people, and when you throw the WT into the mix, I can see the potential for it to be a nightmare.
For those of you who're married, or really anyone who's had families in The Truth, is it fair to say that the JW lifestyle aggravated your marriage, or family? Considering that all marriages and families have their share of problems, would you say that the WT increased those problems? On the flipside of that coin, is it possible that The Truth made your marriage more solid, or helped your family?