Things I Don't Get About Christmas

by Swan 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  Swan

  Hello All,

  It's been a while since I've started a post. Some of you may remember me. I'm writing tonight because I feel like such an outsider at Christmas sometimes. I find that at big Christmas parties I feel like I don't fit in. I'm always afraid I will blow it if there is a sing-a-long. I don't always understand the rules of Secret Santa or Gift Exchange, so I hesitate to participate, and then usually don't. There are so many things I never grew up with that people take for granted. Some things I don't think I will ever understand.

  I'm an atheist who celebrates the secular holiday of Christmas. In our office we adopted a family. I was one of the first to take a tag from the tree and return with a well thought out gift. Maybe it's because it was a chance to give a young child the Christmas gift I never had as a child. The deadline for our adoption is now upon us, and there are still 5 tags remaining on the tree. Some people in our office, who make the highest salaries in the whole organization, and who are very vocal about their fundamental religious beliefs, didn't participate. But they decorate their office, eat the Christmas goodies others bring in, etc. Knowing that they wouldn't volunteer, some of us donated some extra money to our Admin. Assistant, who was going to go out shopping tonight to get these remaining items that nobody else would take responsibility for. I just don't get this.

  Today we had a luncheon where all of our managers cooked homemade pasta and served it to the employees. These are the same managers that treat us like crap the rest of the year. Like Bob Cratchet, who was taken a back at Scrooge appearing at his door, I too was leery. What good is it to treat us nicely one day and then go back to being mean and miserly the rest of the year? In good conscience, I just couldn't eat their food. I skipped the luncheon and only showed up for the mandatory meeting. But I just don't get this.

  I don't participate in the gift exchange not only because the rules about drawing numbers, picking, and swapping make no sense, but also because I thought the purpose was to give the person something meaningful. I just don't get this either.

  Sometimes during Christmas I feel like the odd swan.

  Tammy
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  steve2

  Hi Tammy,

  You don't have to "get" something to participate in it. All kinds of things in life don't add up to me, but I choose to engage in them. I guess I'm just getting older and more accepting.

  I personally still can't get over the fact that Christmas was stolen from the Romans and then Christians go on about the "real" meaning of Christmas. Excuse me, I feel like saying, You guys stole this ancient festival from the Romans. That's the real meaning. Now, since you've stolen it, stop you're fussing and make it mean what you want it to!"
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  cognizant dissident

  You may not like this answer, but you are letting what other people do rob you of your joy. You can find the joy and meaning of helping needy children for yourself. True, not everyone in your office shared your joy, not every needy child on Christmas is looked after. That doesn't negate the joy and meaning to the ones that were helped by your actions and what sounds like the majority of people where you work. If your bosses do something nice for you on one day of the year, accept if and enjoy graciously. They may be inspired to do it more often! If they see other people taking 2 Christmas tags off the tree, it may give them a little prod. (Let them know subtlely).

  What I am saying is, give without expecting anything back and accept gifts graciously. It will make YOU happier. If you have your eye on what the other person is giving, you will always be comparing and the comparing mind is never satisfiedl If the place you work is truly so horrible, I suggest beginning your search for other opportunities.

  Cog
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  Double Edge

  I find that at big Christmas parties I feel like I don't fit in. I'm always afraid I will blow it if there is a sing-a-long. I don't always understand the rules of Secret Santa or Gift Exchange, so I hesitate to participate, and then usually don't.

  Don't sweat it.... I've been celebrating Christmas for decades, and I still don't get the "rules" on some of the offices secret santas or gift exchange. It's no "biggy" to go to whoever is coordinating the event and ask for clarification.... really, I do it all the time just to make sure I get it straight. (no one really cares if you need some 'guidance', because you won't be the only one asking)

  I'm an atheist who celebrates the secular holiday of Christmas. In our office we adopted a family. I was one of the first to take a tag from the tree and return with a well thought out gift. Maybe it's because it was a chance to give a young child the Christmas gift I never had as a child.

  You exemplify one of the "true" meanings of Christmas (giving to those in need) more than do a lot of Christians.... good for you.

  The deadline for our adoption is now upon us, and there are still 5 tags remaining on the tree. Some people in our office, who make the highest salaries in the whole organization, and who are very vocal about their fundamental religious beliefs, didn't participate. But they decorate their office, eat the Christmas goodies others bring in, etc. Knowing that they wouldn't volunteer, some of us donated some extra money to our Admin. Assistant, who was going to go out shopping tonight to get these remaining items that nobody else would take responsibility for. I just don't get this.

