Ok, so I've been DF'd for almost a year now, and out of the blue my dad asked me to go out for drinks with him. This is big because he's an elder in my former hall. He's only seen me once in the year I've been out, at my (step)grandfather's funeral (his father in law). I now have a beard, play in a band, have a wonderful woman in my life that I am very serious about, and I'm just happy to be alive. The "premise" of this meeting was to introduce me to a restaurant owner, so my band could play there, and to talk about helping him out with his business, as I used to be in the same business a few years back. I thought this was going to be a memorial invite, and a brow-beating session. Well...it wasn't. I was nervous all day, and had been praying about it. When I got there a strange calm came over me, like nothing was wrong at all. I came in and sat down and could see his hands were shaking, and he was nervous, but happy to see me. We talked about life, football, music, our jobs, my girlfriend, restaurants, etc. Nothing religious was said. We talked and drank for a little over an hour, and then left, out in the parking lot he hugged me, and told me how much he missed me, and "We have to do something about that". I told him that I didn't like it either, but I was not going to be a witness again ever. He said "Well, when you told me the other day that you and GF are thinking of getting married and having a family, I have to be a part of that. It would kill me to not be around my grandkids. We have to do something about this so we can spend time around each other again. I'm not sure what yet, but we'll work it out." I told him ok, and we left, we are supposed to meet up again next week.
See my dad was a wonderful father. He raised me on his own from the time I was 5, until I was 11 when he married my stepmom. My mom was only a weekend mother at that point in my life. I DO miss him, but I know that he desires to be a witness, and so does my step mom, so I don't cause any waves for them. I just let them be, and I continue living my life the best way I know how. Its very difficult, but I know that he can't support my choices on the holidays, birthdays, sleeping with my girlfriend, occasionally smoking a cigar, going to the Presbyterian church, etc. Recently, like the last 6 months or so, we've been talking on the phone every week, usually 2 - 4 times a week. I don't desire to see my step mom or her family, I also don't care about many people from my dad's family. I just want to have him, and my aunt (his little sister) involved in my life. They are the only ones that still speak to me, since I got DF'd.
My girlfriend and I have talked very seriously about my dad's family not being involved in our life OR with our (future) children, should we have any. Neither of us want ANY JW influence on our kids, we want them to have a very happy, normal childhood. We also have said that if the family won't speak to me, then they won't speak to our kids either. Its just such a pain in the ass, I wished this religion would just come to an end, or that my dad would "wake up", and realize he's serving a book company.