I said I would do it and I just did, told my mom I want nothing to do with the org anymore

by Soldier77 19 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Soldier77

  I would copy and paste my emails with my mom, but that would probably be too revealing.

  Anyway, I said in a post a while back that I was going to tell my mom I no longer want anything to do with the Organization©. There have been a series of emails between the two of us lately and she was probing to see what was going on with me. I haven't been out in FS in almost a year and I haven't been to a Thursday night mtg in over 9 months. Sunday mtg I usually average once every couple of months for the last 6 months. So she has been pretty pushy with, 'so when are you going back to the meetings?'

  Anyway, I sent her a quick email a few days ago and I was cringing. Cringing bcause I thought, well, I practically said the organization can shove it up their ass. Well, her response blew me away, she was very empathetic and understanding. I mean how could she not? She's been through more abuse than I have by the org.

  So I wrote her a more direct email stating all of the lies and deceitfulness that the Org has subjected its members to. I outright told her I want nothing to do with the org any longer and that I will not allow it to further ruin my life.

  She wants me to write the elders and let them know how I feel. I told her she was crazy to think that would be a positive thing. I told her that I will not ever sit with the elders again, not in a JC or with 2 in a shepherding visit. I used all of my diplomatic skills I could as well as tact to be as respectful as I could to her.

  I'm just pretty exhausted after writing that email. It's an emotional drain.
• 

  laverite

  Wow. Just. Wow. Well done.

  The part that mystifies me is how could she think writing to the elders about this would be a good thing? I suppose getting DF'd has been a good thing, a very liberating thing for many people.
• 

  brotherdan

  She wants me to write the elders and let them know how I feel. I told her she was crazy to think that would be a positive thing. I told her that I will not ever sit with the elders again, not in a JC or with 2 in a shepherding visit. I used all of my diplomatic skills I could as well as tact to be as respectful as I could to her.

  Very proud of you, dude. That must have been really tough. But you did it and now she knows. All that would happen with meeting with the elders is that they would schedule a JC and then DF you. Then your mom would have to choose whether to continue a relationship with you or not. How COULD that be a good thing?!?!? Sick sick sick organization. Good for you!
• 

  Soldier77

  laverite, I'm not DF'd, just faded/inactive. Honestly, I could see them trying to DF me in the near future for whatever dumbass reason they can accuse me of this time. If it comes to that, I'm going to appeal the case and just DA myself. LOL! That should throw them for a loop.

  BroDan, buddy, thanks man, the funny thing is, she was DF'd once, for reasons that would mystify anyone, and I continued to talk to her throughout the whole ordeal and up to her reinstatement. I've been DF'd in the past before and she has always talked to me and we've ate numerous times together, in public, in fact, some JW's saw her a few times with me but the elders never said diddly squat to her.

  now I wait to hear her response to the last email... this one might be the bomb that goes off.

  Oh well, I'd rather deal with that and enjoy the freedom I have now. Freedom from an oppressive cult.
• 

  laverite

  Soldier77,

  I got that. I was only referencing the DFing part because that's what could happen if you went to the elders with your concerns. :)

  Stay strong.
• 

  tec

  I'm glad she understood, and I hope it stays that way for you both. It must be a weight off your shoulders to have come clean with her.

  Tammy
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  Soldier77

  thanks laverite and Tammy!
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  FatFreek 2005

  I'm not DF'd, just faded/inactive. Honestly, I could see them trying to DF me in the near future for whatever dumbass reason they can accuse me of this time. If it comes to that, I'm going to appeal the case and just DA myself. LOL! That should throw them for a loop.

  Appeal and DA yourself? Throw them for a loop? That's exactly what they would want so they could spend zero time in the appeal process. Cuz in their eyes DF = DA, period.

  Eating out with your mother? They would seldom challenge that because they don't know whether the two of you are conducting family business, a permissable association with your close relative.

  Len
• 

  Soldier77

  Hmm.. true... I was being a bit fascetious in my statement, but really, I couldn't careless what the outcome would be. My mother thinks I can fight this while being still 'in' and wouldn't have the chance while being DF'd. I am not fighting this with them anymore, I've been through shit sitting in front of pseudo-caring 'elders' more than I'd like to admit.

  Anyway, I think to them, DA is probably lower than DF. In there eyes, DA is outright rejection of the "truth" whereas DF you still can repent and come back. I haven't heard of anyone that has DA'd themself come back.
• 

  GrandmaJones

  Wow, just read your post. I can feel the stress. It sounds to me like there is a very good chance your mom will either go along with this, or let it drop. Either way, you'd be good.