  Sounds typical for some of the "human race" in general - some people step up to the plate, others or observers. Also, it could be that they've shot their wade in donating to other charitible causes.

  Today we had a luncheon where all of our managers cooked homemade pasta and served it to the employees. These are the same managers that treat us like crap the rest of the year. Like Bob Cratchet, who was taken a back at Scrooge appearing at his door, I too was leery. What good is it to treat us nicely one day and then go back to being mean and miserly the rest of the year? In good conscience, I just couldn't eat their food. I skipped the luncheon and only showed up for the mandatory meeting. But I just don't get this.

  I've done that before....sometimes I think they throw those "celebrations" to ease their own consciences for treating people the way they do. I also think it makes a great statement when you don't buy into it and snub them (done that....hehe).

  I don't participate in the gift exchange not only because the rules about drawing numbers, picking, and swapping make no sense, but also because I thought the purpose was to give the person something meaningful. I just don't get this either.

  For the most part, giving something meaningful is usually for someone you know well or really like. Office gifts are usually just a "token" of acknowledgment of the Season....nothing cut in stone about those gifts being meaningful.

  Sometimes during Christmas I feel like the odd swan.

  Don't feel that way....just be yourself and enjoy the Season for the "positives" that you take from it...(like some feel-good music). Christmas means different things to different people. Like I said, your taking a total stranger under your wings to give them a gift is more Christ-like than a lot of things some Christians do this time of year.

  Merry Christmas.... Happy Holidays.... Season's Greetings <<<<< take your pick (just have fun!)

  D.E.
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  Swan

  Thanks D.E.
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  Swan

  Yes Steve, I agree.

  I personally still can't get over the fact that Christmas was stolen from the Romans and then Christians go on about the "real" meaning of Christmas.

  And why isn't the Christmas tree a palm tree, like most of the trees where Jesus was born? Because that tradition was "stolen" from Northern Europe as I'm sure has been discussed countless times on this board. Christmas is such an amalgam of ancient traditions from so many places, it makes sense that it is a secular holiday for U.S. with it's melting pot of diverse cultures.

  I don't get these slogans like "Jesus is the reason for the season!" and complaining about a minorah next to the Christmas tree in some public building. Some people in this area are very anti-immigrant (esp. Hispanic) and are complaining that the posada that Mexican Americans do at Christmas is eroding the traditional Christmas. Wha? I just don't get that either.

  Tammy
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  Swan

  Cog,

  I think you misunderstand. I have one co-worker who is Muslim. Of course I don't expect him to participate, because he gives to charity at a different time of the year (Ramadan). But I had hoped this family would think well of our office as a whole. Their hopes for a nice Christmas rest with us. We adopted them and if we don't come through... well that would be such a shame. It is hard to think we are so dysfunctional that a family is better off being adopted by someone else.

  It is just that after listening to all the fundamentalist religious rhetoric of some of these people at work, it is difficult to understand why they don't put their money where their mouth is when it comes to Christmas charity. In fact, they come up with reasons why they shouldn't give. I'm over there in my cube and just shaking my head, thinking if they had never had Christmas growing up, then maybe they would appreciate it more.

  I just don't get it.

  Tammy
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  oldflame

  Swan,

  I would not stress over it too much. In time things will come to you naturally. You don't have to celebrate to be a good person and that is what is more important ! Each of us to be the best we can be towards others, the golden key I would say. I have been out of the society for a good while now and for 10 years I never put up a tree or decorated anything. It did not matter to me if I had some place to go or not, but I was happy with that.

  Now this year it is different for me, I have a family and I feel like it's the right thing to do and not so much for myself but for my grandkids. It sure is a real warmth in your heart to see those kids faces light up on Christmas mourning. Even with all the crowds and the fighting in the shopping centers I think in the ends ? It all becomes worth it.

  So I guess what I am saying is don't worry, BE HAPPY ! Merry Christmas
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  heathen

  I'm with steve on this . Christmas came from the roman festival, the feast of saturnalia . A time when the rich would give gifts to the poor .It's interesting stuff if you get around the web to looking it up. I wasn't a j-dub but still agree with what they say about christmas , I have no love for christmas music or the fairy tale of santa claus and flying reindeer or elves in the north pole .I do like that allot of businesses will give time off with pay but many are not these days because of greed and cut backs.
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  Swan

  Well at work today it was reported that the entire family now has their gifts and their Christmas dinner. I'm feeling much better about that, but I still don't get the attitude of some.

  Tammy