Any Suggestions For An Out of Control Teen Into Sex, Drugs & Alcohol?

by minimus 41 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  minimus

  I think jail is where he'll be headed.
• 

  Amazing

  Having raised four children, two boys and two girls, I was fortunate to not have any rebellion or serious issues. I don't know what I would do to turn around a problem child ... I guess I would have to start with my own parenting skills, and get some help. Hopefully, some of the experts could be of help. There is an advertisement on TV about a course in turning around kids who are defiant and act out ... I might be tempted to buy it and see if it would help.
• 

  minimus

  Jim, I think one's parenting skills could be at issue too. I think some kids are tougher than others. I have 1 30 year old. She never was a problem/.
• 

  undercover

  Yup! and that's all I can base it on is my experience of when I was a kid. I could ride my bike until it was dark and not worry, I could stand in front of my house without fear of being shot at or hit with a stray bullet, I could play outside and not have to deal with drug dealers, I could go on and on.

  Things kids deal with today in 2009 I didn't have to deal with in the 60's and 70's. I never experienced a class mate being killed, my kids have. Some bring on the problems for themselves some have no choice because it's their enviornment and they can't escape it or don't know how.

  There were neighborhoods around when I was a kid that weren't safe after dark. But there are neighborhoods around now where kids can ride their bikes till dark, no stray bullets, no drug dealers. I live in one. Kids play until after dark and ride their bikes all over.

  The potential is always there anywhere for a stranger or a family member to do something bad, but it was around when we were kids as well. I remember a certain family member that none of us kids were allowed to be around. It wasn't until I was much older and after this person died, that I learned that he had a "problem". Today he would be on a list that any parent could access and know his record of being a pedophile. In my time, your only protection was if parents knew and kept you away.

  When I was in school, one school I went to (bussed in to, I should say) was surrounded by bad neighborhoods. There were drug dealers on the street corners along with winos and hookers. I had 3 classmates killed. One shot, one in a car wreck, one suicide.

  I'm not saying that teens don't have pressures that we didn't have, but I don't think it's so bad that we have to live in such a way that we instill fear in our kids or teens.
• 

  minimus

  I think today's kids are exposed to more damaging things than we were in the 60s and 70s.
• 

  teela(2)

  Time is all I can suggest. There comes a time when you are living this way when you decide its time to change. I was lucky I was still alive and had not been busted. There was not "moment" when my life changed I just got sick of living that way.
• 

  cawshun

  A lady in our neighborhood lost her son this past year to overdose of alcohol and xanx at a party, he just graduated high school that year. He started out smoking dope and moved on to meth and then just partying any chance he got. The family did all they could to try to get him on the right track. The family is having a very difficult time of it now. None of them are jw's.

  Death may come before hitting rock bottom. What a waste of a young life.
• 

  bebu

  Hi Min,

  In our state we have a Youth At Risk program. Sounds like your son's friend qualifies. Have them contact DSHS and explain the risky behaviors he is getting into. In the case of my son's former girlfriend (who ran off for 2 weeks), they first put her in juvenile detention for a night or two, and then she had to go to court. She asked to get emancipated, but the judge told her off so fast her head spun. He ordered her to early curfew, NO missed school, NO problems at school, and if her parents called in any problem at all--she would get at least 1 week in juvenile detention.

  Scared her into being behaved. She's doing MUCH better.

  I had NO IDEA that resources like these were available, because most people usually find out about them after crimes are committed. I was able to use this information to request and receive counseling for our son, who was borderline for being at-risk. The counselor told him, after hearing everything, that if he refused to obey me when I told him to stay home, then he would be entered into the program and have restrictions.

  Scared him into listening to me much more.

  I hope that your friends can get help for their son soon!!

  bebu
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  My grandson Julian suggests that this young man needs attention from adults. I suggest that he is not a bad kid, but rather one who is sad and treating his sadness with pot and sex. He sounds like he has thrown up his hands, feeling like life has really let him down. Moving him away from that neighborhood and school and finding mentors for him could make a difference. 15 year olds need adults and parents to be adults and parents. They need boundaries. I recommend the parents both seek counseling and take parenting classes as well. Hate the actions, not the kid. And he is a kid.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Divorce is such a bad ideas when kids are involved. I realize that sometimes divorce is necessary, but parents would serve their children better by working together, as a married couple, to finish raising their children. And when you have a teenager, it's no time to be selfish. This is a crucial time for kids, when they should be learning to make decisions, self control and laying the foundations for their adult life. This child needs intervention and he needs it YESTERDAY.