getting over it - how long does that take?

by Switch 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • Switch
    Switch

    In December I started reading things and thinking with an open mind (for the first time in my life). I'm still discovering things daily that irritate me about the WTS. I've been to about half a dozen meetings since March. Have been laying low and avoiding friends from the Hall. Not that there is anything to avoid cuz they simply stop calling and dropping by whenever we aren't at the meeting that week.

    I'm still reading everything WT-related, old and new. And I'm supplementing that with loads of "apostate" books. The anger and disbelief (of 6 mos. ago) has lessened I suppose but it's still there. My question is--how long did it take for you to get over the anger and disbelief of being conned for years? Weeks, months, years?? I expect it'll probably lessen if I stop reading WT material but I seem to still need to prove things to myself so the absurd curiousity continues.

    Anyway, I'd love to hear your experiences.

    -switch

  • Octarine Prince
    Octarine Prince

    Classic answer -- It depends.

    The same effort you put into learning and thinking and acting the JW way should now be used to reprogram your mind.

  • sweet pea
    sweet pea

    I'm still with you I'm afraid and it's a year later.

    I'm addicted to JWD and know that I'd proably move on quicker if I stayed away from absolutely everything JW related. But, I think when all your best friends are still there and your family are shunning you then certain feelings will stay with you forever.

    I do know that a dear friend of mine from the board seems to have got over the worst and has settled into a certain acceptance of the whole experience and she's 7 years into her fade.

    But, the freedom is wonderful and more than makes up for the pain.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    If you know anything about A@G's experience, you know it hit me like a ton of bricks. I stopped meetings immediately, let my family and the elders know immediately. 2 and a half months into the process I think I am adjusting to being a normal perosn fairly well. I'm getting over ity. Of course the hardest part is to deal with the JW wife and other relatives.

    A@G

  • wings
    wings

    I can't remember...were you born in?

    If so it could take a life time. Not to leave you on that note.

    Resolve is in your grasp...you have a good man in your husband, and your are not alone there.

    Reconciling a lifetime of it can take longer.

    thinking of you today....wings

  • oompa
    oompa

    funny, that is why i must go back to therapy....three years for me, and i can still just explode at times....just told my wife if she wants to have the elders over to help me/us FINE....but they will have to learn why I am so angry at God right now and even more so with WT! I fluckin have a little problem.....just a tiny bit with being brainwashed my entire life...will not grow old even...and now...uh-oh....really good chance you are about to age at a face pace, will be wearing adult diapers and being spoon dammit....and oh thanks for letting me put ALL my life dreams on hold for a fluckin pipe dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I almost hopes this happens....I would like to hear them try and teach me why I have no right to be angry about this....oh it it also pisseth me off that God chose to wreak havoc on mankind for eating some fruit (thank you dear almighty geehber for all the earthquakes, typoons, tornatoes and disease...amen), and for adam and eve beeing to stupid to just run over and eat some more fruit from the goody tree of life....idiots..........oompa

  • Robert7
    Robert7

    I think one thing that affects the time to detox has to do with how 'deep' you were mentally in, meaning how deeply indoctrinated and mind controlled you were.

    I personally never got too deep, so for me it was a rather easy escape. However, it's been 6 months since I've been out, and I still have my 'therapy' here at JWD.

    So even if it's easy, you will realize how strong the mind control really is, and it will take some time...

  • MissingLink
    MissingLink

    Oh would you stop yapping with your apostate friends and make me some dinner!

    I'm probably 3 months ahead of Switch, and at this point I'm just irritated by the subject of the JWs. I think I'm pretty much ready to move on. Still have a morbid curiosity though I guess. Would love to help a few friends wake up before it really hits the fan.

    Good point Robert. I think it wasn't hard at all for me to drop the doctrine because I didn't really believe anyway. I always felt the witnesses were a bit off, but some day the light would get brighter and clear up all these details. For people who really believe it all its probably a much bigger adjustment.

  • changeling
    changeling

    It's been two years for us and we talk about it every day. When we are alone it's usually THE topic we discuss. But how couuld it not be? I was "born in" and left after 46 years, my husband was in since he was 19. It was our whole life. You don't go through a change like that casually.

    So, take it easy and don't obsess over obsessing. It is what it is.

    changeling :)

  • mind my own
    mind my own

    In my experience it has taken years but everyone is different. At least you are dealing with it head on b/c you don't want to suffer these feelings for the rest of your life by supressing them! I think it's great you are reading the material that you are b/c it is helping you cope with things. You are looking at it square in the face. Deal with it all upfront and then it will be over and you can truly live your life.

    Take it from me, I supressed it for years which is why I am here now.

    MMO

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