Graves of loved ones - JWs allowed to visit?

by Inquisitor 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Inquisitor

  I didn't even know where my own mothers was for years and years.

  That is sad, Bumble Bee.

  Or maybe the fact that JW's are so disconnected from normal family feelings

  Yes, Gopher. Maybe it is that. Maybe it's one of those things for which a JW has been conditioned to feel guilty without being told. "Why would I go visit Nana's gravesite when that time could be better spent telling people about the ressurrection hope or being consoled by a spiritually mature elder." That kind of twisted reasoning.

  I was hoping to hear from some members Down Under to compare notes actually. Do their congregations look at this practice as a no-no, I wonder?

  INQ
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  sass_my_frass

  Hi Inquisitor. I've never heard this mentioned (unusual, since just about every situation that comes up in life is mentioned and commented on and made a 'conscience issue'. While a witness I never actually had anybody close to me die, so it never came up. But thinking about it... I think that it would be unusual for a JW to be told off for visiting a gravesite. If they were worried about that happening, they just shouldn't tell anybody they're going.
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  Saoirse

  My 'anointed' SIL buried my FIL's (her dad) ashes in her back yard under some rose bushes.

  My step-father did the same thing with his late wife and daughter. I thought he was just a kook. Even worse, after my mother married him she decided to "do the right thing" and dig up the dead wife and daughter and place the remaining ashes in a niche at the cemetery.

  My husband has a relative who used to carry her dead father's ashes around the house with her. Her husband recently died and I shudder to think what she'll do with his remains.
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  brinjen

  I never knew of anyone in my congregation who visited the graves of their loved ones. Come to think of it, as I recall they were always buried in unmarked graves as the general feeling was that person was now gone and living in jehoba's memory. I know of quite a few who felt headstones were "worldly and showy".
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  penny2

  I was really close to my granny even though she lived on the other side of the world. I went to visit the relatives a few years after she died but I could not get the JW side of the family to take me to the grave. They didn't give a reason for their reluctance but they took me to lots of other places. I couldn't work it out - it didn't occur to me that it might be frowned upon. Eventually I asked a non-JW relative to take me.

  I'm not sure what the Aussie attitude is - we haven't had any deaths in the family locally. I've never heard of any JWs visiting a grave though.
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  penny2

  I had a conversation with some relatives about this topic (very dedicated JWs). They brought up several examples of JWs they know, who visit graves of loved ones. One is an elder. They also said they would like to visit the grave of someone in the congregation who died and whose family have all moved away.