WELCOME AND CONGRATULATIONS....i am deeply sorry for what you are going through....special big hugs for you and baby..((((( hugs )))))
New here...
by hereiam! 44 Replies latest jw friends
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Diva
Hi and welcome
Your story is not too dissimilar from mine. My husband and I faded together also, although he found it a lot easier to 'let go' than I did. We actually moved out of the territory, about 20 miles away and have not been contacted by any from our old congregation to even find out where we are and how we're doing. Thankfully!!
I have immediate family still in the org - my eldest sister and her husband being missionaries - so I have experienced a lot of negativity from these ones. Even now over 2 years on- but that's another subject.
I was also about 6 months pregnant when we started our fade and when we moved town. I have since made several really good friends through my post-natal group. You will find that by joining baby groups, playgroups etc you will meet some lovely mums and hopefully set up long-term friendships, as you already have something in common.
Feelings of negativity and anger will come and go. I still feel anger over the org and the lies they tell - my hopes of living forever, seeing dead loved ones again in the ressurection etc have all been dashed and now I am left without answers. However having my daughter who is now 2, I am determined to allow her to lead a normal life - I take pleasure in celebrating her birthdays and christmas, and my husband and i will try to ensure that she grows up to be a well balanced individual by not being brainwashed by a evil cult.
I would urge you to put your health and your pregnancy first at this stage. It's really important that you don't allow external influences affect you and cause negative feelings. Have you thought about maybe seeking some counselling at this stage?
I wish you all the best. Stay close to this forum, you will find help and support.
Diva xx
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hereiam!
I got up this morning and reread all the posts. I again was overwhelmed with tears of happiness and comfort and can't thank everyone enough. Really. I take each comment as precious and I'm greatful. Thank you all for caring so much.
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dissed
Welcome to the group! Please, keep coming back and vent all you want. Its good for the soul....
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Quandry
Welcome. The feelings you are describing are some that I, too, experienced. Betrayal, a saddness that took my breath away.....and yes, I am sure being pregnant is making things feel much worse.
You must follow some of the good advice offered here. Listen to happy music, get excercise out of doors. Yes, if there is a prenatal class of some sort, join.
About your family-tell your family members that you've changed congos and been depressed. It would be good if one of your family members could be with you when you first bring home the baby. You will need extra rest and help with the baby. You don't need to get into congregation info. If you must, tell them you haven't been going because you've been ill. Don't rush into anything. Take your time to sort things out about when and if to tell them you are not going back.
If it is not possible to have a family member stay with you, get your nest in order. Have food available in the freezer, all clothes clean, extra towels, etc. You will not feel like doing housework or cooking for a few days after the baby comes, and you and your husband should just have time to bond with the baby. If nothing else, arrange to pay someone to clean the first week you are home.
Your feelings are normal. It does get better with time, however.
Wishing you the best. (My daughter is 22 now, and our pride and joy)