Mental Illness - diagnosed for me

by Crumpet 133 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LeslieV

  I am so glad Crumpet you faced your fears, and got the intervention that you need. With medication and counseling you can have a full and productive life. It is no different that any other medical illness, it is a chemical imbalance. You have no control of it, you just need the correct chemicals put back into your system, and your good to go.

  Just know that we are thinking of you, and I am proud of your willingness to print your story since it will help others. We sure still have a stigma attached to even whispering mental illness. It keeps people from getting the help that they need.

  Leslie
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  Tyrone van leyen

  I know your goin now Nina, but theres that point I make about myself again. I don't remember the good things people do, and seem to get overwhelmed by the negativity, Actually, Its true lots of people have offered their help and support to me.

  In your case I have overall noticed a manic side to your writings over time but there is also a creative side. I hope a lot of people realize, and I myself , through self awareness,I can be very intense because of my disorder. I don't know if people even realize I'm toning it down considerably already. That is the very reason I keep ripping up my bio. I can take criticism if its done right, but I can't handle the feeling of rejection in any way. For instance above, I got a little emotional in talking of my life and used the F word. It was fixed. That didn't bother me. It was a good call. The moderators on this board have been very good with me and I try to regulate myself. I have good days too. Sometimes I dread to look back on the things I have written long ago but that is the way I felt at the time. I don't look back. Maybe I should.

  You mentioned about how we tend to minimize our own plights when this is brought to the fore and it being part of the disease maybe. I have a suspision however that I lack certain chemicals in my brain due to hav ving the villi in my stomach destoyed from Celiacs. Cognitive impairment is definately a part of it. When the Villi is destroyed the absorbtion of nutrients is almost impossible. I have no iron, vitamin D, or folic acid in my blood. I have no way of knowing what is missing in my brain. As Gnat mentioned even levels of sugar can effect your behaviour. I beleive that the human brain took 2 and a half million years to evolve to what it is today and shrinks do not fully understand the interaction of foreign substances clearly enough yet. I have lot to say about that actually,but everyone has there opinion.
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  mouthy

  Crumpet (((((HUG))) My darling... Your a very brave girl...I am so proud of you for post ing your illness.

  My Mother was manic-depressive( they now call it bi-polar) she had shock treatments (8) She was a very clever person, She would write to the newspapers ( Letters to the Editors) about differant topics, they printed them all.Very intelligent woman.

  So !!!! Keep up the counselling sweetie, there will be times you want to drop it.But your a smart cookie that knows it will help.

  God bless !!!!!!Mouthy/Granny/Grace
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  Satanus

  Congratulations, crumpet. While i never was very involved, i often read your posts. So good that you finally got enough of what you needed in your life, so that you could take the important step of taking the bull by the horns, so to speak, and get professional counseling. I'm just happy for you. Things can only get better, now, in the long run. Holding things together all by yourself for so many yrs shows incredible mind power.

  S
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  snarf

  Crumpet,

  I am sooo happy for you that you took that first, and hardest in my opinion, to talk with someone to see what's going on. Millions of people seek help. My doc even told me he takes meds on a regular basis for bouts ofdepression, it affects everyone, so you re not some form of alien life form.hehe. I myself struggle, with depression, panic attacks, ocd, and anxiety.

  Although I was able to get myself off the meds for about a year, my panic attacks finally swung back in full force for no reason. UNFORTUNATELY THIS CAN BE A LIFELONG BATTLE. I just wanted to stress that fact, things happen that trigger our bodies and minds alot of time without our knowledge.

  Another good thing is therapists and docs are like shoes. f you don't like what you see or are uncomfortable, just change em. I went through 7 docs and therapists before I found THE ONE.

  I wish you strength and perserverance on your roaad to self discovery. During this journey you will learn so much about yourself that you would have never thought. If ya ever need a friend day or night, just p.m. me. I have been there and done that.

  Love and peace,

  Snarf
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  Dragonlady76

  ((((Crumpet))))
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  nicolaou

  Oh man I'm so mentally boring! Here's to you Nina for your brave first step and for sharing with all of us - your friends. Tyrone, why does part of me want to spend a week in your head?

  Love to you both

  Nic'
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  Hellrider

  Crumpet:

  Hellrider - so when did you start noticing any kind of oddness or disparities that led you to seek help. And how come it took 10 years.

