i'm being attacked from all angles (page 2)

R.Crusoe

Unless yoy wish to reverse witness and use links etc to whatever you feel proposes facts or better still 'notions' of otherness about what constitutes human belief, it is better to politelty and firmly describe your intent - that you are having time out and need time out and dont know how long it will take but whenever you feel 'forced' it just prolongs the 'time out' you feel you need to get your head together!

Anyone who tells you this is satans doing is obviously pressing you to study what they want even more than you already did all you rtime as JW so don't let them! Simply restate the above till you get the time out to come to terms with your personal 'feeling'.

You owe it to yourself!

Anyone who cares about YOU will want to support you in doing what YOU feel!

llbh

Just ignore them and be as polite as possble.

They will leave you alone sooner or later. Do not play their games though

Regards

David

llbh

Just ignore them and be as polite as possble.

They will leave you alone sooner or later. Do not play their games though

Regards

David

LouBelle

I read that as being attached by all angels. Don't play their games - you take control.

nelly136

would it be financially/physically etc possible to move out of their immediate reach?

maybe a town or two away or into next county?

maybe its time to start looking at a fresh start and new boundaries.

Octarine Prince

Your mistake: going to Memorial

Their mistake: thinking that meant you actually gave a shit about JW religion anymore.

Your plan: tell them thanks, but no thanks. Then MOVE. Quickly.

jgnat

You've always had trouble turning people down or disappointing them. Do you have a similar problem with telephone solicitors? How do you turn them down? Maybe it is easier because you see the telephone solicitors as "strangers" and these others as authority figures or friends. Perhaps you empathize with them and imagine they are severely disappointed if you don't go along with their plan.

Maybe if you rephrase it in your mind as well-meaning, aggressive advice, rather than an attack. Maybe imagine instead of loving concern, these people are asking ANYONE who showed up at the memorial the same question. It's not loving concern, it's duty. If you see them rather as telephone solicitors doing their duty, perhaps it will be easier to turn them down.

Sirona

	20 Ways To Say No

Feel free to use this tip sheet / checklist as you tackle your own ""do-it-yourself"" organizing projects. If you would like to REPRINT or DISTRIBUTE this information, please click here for reprinting instructions.

I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS

let people know when you have accepted other responsibilities
no need to make excuses if you don't have any free time
no one will fault you for having already filled your plate

I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT

you might be uncomfortable with any of a number of issues
the people involved, the type of work, the morale implications, etc.
this is a very respectful way to avoid a sticky situation

I AM NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW RESPONSIBILITIES

you aren't saying that you will never help out again
just that you feel your schedule is as full as you would like now
understanding your limits is a talent to be expected

I AM NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB

if you don't feel that you have adequate skills, that's okay
it's better to admit your limitations up front
the best way to avoid feeling overwhelmed down the road

I DO NOT ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK

life isn't about drudgery -- if you don't enjoy it, why do it?
don't be afraid to let someone know you just don't want to
someone else is bound to enjoy the work you don't

I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE ROOM IN MY CALENDAR

be honest if your schedule is filled
"filled" doesn't have to mean really filled
know when you are scheduled as much as you are willing and stop

I HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG PROJECTS

let people know that you want to do a good job for them
but you can't when your focus is too divided or splintered
you will be more effective if you focus on one project at a time

I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT

it doesn't matter what the commitment is
it can even simply be time to yourself or with friends or family
you don't have to justify -- you simply aren't available

I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH THAT

volunteering shouldn't mean learning an entirely new set of skills
suggest that they find someone who has experience in that area
offer to help out with something that you already know how to do

I KNOW YOU WILL DO A WONDERFUL JOB YOURSELF

people often ask for help because they doubt their own abilities
let them know that you have confidence they will succeed
you are actually doing them a favor in the long run

I NEED TO FOCUS MORE ON MY PERSONAL LIFE

don't be ashamed of wanting to spend time with your family
having a strong family is an important priority in and of itself
be willing to put your personal needs first

I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW

often, you have to focus your energies on a work-related task
you may have to give up some civic or community duties
if you don't do it, someone else will take on the task

I NEED TO LEAVE SOME FREE TIME FOR MYSELF

it's okay to be selfish -- in a good way!
treat your personal time like any other appointment
block off time in your calendar and guard it with your life

I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN DO A MEDIOCRE JOB

know when you aren't going to be able to deliver a quality product
the reason doesn't matter -- not enough time, wrong skills, etc.
whatever the reason is enough for turning a request down

I WOULD RATHER HELP OUT WITH ANOTHER TASK

saying no doesn't mean that you can't help at all
if someone asks you to do something you really despise, refuse
then offer to help with something you find more enjoyable

LET ME HOOK YOU UP WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN DO IT

if you aren't available to help out, offer another qualified resource
helping to connect people is a valuable service to offer
make sure the person you refer will represent you well

NO

sometimes it's okay to just say no!
just say it in a way that expresses respect and courtesy
leave the door open for good relations

NOT RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN DO IT LATER

if you really want to help but don't have time, say so
offer to help at a later time or date
if they can't wait for you, they'll find someone else

SOME THINGS HAVE COME UP THAT NEED MY ATTENTION

unexpected things happen that throw your schedule off
accept that you may need to make a few adjustments
it is temporary and you will have more time when life stabilizes

THIS REALLY IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT

it's okay to admit your limitations
knowing what you can handle and what you can't is a skill
your time will be more efficiently spent on something you do well

http://www.onlineorganizing.com/ExpertAdviceToolboxTips.asp?tipsheet=16

momzcrazy

If you don't have their lies memorized by now then you never will.

I told an elder the same thing. I said I didn't want an "encouraging shepherding call". As an elder's kid and former pioneer, I have either said it or heard it.

Just say no, that is not necessary.

momz

R.Crusoe

Nice Sirona!

i'm being attacked from all angles

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