Were you Stalked or Chased After Once you Exited the JW's by Elders ?

by flipper 175 Replies latest jw friends

  • Quentin
    Quentin

    This is my story edited from my profile, which may be of interest to others, or not....I was never stalked , to my knowlwdge, by anyone. Not even by the binocular uber jw's

    I grew up in Ft. Worth, Texas under the old regime, Congergation Overseer, Assistant Overseer and Theocratic Ministry School Overseer(generaly they made up the jc in most kh), along with assorted Ministerial Servants. Dad was disfellowshipped in 1956. He went to meetings with us off and on until he was reinstated in '62. I was baptized in '63. I liked being a Jehovah's Witnesses, field service, meetings, and especially the assemblies. Back then a reinstated brother, such as my dad, had to wait ten years before they would be permitted to do anything in the congregation except answer questions at meetings, do field service and conduct studies with interested persons. They couldn't even give the lead talk in the Ministry School. Our family were just plain old publishers.

    In 1971 I moved to Garland, Texas and began attending the local Kindom Hall. The following year I was assigned by the Congregation Overseer to conduct the Watchtower Study in a new congregation that was being formed. I was to do this until the Society made their full time appointments for that Kingdom Hall. It was made known to me that, at some point in time, I would become the Assistant Literature servant in my congregation. Life was good for me as an up and coming young Witness. Then I shot myself in the foot. How you ask? Well, let me tell you.

    I met Kathy. We dated. I asked her to marry me. She accepted. So far, so good, a lot of young witnesses got married and started families. Trouble was, she was an "unbaptized interested person" who lived in the Oak Cliff area of Dallas. Had a weekly bookstudy and attened the Oak Cliff congergaqtion on a semi-regular basis. Not only that, she was divorced and smoked. Because she was divorced we had to appear before the Congregation Overseer and Assistant Overseer, with witnesses, that could confirm her previous husband had remarried. Otherwise I could have been disfellowshiped for adultery. I was no longer considered for a Ministerial position. I took it on the chin like the good Witnesses I was along with my unbaptised wife, who never faltered in her support for me.

    After all, the brother's were only doing their biblical duty to protect the flock from a renegade. That's what the then current Literature Servant called me. Later he was disfellowshiped. Seems he had been a closet smoker for years. When that became a disfellowshiping offense he got nailed. His comment was tame compared to what others did and said, simply because I got married. There's more to this story, but it would take a book to tell it all. Let me just say that it was the beginning of the scales falling from my eyes.

    Except for a few who accepted my wife and myself for our marriage, and who we were, an entire congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses became our enemy. I do not use that word lightly. They were the enemy. We became awash in innuendo, vicious gossip, slander and out right lies. Even my wife's best friend, who had introduced us, became an enemy. This loving sister took it upon herself to call my wife's mother, who had no love whatever for Jehovah's Witnesses, and tell her I was a wife beater. It caused a lot of damage between my mother in law and me, which took years to overcome. It broke my wife's heart and caused her to tell me: "I don't care what you do, I'll never set foot in a Kingdom Hall again" and she didn't.

    I had numerous conversations with "older mature brothers" who were supposed to know spiritual things. I got the same advice that I have read and heard others say they got. "Wait on Jehovah", don't "run ahead", and most of all "be patient". I was being told in so many words that my choice of a wife was the cause of all the strife and division in the congregation and even though some of the brother's and sister's acted rashly, Jehovah's people were guiltless, after all I'm the one who became "unevenly yoked" while they remained faithful to Jehovah and his Organization.

    I "grew up in the truth". To coin a phrase I was a cradle Jehovah's Witness. I felt like the guy who retired that was handed a gold plated watch and a tin placket to hang on the wall that said: "Glad you were here, but now you gotta go".


    With that experience at the hands of "Gods People" and the manner in which my mother was disfellowshiped(will tell that story when I get a chance) I struck my tent in 1974 and moved on. Wish I could say I never looked back, it just wouldn't be true. It took a long time to get the Watchtower out of my system and I don't think my experiences, as a Jehovah's Witness, or the aftermath, are all that different from what others have gone through. Weather you're a current Witness, living in hell on earth, agonizing over what to do, or an ex Watchtower slave, making a life for yourself, we've all made the same journey, one way or the other. We all have the same story to tell. Which can be summed up as "conditional love and betrayal" at the hands of those you trusted.