  I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression at the age of 24, after a kind of nervous breakdown. Like most with bi-polar, I focused on the thing that was troublesome; the depression. Unless you have really manic periods (go nuts with your credit card, drink like a sponge, sleep with everyone etc), you won`t consider yourself "manic", and consequently, you will never tell your doctor about these periods where you are a little bit...nuts (in my case, really...restless - and kind of a "system overload" in my thought patterns). So you`ll only focus on your depression and anxiety, and this is what you`ll be talking to your doctor about, and consequently, some "things" go unnoticed. This is how it was in my case. The bi-polar thing wasn`t discovered until I was sent to an expert on sleep disorders (yes, I have problems with that too...), and we went in-depth into my history. At least I finally understood more about my mood swings, for example, why I stay angry for days on end if I get really upset/hurt over something, what happens when I get stressed, etc. I`m not on medication for it though, I tried, but I didn`t like the side effects. I do take anti-depressives though (cipralex). What really tipped this last doctor of, was when we started talking about my interests (how I like writing and litterature), how my grandfather (the artist - wood carving and painting) had terrible mood swings causing havoc for everyone around him, his alcoholism, other alcoholics in my family, etc. The pieces of the puzzle started coming together. It`s a long process for a lot of people, finding out that they have bi-polar.
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  Little Drummer Boy

  Hi Tyrone...Please don't rule out meds just because one of them gave you horrible side effects....it was just the wrong med. I don't know what type of doctor gave you your prescription. From personal experience, it is very unwise to have a G.P. doctor prescribe meds that work on mental disorders. They just don't have the training. Only a psychyatrist should be doing that because they have the experience to judge which med works best for which type of illness of the mind. I don't know what type of doctor you went to, but I had very bad results just going to a G.P. doctor for meds. I had a very similar experience to yours while on one med. We actually had to call the doctor outside office hours for emergency advice on what I should do to get off the med (if I had to taper off or could I just stop taking it). I was ready to just come unglued. I litterally wanted to crawl out of my skin. Like I wanted my skull to go away so that my mind could expand and be free so it would end it all. I'm kinda surprised I didn't start cutting myself to get my insides on the outside. It was bad....far worse than I can convey in words. And yet, for most people, that med works wonders...just not me. Other meds that he tried for me either put me to sleep, didn't work, or made me slightly worse.

  Then I went to a psychiatrist for the first time. It was a major break through for me because that isn't just admitting you are depressed and having your GP doctor work with you. That is an outright personal admission that you need help in a substantial way mentally. It takes a great deal of courage because there is such a stigma attached to that sort of thing. Also, the admission that I needed that level of help was not an easy pill to swallow (pun intended). But, I consider it to be one of the turning points in my life. I met with the psychiatrist for about an hour or less, had a proper diagnosis for the first time in my life (Bi-polar, Type II), was confidently put on my med (Depakote ER), within 2.5 to 3 days I felt like a normal human again, and I have never looked back.

  I went from the very brink of suicide and/or quite litterally wanting to mutilate those poor souls that happened to get cross wise with me to being about ...I'd say 90% normal (whatever that is). If I miss my meds for one day, I start to get grumpy but I might not notice why, 2 days and I can just tell that I missed the dose. I don't ever want to get back to the way I used to feel. The manic highes aren't worth the lows, when I can lead such a better life if I am on an even keel.

  Crumpet, I had no idea what you are going through. I'm so sorry. If I could take your pain away somehow, I would do so in a heart beat. I'm very proud of you for taking the steps to get better. It isn't easy to do that, like I mentioned, I had to do the same. It is very hard and you are right that there is a stigma. I have found though that if I own the diagnosis it does not own me. I am very open about my diagnosos with people. I have often explained my situation with various people. I don't at all hide the fact that I need meds - I decided that I wouldn't be ashamed of it and that I wouldn't let other people try to make me ashamed of it. Because of that, I have yet to have a negative reaction from a person that I couldn't ovecome and turn around with just a little explaining. Hang in there. Things wil get better. Lotsa love to ya.

  Also, as a general tip especially to anyone with bi-polar disorder: It is a mood disorder and while being primarily a chemical issue that needs attention from meds, there are things you can do to augment the positive effects of your meds and to alleviate some symptoms. I can't recall everything at the moment, but a few things are meditation and exercise. And to eat sweets only in moderation. Blood sugar swings will only aggrevate the whole issue. VERY important - caffeine. It is a mood de-stabilizer. If you drink more than a couple of cups of coffee/tea or have more than a couple of Cokes (or whatever) a day, STOP IT! It is hard to break the caffiene addiction and cut back, but you will feel soooo much better. Consuming alcohol frequently can also have a negative effect.

  My heart goes out to my fellow sufferers...take care of yourselves.
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  KW13

  Crumpet, that was really a big thing to share. Thank you.