Are Jehovah's Witness men good catches?

by garyneal 77 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Butterflyleia85

  Have you while you were still in (or those who are currently still in) thought that the best thing that would've happened to you was for you to hitch up with a JW man? For those who married 'worldly' men, did you secretly wish he could become a Jehovah's Witness man? Or when things weren't going well in your marraige to your 'worldly' man, did you believe that things would've been better had you have married a Jehovah's Witness man?

  Don't tell my fiance... But Yes.

  A JW man though that wasn't so haughty were he thought he deserved miss perfect or clingy that lacked security.

  My mom married a non JW and will I didn't want to make the same mistake she did. My fiance is non JW and I wanted to make it work so I did deep research to make sure this is what I truely wanted, no wishy washy... I made up my mind and I am not going back.

  Now sence I'm not really married to my fiance I can't really say... but I do believe that all marriages have their ups and downs, but I would never say to my fiance I wish this or that! I'm proud of him and I never want to hurt him or make him think I doubt our relationship/marriage.
• 

  EmptyInside

  garyneal, the irony of it all is that since your wife and sister-in-law aren't baptized, they aren't considered Witnesses so, the kind of Witness man they imagine would not consider them. That being said, I am a born-in Witness and still considered active, and I have to laugh, when I hear women acting like it is so easy to find a good Witness guy, or any single, Witness man for that matter. I, up until now, had my heart set on finding a nice, spiritually mature brother. But, now I'm in my 30's and every year I realize there is less of a chance on meeting someone in the organization. The ones my age are already married and raising families or if they're single, they're a bit off. And then, there is the divorced man with kids and lots of baggage. When there is the odd, normal nice single/divorced Witness man available, it's like take a number. But, anyway, the next time you overhear your wife and sister-in-law lamenting on how they wish they had some nice Witness brother, just smile and say good luck finding that ladies. It's a needle in a haystack.
• 

  garyneal

  EmptyInside:

  After reading your post and the posts that YKnot wrote concerning the man shortage. Maybe I should've become a witness at an earlier age after all.

  But in all seriousness, you're right, no real witness man would consider either one of them if he is looking for a 'baptized' sister. Especially if the 'baptized' sisters are almost pouncing on any available brother who isn't too off putting.

  Butterfly:

  Since your dad wasn't a witness, how would you describe your childhood? I ask this because, as you know, I am not a witness, my wife wants to become one, and we have a daughter.
• 

  LouBelle

  I never even went out with a JW - I didn't measure up - in that I wasn't thin, gorgeous and the most important thing ... fawning over them. What I observed is that JW men definately had an "air" about themselves - they knew there were more sisters than brothers so pretty much thought they were gods' gift. They wanted to be the head and lead and dominate.

  Give me a man of the earth thanks. Someone who will also just let me be me and not try dominate me (in a bad way)
• 

  zagor

  She then said that if she could find her ideal man, it would most likely be a Jehovah's Witness man

  lol.. that is an age old "nice guy" argument that many women use in different incarnations, that is meant to mean something else, kinda semi oxymoron.
  
  I guess the difference with witnesses is that they put men through systematic wussification program, softening them and suppressing their natural masculinity. One would almost wonder why they don't just inject them with Estrogen (hell at least we'd have nice drag shows lol) instead of making men going against their nature.
  I remember often wondering as a dub why wtbs was so against men exuding masculine presence and confidence in themselves. After all Jesus they say they follow was not a wussy. Heck he took a whip and kicked some ass in the middle of the "god's temple" i.e. he fought for what he believed in. But it didn't take much thinking to see why. It is easy to control dormant morons, yes-men who can hardly fart without consulting if their conscious, ahem, "Society" would approve of it.
  Mind you the same argument can also be applied to witness women who often develop skewed expectations of their husbands and then everyone wonders why it doesn't work, why guy eventually says 'f*ck this' etc.
  
  So I guess she would be better off reassessing what she means by "Jehovah's Witness" a.k.a a "nice guy" is it a kiss-ass or is it a self-actualized man, aware of his presence and place in this world. I find that most normal "worldly girls" love second, unless they have a baggage of some sort, then again most normal guys stay clear of any baggage and find elegant way out of it if caught by accident.
• 

  keyser soze

  For whom? To faithful JW women who wish to remain so, and accept the idea of headship, then yes. If you meant in general, to a woman who might not share that bond with him, then no. The real question should be, is being a JW a good fit for an independent, free-thinking woman, or man for that matter.
• 

  babygirl30

  I used to truly believe JW men were the 'ish' and was taught that a Bethelite would be the ULTIMATE catch...yeah...well....that was until a JW kicked my arse of course! Wonder why I suddenly don't feel the same anymore...LOL
• 

  dgp

  Gary, I am here for her if she should want out. And I am doing my homework, believe me. I already bookmarked your channel on You Tube and a hell, sorry, a "sheol" or "Hades" of resources. I already spent a good sum of money in books and stuff, and, believe me, I have benefitted myself. It will not be easy for anyone to dupe me into anything in the future.

  It doesn't seem like she is fading. I do believe that she is sinking down, and she seems to feel that becoming more and more of a witness will help her. She has one of the stress diseases so often associated with JW women, and I know for a fact that she doesn't use that to miss meetings. I even asked one person the question of how I could know whether someone is fading, other than by missing meetings, and this person, a respected member of this forum, could not think of any one specific sign of it. So, at least for all outward appearances, she is not fading. And then, she wanted me to convert to the religion, which I believe means that she is not expecting to leave it any time soon. She may have doubts, but she knows she will be in for a long time. I don't know if it is that she truly, truly believes, or whether she finds she can't go anywhere else.

  What I regret the most is the idea that, should she have any, all her doubts will coalesce when she's old. Better late than never, I suppose.

  I agree with Keyser Soze. A JW man is suitable for a JW woman, but, from what I read here, not for a different kind of a woman. "Suitable" here does not necessarily refer to his being a good husband, but being a good member of the society. Which is an awful mistake. It's like considering that someone is a good catch because he is a good accountant.
• 

  greenie

  I agree with DGP on the description of suitable. And GaryNeal, I think while your wife may think/have thought a JW would be the ideal mate, it's only due to the suitable factor. What I mean is, the JW way is not just a set of beliefs, it's a lifestyle. So, a JW man definitely would have been more suitable to that lifestyle. I would bet that in your situation even a man that didn't practice a religion and didn't object to the kids being raised solely JW (as opposed to your being religious and wanting to play a role in your daughter's religious upbringing) would have been more suitable. However, it does not mean that some mythical JW man would have been a better match for her based on personality and emotion. You fit the bill there. To me and to most people, I think that would be the more important thing, unfortunately for JWs, that is not the case. I think personal emotions matter less to them.

  And I have definitely had this conversation before and it is very painful to hear their would've, could've, should've. I agree with Ynot that it's better left alone.
• 

  dgp

  And, Greenie, I would add that no one forced the woman to marry Gary. What's more, Gary didn't know what he was getting into, while she did. If she's not happy, she can leave him. Otherwise, won't she please accept headship.

  Yes, it hurts to hear that you're below their level.