""You can make Christmas as big a production or as little as you choose, there is no right and wrong way to do it per say."" i like the words above that psacremento wrote, try not to force yourself into corners, ive done that andits hell, ive had years where ive had trees, years where ive felt to scared too, i felt like the devil to be honest, the first year i had a little tree, as my family found out reacted very badly to me even though im a fader too.
i find that the tiny miny trees have been a halfway house for me, and i have winter berries and holly and white lights around, so it feels cosy and wintery not too xmasy but i do have all my cards up from all my lovely friends and neighbours and i feel quite strong abuot my small standing up for my decisions now.
dont force yourself, there will be another year,
just try and be happy and have fun with your kids whatever you decide, play some games, and have a laugh,
for me, xmas aint ever going to mean what it does to some of my friends that had the traditions from infancy, but there are things im beginning to like about the season,
im still scared about having a big tree, so i dont have one, i do the things that dont cause me stress, and each year it gets a bit better, some could say its a cop out me not standing up to my fear, but i choose theoption that gives me less stress on this one, you cant face all your fears and old conditioning in one go. and believe me we have enough shit to face after leaving that religion without piling the pressure on,
i love sending all my lovely neighbours cards, choosing my lovely friends presents that i know they will love, ihave a couple of neighbours in for drinks and natter and eats, i visit family that arent jws and let my hair down, i go to one or two xmas parties,
for me its about a time of friendship and caring and community, so aslong asyou get some of that into your xmas, dont worry about the specifics!!