    One more thing before I end. I didn't experience the "Body of Elders" in the way many of you have. When I left it really hadn't taken full effect. No fade for Kathy and I, we just walked away. I will say, from what I have read over the last several years, including Ray Franz book, it is without a doubt the most insidious burden the Society has ever placed on the backs of Jehovah's Witnesses... Highhanded, kangaroo court, lynch mob mentality, unjust, power monger, dictator, thug, bully, Gestapo like stalking of everyone...are a few words and phrases that come to mind. What a millstone to hang around the necks of many humble, loving people, who wish only to serve God and others.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Quentin,

    I read your very interesting story and hope you are happy now. I am absolutely baffled as to why this stupid religion does this to people! Here you are TRYING to bring somebody IN!!! The person is interested and studying and yet these morons go on a campaign of harassment to drive said people out the door. Just makes no sense.

    I wonder, however, if they are angry you didn't go for one of the 'spiritual sisters' who was already there and felt this was a snub? Too bad for them. You can't help it if you didn't find anybody there attractive. It also is not appealing to have your 'courtship' scrutinized and examined under a magnifying glass by every idiot there. At least by dating somebody 'outside' you could relate to them in an environment free of the oppressive atmosphere of control freaks and snoops. I always thought it was so damn pathetic about seating arrangements and how you couldn't sit with somebody unless it was 'official' that you and they were 'serious'. My god, you would almost be made to feel like you were a celebrity in the news! (I think is also why some JWs start to think too much of themselves, because they have been the center of attention.)

    Anyway, it sounds like it has been many years you have been out of this insanity and can just look back and see it as a bad dream!!!

  • Quentin
    Quentin

    LHG, I too have often wondered why they turned on me as they did and why they ran Kathy off, she was truely interested. Makes no sense, but, what the wt does in general makes no sense. At the time I never gave it much thought, she was a "study" who was about 3/4 of the way through the truth book. Getting married seemed to be a logical step toward bringing her totaly in.

    "Anyway, it sounds like it has been many years you have been out of this insanity and can just look back and see it as a bad dream!!!" How we were delt with was the bad dream, especialy when her good friend turned on her, not me, her. I often think, had I stayed, how I would have become a misrable jw in a misrable marrage, had it not been for Kathy, she is my rock. Turned out to be the best thing that ever happened.

    " I wonder, however, if they are angry you didn't go for one of the 'spiritual sisters' who was already there..." Hmmm, you could be right. It would explain some things. At lest, when I left I had someone to go to and with. Sadly there are many who do not. Things were rocky the frist five years. I will always remember this saying "Vinegar in freedom tastes better than honey in slavery." Heh...heh...heh...over our thrity-five years togather we have drank lots of vinegar, but, we did so in freedom, not at the whim of those lording it over us. Our terms, our freedom.

  • flipper
    flipper

    QUENTIN- WOW ! What a story. Thanks for sharing. You like so many others WERE certainly mistreated. Awful. I feel ya. I was treated shabbily as well. I hope you and your wife found real happiness.

    LONG HAIR GAL-

    It's upstanding folks like Quentin who genuinely are nice, decent , kind people who make this JWN board tick in a good way ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • CandleSurgeon
    CandleSurgeon

    I d/a'd when I left because I didn't want to see the elders. I also moved 45 minutes away and did not tell anyone where I was going. I knew my friends would cut me off and the elders were only going to try to guilt me into "coming back to the truth."

    But I can say, from watching the elders for years I was honestly scared they would stalk me, I had seen it happen many times before. That and I was often picked to go out in service with two elders and while I sat in the back they discussed "congregational matters" and I learned so much about their tactics. Stalking is the right word for what they do.

  • flipper
    flipper

    CANDLESURGEON- That was very smart of you not to let the elders know where you were moving. I did the same thing back in 2004 when I moved from the area I had been attending meetings at. One particular elder REALLY wanted to stalk me- he even hunted me down in an antique store where I was working and started interrogating me. So, yeah, I agree with you - I know how they operate too, " stalking " isn't too severe of a word at all in describing what they do.

    When you mentioned siting in a back seat listening to two elders talk in a front seat- I remember that as well ! It was always in hushed tones and sinister and top secret when they'd discuss stuff. Pretty eeerie. Peace out, Mr., Flipper

  • Quentin
    Quentin

    "... I hope you and your wife found real happiness..." (flipper)

    Thank you sir!! We found it, it's called un-conditionl love....

  • flipper
    flipper

    QUENTIN- I'm so glad you and your wife found happiness . Tremendous. I too have learned about unconditional love since leaving the witnesses. It is fantastic ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • laverite
    laverite

    Flipper - you are such an amazing person. So kind and encouraging. Even though your responses are to others, I often feel so encouraged just after reading them. Your posts always get to me somehow...They encourage me, entertain me, amaze me...etc. I am thankful for you being here. I read everything you post and enjoy each of your contributions!

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    No, but I was never baptized. I believe that my parents did receive many "shepherding calls" though and I'm sure they were partially related to my absence from meetings and eventually going off to college.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit