Someone in my family died this week - I am not doing well

by BonaFide 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    take a big breath and remember that this also shall pass and you will gain a measure of happiness again. What you describe is the normal process of grieving. There will be brighter days ahead. I feel your loss as I have lost a loved one too. Hang in there and sincere condolences from me Wanna

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    A close friend is also dying right now..he has Emphesema and is having a hard time breathing..his wife is very angry at him because she nagged and begged him for years to quit smoking..only after he was diagnosed did he finally quit..too late...
    Now she blames herself because she thinks she could have been more aggresive.

    My hubby loved to build RC airplanes..which meant long hours in the basement working with all kinds of glue and other chemicals to put the material on the planes..there were times I would go down there and couldn't breath because of the smell. I begged him to get out for a while or even open the windows to get some fresh air down there..he would go right on working. When he died from lung cancer that was the only thing we knew of that could have killed him. He had never smoked in his life.
    After he died I thought I should have made him quit or went somewhere else to work on the airplanes.

    We can always find a reason to blame ourselves..but it doesn't change anything. We just don't know. It is out of our hands...

    All we can do is remember how much we loved them and that we really did do the best WE could do at the time...

    Big hugs to you..

    Snoozy

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Bonafide, we spent our lives as witnesses subordinating our feelings and ourselves in order to please others. Don't get bogged down in what you "should" do and do what you need to. If you need to weep like a child, DO IT. If you need to be alone, do so, but not too long as it can become a trend. Don't worry whether you'll see him again. He is part of you and you will see him in your mirror and hear him in your speach and in your laugh. You'll see. It takes time, sometimes a LONG time but you will smile again. Don't measure your grief against others. Man, woman and child all mourn a loss. Do it YOUR way. Sorry for your loss, I know the pain and guilt. W.Once

  • Gram
    Gram

    Please accept my sincerest sympathy. I too have been through this, losing my husband on December 11, 1990 and my mother on December 27, 1990 - 16 days apart. BUT, we survive and I think that there is an inner protective device that kicks in when you really need it most. You will get through this. You must never sink into any feelings of guilt! Please remember this and reflect on good memories shared by both of you. Take it one day at a time, it does get better.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Sorry for you. At least he was proud of you. My father passed 2 yrs ago, now. We were estarnged most of our lives. I kinda got things worked out w him a couple of yrs before that.

    He isn't really gone, though. I can feel him there, on the other side. In my first serious focussed meditation, i also saw my long dead brother. Might sound like hogwash. That's ok. You can try it, if you want.

    I see no evidence, whatsoever to support the resurrection doctrine. Reincarnation is more likely. Many people have provided evidence of past lives, although i haven't.

    Since he was proud of you, he may be watching out for you from the other side, as much as they can, from there.

    S

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    sincere and heartfelt condolences

    godspeed you to a place
    where comfort is manifest

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Please realize that it's okay to be emotional at this time. It's okay to miss your pop. None of us on this forum are going to judge you for your grief.

    Try not to be too hard on yourself. Your father knew that you love him. He was happy to see you each and every time you went to visit him.

    Much love to you.

    Robyn

  • bonnzo
    bonnzo

    ((((bona fide)))) sorry for your loss. i too, am emotional. i, like you, don't care if people see me cry. i lost a sister this year and i am still not doing well. i wonder about the resurrection hope also, but i take comfort in knowing that my sister is not suffering anymore. if i see her again, it will be a wonderful bonus in addition to knowing her while she was here. meanwhile, my deepest condolences. i still believe in god for now, so i will pray for you.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    I am so sorry for your loss. You should cry all that you need to. When your father dies, it doesn't matter how old you are, your daddy died. I know that the world looked just different after my dad's death. Everything changed in inexplicable ways. You will know what I mean as soon as your head can make sense of your heart's loss.

    Take care of yourself friend.

    Shelly

  • Trevor Scott
    Trevor Scott

    So sorry to hear this. Please accept my condolences.

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