Can't speak with me, unless they need something (page 4)

Can't speak with me, unless they need something

sammielee24

they are allowed to associate for necessary family business which would include keeping in contact with grandkids. It feels like theyare being overly strict according to your words.

I'm not sure where you live but I think a lot of folks would be happy to be in so lenient congregation...family business doesn't include 'keeping in touch' with grandkids. Family business is primarily death related....and perhaps it would be nice if the Watchtower Society got their rules straight. Either print out a list of family business allowances and make all congregations toe the line or else drop the crap. It's all utter nonsense and idiocy. Any sane person that could so easily give up contact with their kids over a cult shouldn't be having contact with grandchildren unless supervised..I'm beginning to really believe that too many of these rules are taken to the extreme by people who might have some mental instability and the Watchtower Society should be addressing those issues. sammieswife.

OnTheWayOut

Stan, sorry about your parents following the fringe of the rules. Thanks for your last post clearing up things a bit.
I may be in the same boat as you with my mother, as I have never been DA or DF but she was worried that she might have to shun me.
I don't have kids, though. That makes it easier.

For now, my mother doesn't shun me. I think in your shoes, I would still respond if they called for "physical" help.
I would show them I am the better person, but if they shunned me while I was changing their tire, I would tell them what good Christians they really are showing themselves to be.

carla

Emotional blackmail and extortion only work if both parties agree. Jw's are users, sometimes we need to take a break from such toxic people, if possible. If they really need a tire changed they can call a service station, need a tree trimmed & cleaned up? call a service. There is really no need for 'family business' other than death & dying.

If you treated a jw the way they treated df'd ones they would be shocked and appalled at YOUR unchristian behavior. Imagine calling them and telling them that as long as they remain a jw you & your kids will no longer have any contact with them? they would be hollering 'persecution' all over the place. Once again for the jw's it's -do as I say not as I do.

journey-on

It is so difficult to follow the simple message and example of Jesus Chirist. He would NEVER have stood for that!

But, lo and behold! Along comes Paul and other imperfect men, and in their effort to grab control of the emerging Christian movement, they put these strict rules into place. This keeps the people in line and more easily lead and takes them away from the REAL message of Jesus.

reniaa

i'm not sure I agree with you there sammie since I have seen it mean exactly that, there is a lot of latitude of personal choice with family business upto the individual on what they conclude is necessary. The posters parents are being very strict since the poster hasn't been df'd or Da'd themselves so this doesn't really apply to them.

The elders manual itself says it will not df for association within families.

the bible has a few scriptures on association what they mean is again upto your viewpoint what you take from it.

1 Corinthians 5:9
I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—

1 Corinthians 5:11
But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

2 Thessalonians 3:14
If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed.

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 (New International Version)

12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you." [a]

i'm not sure I agree with you there sammie since I have seen it mean exactly that, there is a lot of latitude of personal choice with family business upto the individual on what they conclude is necessary. The posters parents are being very strict since the poster hasn't been df'd or Da'd themselves so this doesn't really apply to them.

For me it isn't a matter of why a person is not a JW..the words DF/DA/Fader..they don't mean anything at all. Either you are a JW in good standing, attending meetings, doing what you are supposed to do or you aren't. The legality of the terminology is just a smokescreen for very unchristian and very destructive action.

That being said, I have a letter from my husbands family telling me that family business is death or dying. That is considered necessary. Births, weddings and grandkids are not necessary. This is a family with their own built in PO so they follow the rules pretty strictly.

As I said, the Watchtower should be printing a set of rules as to what is allowed and what is not. That would eliminate one congregation or Elder saying one thing and another saying something else. A lot of older people believe they can't have any association and that is not dispelled by the society..it should be. They might misinterpret something and they shouldn't have to be put in that position..it should be clear. The whole concept of things being a conscience matter is just fog over a letter...it's a way of saying if you do it..you could be in a position where we might want to do something about it...sammieswife.

Can't speak with me, unless they need something

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 (New International Version)

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