I'm not good association......

by Switch 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Switch
    Switch

    Hi all. I've been away from JWD for a month or so. I've just been busy in life and am trying to rebuild, or should I say, make new friendships but it is slow-going. MissingLink and I haven't been to any meetings since April and have no plans in going back. The parents have pretty much been in denial and are still trying to "encourage" us. I think they are starting to realize we are serious since we didn't attempt to attend the DC.

    Today I'm crushed cuz one of my closest friends says she can't associate with me anymore. She simply deleted MissingLink as a friend on facebook cuz he wrote some scathing reviews of the Society's publications. Today I was deleted as a friend. I don't know why I would have expected any other reaction from her!! This is typical of what everyone goes through on JWD. I guess I was hopeful that she'd understand. I've been keeping a low profile since the beginning of the year so as not to get DF'ed for apostasy but now I'm really thinking that it doesn't matter anymore. I'm frustrated, angry and hurt that my friends have stopped calling and visiting simply because they haven't seen me at meetings. I suffered a few months of depression last year - you'd think they'd be worried about me!

    The way that JW's constantly judge people makes me want to SCREAM. I hope I'm never, ever like that again.

    Well, I had to get that out of my system. It's been up and down. today just happens to be a down day.

    -switch

  • milliemootoo
    milliemootoo

    I know it is so hard but you have to remember it is not personal and no doubt it is killing your friends too they have to act this way.

    Although I have been left 12 years I have only started look into this for myself recently and found this website yesterday but it has helped so much already.

    Thinking of you!

  • Switch
    Switch

    Thanks Milli. I suppose I knew in my heart that it just can't be any other way. There's no win-win situation for anybody that leaves the Hall. I'm just fooling myself thinking that I could still keep in touch with people I knew. Even though I haven't done anything to earn being DF'ed, I still get shunned for my choices. It's no fun. Or fair.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    It's tough when you realise all your friendships are conditional on support for a pulishing corporation.

    I'm glad you and MissingLink have each other. I hope you can find ways to make some real friends.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Among the witlesses, if you do not agree with the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger 100% of the time, and to the most complete possible extent, any "friendship" goes right down the drain.

  • Metamorphosis
    Metamorphosis

    I've come to many of the same conclusions as you. For awhile I thought I could have it both ways. But there is too high level of judgemental attitudes prevelent in JW's whether they realize they are doing it or not. I decided I needed to put on a "new" personality if you will. Best wishes to you and your mate as you deal with these issues. I've pretty much accepted the fact I will not be associated with any of my former friends but realize it's their choice not mine. I open myself as a friend to whoever is willing to accept me for who I am, as I accept them for who they are. You'll find you develop many more friendships quickly as you take this outlook - and friendships based on a deeper and more satisfying strength than simply belonging to the same denomination.

    Jeremiah aka Morph

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Every Witness that cut me out of their life did me a favor. My life just keeps getting better and better. The best thing I can have between me and a Witness is distance. I found when I had Witnesses for friends, I didn't have any friends.

  • LockedChaos
    LockedChaos

    Switch

    Harsh realities

    Some of the best people I know
    would cause JW's to run away
    wide eyed and screaming in fright.

    Hmmmmmmmmm
    Seems to be a good reason to keep
    a few such folk nearby.

  • LovesDubs
    LovesDubs

    It will get better. It will. I think we can all attest to the shallowness of the friendships we THOUGHT we had with the "friends" and the minute we dont toe the line...boom Jekyll and Hyde. You know you ALWAYS had to be careful what you said and how you expressed things even to the friends you were closest to. You could never say what doubts you had or what was on your heart. Not ever.

    So...there are 6 billion people on the planet. There are wonderful loving accepting folks out there waiting for the two of you to come into their lives. Dont grieve the loss of the JWs. They would only continue to bug you to come back and you wouldnt be able to move forward.

    hugs, LD

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    Switch, they are a F'd up bunch. Some that I didn't think would judge me have done a similar thing to me. They used to e-mail me several times a week and now I hear nothing.

    I look at like "Oh well, your loss." You are not losing anything, believe me.

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