Well, you're kinda evil. They haven't reserved a place for you in Hell yet, but the leasing agents are starting their calls. (Sorry, no air conditioning.) We're guessing you find others' pain funny, your backstabbing knife is probably pretty sharp, and your sexual wiles have likely brought you enjoyment at the expense of your bunkmates a time or two. If more than one of those three things rings true, consider yourself a card-carrying evil person. If you're interested in recanting the evil thing, sensitivity counseling isn't a bad idea. Or else find a more sadistic career, like a bouncer or a metermaid. But hey, to each his own, and if your evilness fits, wear it. Keep reading for more evil details!
So, you have a healthy sex drive — good for you! No one likes a prude. In general, you give as well as you get, though everyone can get a little selfish under the covers, so don't beat yourself up about going for the big one on your birthday. And while you're at it, go ahead and admit it — you've probably flashed a big smile to get your way in the bedroom before. But for the most part, you strike us as a pretty generous lover who's doing well at keeping your raw, sexual power in check. Yeah, baby!
Yes, you're always smiling, but you hold grudges for years, repress your anger, and then blow up in conniving ways — you've got "postal worker" written all over you. If you want to stop the migraines, look into anger-management classes at the local Y. Passive-aggressive people are often very sympathetic, which is why they hide their anger. So take solace in knowing you're still coming off as kind-hearted, you sneaky, two-faced back-stabber.
Ooo hoo — you're one evil muther. Your heart is blacker than Darth Vader's helmet. For goodness' sake, next time think about that old lady's feelings before you push her down the escalator. And, really — you know as well as anyone that dropping kitties out the window to see if they can land on their feet is just an excuse to act evil. Yes, it's all part of being a free spirit who doesn't answer to anyone. Right or wrong, it's a fun way to live. But be careful — it all comes full-circle in the end.
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