Confessing (page 6)

Frenchy

Struggle
One other thing I would like to address.
Your statement: "Or course I can pray to Jehoavah God one-on-one. And yes I can be guided by him."
Can you really? Suppose that by reading Scripture after praying to God for his guidance that you come away with a concept different from the one promoted by the WTBS. Are you free to follow the dictates of your own mind? You know very well that you are not. So you are not free to ask God for guidance in his Word. You are only free to pray to God to accept WTBS' word, not His.
Please remember that they have a tendency to change their minds as to what God's Word means over the years. How would you feel if, after turning this person down instead of following your heart, next month or next year an article comes out in the Watchtower saying that it's now okay to marry someone not a JW? It's happened with many other things. There was a time when a wife could not scripturally get a divorce from her husband for bestiality. There was a time when you could not get an organ transplant. There was a time when you could not choose an alternative to military service. ALL of this and much more has changed. Think about it.

-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

RR

She was intelligent, attractive, well educated. She had very high morals, a great sense of humor, a good job and was in great shape financially. We also were in love with other.

She apparently had one flaw ... she was a JW.

"People in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones"

OrangeVale Bob

RR,
She did have flaws, but being JW wasn't one of them. That was my flaw.
When I went back to the org. for the 2nd time, I really wanted to stick it out. So I ignored her and jumped back into the jdub lifestyle with both feet.
A year and a half later I couldn't ignore the nagging doubts I was having any longer. Never once did I talk to an interested one at a door. I used to watch a lot of brothers start arguements with the householder or try to at least, sometimes they wouldn't bite. How embarassing! A lot of energy is being expended on a seemingly futile endeavor. All the growth I saw were the kids getting baptized.
The other thing I wondered about when I lived in Jamaica was the condition of the Branch office in Kingston. It was clean, but it really needed a paint job. The metal grates were rusting and the paint was washing off of the walls. Why did't they ever show a picture of that in the publications?
Ok enough of this. I have a lot of questions and not many answers.

STRUGGLE

Dear Frenchy

Thanks for saying I have a good attitude about all of this. Yes I have thought about if me and this man should progress to the point of marriage, and if any children are conceive, I know there would be alot of problems. As you mention he may become resentful if I can use that word of the time I spend serving Jehovah, He may not want any children raised in the truth. Yes I have considered it, that is why I mention earlier maybe it would be best if we just broke it off now, that way we could avoid alot of heartache. I won't dicuss the subject with him, (confessing to the elders) that really uspets him, he has know people who have gotten disfellowhsip for various reasons, and does not understand why they have the right to do it. Needless to say I can't talk to him about my problem.

And I do feel like I can be guided by Jehoavah. Maybe I worded it wrong but, what I was trying to say I am not independent of the org. so therefore I feel that Jehovah would still guide me. Do you understand what I am trying to say?

You really had alot to say, I appreciate it, I am still thinking about it. Again I am by nature an honest person, but the thought of getting dis'f could change that. We have not been together since it happen, we talk but thats about it. I miss being around him. He wants me to come over, But I don't think I should. The less I do the less I have to worry about.

RedhorseWoman

Struggle, reading your last post has made me feel very sad. I'm sitting here thinking about your giving up a definite chance at happiness with a man you obviously love so that you can do what you have been told is what Jehovah expects of you.

I admire your determination to do what is right. However, those of us who are speaking with you are speaking from the heart....and from experience. I'm looking down the road into your future and wondering how you will feel knowing that you threw away a good man who loved you for the sake of an organization of men.

I know that you'll do what you feel you need to do. Please pray about this and please put the mental programming aside when you do. ****HUGS****

Please take care.

STRUGGLE

Thanks RedhorseWoman

I will continue to pray about it. Either way it is going to hurt.
It will hurt if I let him go. It will hurt if I keep him, that conscience of mind. He is a very sweet man. I think about him alot.
He's very considerate.

Did'nt mean to make you sad. Thank you again for the concern and advice.

Hugs and Agage to you!

Edited by - Struggle on 31 December 2000 0:29:18

larc

Struggle,

A lot has been said here, and I can't really add more to either side of the issue. I would like to ask a "what if" question. What if the love of your life went with you to the kingcom hall, say once a week for a couple months, then you got married at the kingdom hall. Would they marry you their? If not, and you married somewhere else, say a civil ceremony, not a church, would you be disfellowshipped? I guess what I'm asking, are there any alternatives between the two extremes?

Frenchy

STRUGGLE:

what I was trying to say I am not independent of the org. so therefore I feel that Jehovah would still guide me. Do you understand what I am trying to say?

I'm not sure I do understand. If you are NOT INDEPENDENT of the org. then that makes you DEPENDENT.

-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

STRUGGLE

To Larc

No I would not be dis'f for marrying an unbeliver, probaly marked for awhile. I don''t know

To Frenchy

Different in what sense. I am a bad seed anyway it goes, so in the end I guess it really does not matter. I have loyalty to the org. Yet at the same time, my treachous heart is with this man. You know when that heart gets involved you are not thinking clearly.

Someone mention the word "program". Again this is all I know. Beleive when I have dicuss with other people their religious conviction. I find tht this religion is it for me. Again even though I was raised in the truth, I did'nt get baptize until I was in my 20's.

So can you separte the two. Jehovah and the org.? Is it possible.
Do any of you still believe in Jehovah?

larc

Struggle,

If you won't get disfellowshipped, then I think you should marry the man.

I wish you wouldn't practice verbal abuse on yourself, stuff about being evil, terrible, bad, whatever words you used. Doesn't it say clearly that we have all sinned and fallen short? A lot of OT sinners where a lot worse than you and they were judged as OK. Peter denied Christ three times and he was forgiven, and some JW's elders and others have done some pretty rotten things. I think your "sin" is very minor by comparison. In fact, I think it's so minor that you shouldn't bother the Elders with it. They're busy people.

Confessing

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