Top Ten Lame Excuses Why The Watchtower Society Predictions Never Came True

by Homerovah the Almighty 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    Top Ten Lame Excuses Why The Watchtower Society Predictions Never Came True

    1. C. T. Russell measured the Great Pyramid with his hands, found to be inaccurate

    2. Judge Rutherford was dyslexic, year 1925 should have read 5291 instead

    3. C. T. Russell refused to wear glasses, says it made him look girlie

    4. Poor translation of the ancient Greek Scriptures, no one at Bethel could read or write Greek

    5. Freemasons moved in on GB members wanted a piece of the action

    6. Bets were made in 1969 that the Society could pull in 100 million before the end of 1975

    7. Nathan knor had a very small penis and needed all the power he could get his hands on

    8. For a short time Satan the Devil was a GB member, everyone thought he was Raymond Franz

    9. Year end bonuses were given out to GB members based on fiscal performance

    10. Judge Rutherford wanted mankind to die so he could start procreating again just like Adam

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk
    2. Judge Rutherford was dyslexic, year 1925 should have read 2525 instead

    Wouldn't that be 5291?

    8. For a short time Satan the Devil was a GB member, everyone thought he was Raymond Franz

    You take that back!

    Hasn't Satan been hated enough already?

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    David Letterman's writers are on strike (along with the other screen and TV writers).

    They can't be blamed for this list.

    JUST KIDDING HOMEROVAH !!

    I liked this one -- it's actually plausible: 6. Bets were made in 1969 that the Society could pull in 100 million before the end of 1975

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    It wasnt Jahs due time

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    It was the brothers fault - they expected it

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Jehoober wanted more people to come into the ark of salvation.

    (Of course, every day many thousands more are being born who are just destined to become birdfood after Armageddon anyhow. So the delay just means a bigger grand feast for the carrion birds.)

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    I changed the date NVR thanks for pointing that out

    Say if you guys want to add to this list please do, lets see what people come up with....cheers

    Have fun !

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    The light had to get brighter

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    I changed the date NVR thanks for pointing that out

    LOL!

    If only the other Almighty were so gracious.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Jehovah keeps changing his mind.

    The spiritual temple still needs cleaning (2000 yrs of built up crud got really stuck).

    S

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